16
Mar
16

President Barack Obama’s SCOTUS Decision Summarized

Obama No Fucks

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Jane Coaston: THE WHITE HOUSE. WASHINGTON, D.C. A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

From the office of President Barack Obama

To the office of Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT):

Hey, buddy. Hey, friend.

How’s it going? How are things? Things good? I hope things are good. I hope things are really, really good with you and your family and the nutritional supplement industry and EVERYTHING ELSE IN YOUR THIRD-FROM-THE-PRESIDENCY-BUT-AIN’T-NEVER-GOING-TO-SMELL-THE-DAMN-SEAT LIFE, ORRIN.

Hey, what was that you said last week?

Something about, say, a certain Supreme Court justice nomination?

I believe what you told Newsmax, which is a news source (maybe?), was: “The President told me several times he’s going to nominate a moderate … [Obama] could easily name Merrick Garland, who is a fine man … [But] he probably won’t do that because this appointment is about the election…”

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WELL, GUESS WHAT, ORRIN. GUESS FUCKING WHAT. I’M NOMINATING YOUR PAL MERRICK GARLAND TO THE SUPREME MOTHERFUCKING COURT AND AIN’T SHIT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, FRIEND. I JUST INVITED YOU TO A STEAKHOUSE BUT IT’S A FRIDAY DURING LENT, EXCEPT THE STEAKHOUSE IS CALLED “A CENTRIST JURIST YOU ALREADY LIKE” AND LENT IS “YOUR FUCKING PARTY IS A BUNCH OF EELS IN AN UN-AIR-CONDITIONED SUBWAY CAR, SLAPPING EACH OTHER FOR ETERNITY.”

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Obama Brush JayZ

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I put your fucking party on a RAFT with this nomination, Orrin, and I pushed you off the riverbank into the distance. You want to play politics with ME? You think I’m going to just nominate the most liberal person I can find to the Supreme Court when your party is already being a WET BAG OF ANGRY CATS? No. No. I’m going to nominate the candidate who is going to make shit, like, seventh-grade dance level awkward for you, and I’m going to stand by and WATCH. IT’S BEEN A LONG EIGHT YEARS, ORRIN, AND I JUST WENT DOWN TO THE BASEMENT TO SEE IF I HAD ANY POLITICAL FUCKS LEFT TO GIVE, AND NO. NO, IT APPEARS I AM FRESH OUT.

More here

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112 Responses to “President Barack Obama’s SCOTUS Decision Summarized”


  1. 1 Dudette
    March 16, 2016 at 7:47 pm

  2. 11 Nerdy Wonka
    March 16, 2016 at 7:47 pm

  3. March 16, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    Ooooooooutstanding, thank you sooooooooooo much Nerdy!

  4. 19 Anjo
    March 16, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    Ooh missed first by a whisker

  5. 20 0388jojothecat
    March 16, 2016 at 7:54 pm

    I live this post so brilliant just like our President. It’s going to be dull after he leaves office. It’s like watching a cat play with mice, PBO keeps them alive ling enough for them to destroy themselves.

  6. 21 MightyPamela
    March 16, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Whoa

  7. 22 Dudette
    March 16, 2016 at 8:03 pm

  8. March 16, 2016 at 8:05 pm

  9. March 16, 2016 at 8:06 pm

    Well, what do you know…..

  10. March 16, 2016 at 8:09 pm

    I’m sorry Texans, but this is just CRASS.

  11. March 16, 2016 at 8:12 pm

  12. March 16, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    Could this idiot be more of a fraud?

  13. March 16, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    VP Biden is the freaking best…..remind you of anything 😕

  14. March 16, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    “CHICAGO — In his 30s and 40s, the Rev. C.T. Vivian rode with the Freedom Riders, organized sit-ins in Nashville and worked closely with the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Many years later, before the 2008 election, he traveled the country along with other civil rights leaders exclaiming to voters that a Barack Obama presidency was exactly the kind of prize that they had been fighting for all their lives. All of that came back to him during a meeting at the White House three weeks ago between President Obama and several of those leaders. Mr. Vivian told the president how proud he was of him, and how sad he was to see him go. And then he began to cry. “If there was a way I could keep him there I would keep him there for another term,” Mr. Vivian, 91, said later from his home in Atlanta. “It is difficult for people who are not African-American to understand what it has been to have someone in the White House that you know understands you.”….But a large segment of the country has also been busy gazing upon the presidency that is ending. In interviews, African-Americans around the country said they were counting down the last 10 months of Mr. Obama’s term with pride, with sadness and also with a looming despair.

