You guys want to hear (read) a ridiculous a story about mayonnaise?
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016So back in the early 00's I was an auditor for a local chain of convenience stores. As such I'd have to travel around to the various+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
stores to do inspections and such. So on this particular day in August --and it was hot, like over 100-- I ended up at a store that was+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016I guess what Portland folks would consider ✌🏾️the hood✌🏾 at the time. Anyway it was hot and the store's AC had gone out but they had a+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
a Subway kiosk type thing in the store. And it's right about lunch time so this mother fucker is *packed* it's like 147 degrees inside the+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016store. Everybody in the store is like: https://t.co/KsxodqPlZ1
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
So I'm sitting there in the back office bullshitting with the manager who's just gotten his sandwich when somebody starts screaming.
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016So we go out and it's a health inspector. And he is fucking fuming. Red in the face, pouring sweat yelling "SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN NOW!"
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
So we're like https://t.co/yGqUYtKLZD
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016And the inspector guy is like "I SAID GET EVERYBODY OUT AND LOCK THE DOOR! THIS PLACE IS DONE!" https://t.co/unr4Ni0pS3
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
Now keep in mind the store is still fucking packed. And everyone is just sort of looking at dude like: https://t.co/86MZMkK00L
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016Cause you know in that neighborhood, folks screaming inside of stores isn't necessarily *that* uncommon...
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
So there is this weird pause for a couple seconds where no one is really moving and he yells "THE MAYONNAISE IS 80 DEGREES. 80! DEGREES!"
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016But he's real excited and his voice is getting real shrill. Like that Apple Care lady. So I mean it's kind of funny.
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
And somebody giggles...
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016And the inspector goes completely apoplectic. "OH YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE. AT THAT TEMPERATURE, MAYO IS TOXIC!!!"
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
But everybody is still kind of staring at him https://t.co/JkzIPPX7nk
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016So the inspector is like "IT'S TOXIC! IT'S LETHAL! THE FUCKING MAYO IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY!!" https://t.co/r2cje1nMaQ
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
And the store manager, who is like halfway through his sandwich, was like "Wait, TF did he just say?" https://t.co/gwR1PiKA3b
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016So the manager sprints towards the bathroom to try and prevent death by mayonnaise.
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
And most of the people in line are finally realizing that lethal Subway sandwiches are a bad deal. https://t.co/bpSotTrlPi
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016But there is this one dude who is just standing there at the counter like: https://t.co/hS8SsgUOEe
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
And he looks at the health inspector and asks "But what if I don't want a sandwich with mayo?" https://t.co/GHV921MOFP
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016And the health inspector stops dead in his tracks and goes full super saiyan https://t.co/Py9IvUDIeo
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
"SIR! SIIIIIIIIIR!!! DO YOU *WANT* TO DIE????? DO YOU WANT A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!"
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016He is just pissed, but he's still shrieking so in old boy's defense it's still hard to take him seriously
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
Anyway dude is like "this is bullshit. I've got 15 minutes left on my lunch break and I want a sandwich."
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016And the inspector is like "SIR! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!"
And old boy is like "No, YOU don't understand!"
And walks over to the inspector+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
Rears up on the inspector and in a real low voice goes "I. Want. A. Fucking. Sandwich." https://t.co/VOvqdn6IEP
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016Now you may think "Well, this story has reached peak fuckery!"
But no friends, oh nooooooo.
Cause right about the time we calm dude down+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
In walk the cops... https://t.co/jcAIyW1elf
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016Now we thought the cops were there to help the health inspector lock the place down https://t.co/a8m81nWubD
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
There was *another* customer who called the cops on the *health inspector* for not letting him buy a sandwich. https://t.co/EWHSkBCwYy
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016Because apparently, a "government goon" refusing to let a private citizen buy a toxic sandwich is a violation of constitutional rights.
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
So now