    …. At dinner tables, Bible studies and classrooms throughout black America, elders, their children and their children’s children have been asking whether the breakthrough they thought they would never see will turn out to be an anomaly that they never see repeated…“I come from an area where we never thought it was going to be possible,” said Russell Singleton, 64, who grew up on the South Side of Chicago and now tends a shoe shine station in the president’s old barbershop. He recalled as a child seeing a racial slur stenciled onto a sidewalk in bright yellow paint, and as a teenager hurling bricks the night Dr. King was assassinated. He added, shaking his head, “I don’t think I’ll see another black president in my lifetime and I’ll say in the younger generation’s lifetime.” “They won’t allow us to have the reins again,” he continued. “It’s a big prize and they hold onto it dearly.” On the West Side of Chicago, Jakya Hobbs, 13, said matter-of-factly that Mr. Obama’s election was a “miracle,” and not in a good way. “Our system isn’t built for a black person to become president,” she said. Perhaps no one expressed the feeling more viscerally than the young black girl who was captured by her grandmother on video wailing hysterically when she learned that Mr. Obama was soon leaving the White House. The video went viral on Facebook, and after Valerie Jarrett, a senior adviser to the president, showed it to him, he told the girl’s grandmother in a Facebook post to “dry her tears, because I’m not going anywhere.”…continued”

  15. 55 Dudette
    March 16, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    LOL!

  16. March 16, 2016 at 8:32 pm

  17. March 16, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    OMG, these people have really gone off the deep end!!!

  18. March 16, 2016 at 8:46 pm

  19. 66 desertflower
    March 16, 2016 at 8:48 pm

  20. March 16, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    Organize!!

  21. March 16, 2016 at 8:55 pm

    Love you, FLO

  22. 73 amk for obama
    March 16, 2016 at 8:59 pm

  23. March 16, 2016 at 8:59 pm

  24. 82 amk for obama
    March 16, 2016 at 9:01 pm

  25. March 16, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    NFLTG Obama is the BEST Obama.

  26. 84 Dudette
    March 16, 2016 at 9:20 pm

  27. 87 Dudette
    March 16, 2016 at 9:22 pm

  28. 88 hopefruit2
    March 16, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    Not satire! LOL 🙂

  29. 89 hopefruit2
    March 16, 2016 at 9:24 pm

    May he RIP. 😦

  30. March 16, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    It is a deep thing that Bernie has been n the Senate for 20+ years…and he has NO support for his candidacy…..none….

  31. 94 Dudette
    March 16, 2016 at 9:26 pm

  32. 97 Dudette
    March 16, 2016 at 9:29 pm

  33. 98 desertflower
    March 16, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    All the KKKrazies will be here this weekend. DT and Cruz…and Rick Perry! Remember him?:) Keep the kids inside!

  34. 99 desertflower
    March 16, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    Are your shoes smarter than a RWNJ?

  35. 101 JER
    March 16, 2016 at 9:50 pm

  36. 103 amk for obama
    March 16, 2016 at 9:52 pm

    you thought that new car smell is oh so heavenly, didja?

    http://www.bbc.com/autos/story/20160315-is-new-car-smell-bad-for-your-health

  37. 104 Dudette
    March 16, 2016 at 9:54 pm

  38. March 16, 2016 at 9:55 pm

  39. 108 amk for obama
    March 16, 2016 at 10:00 pm

  40. 109 amk for obama
    March 16, 2016 at 10:01 pm

  41. March 16, 2016 at 10:12 pm

    So this happened. They’re already gaming the system.

  42. March 16, 2016 at 10:15 pm


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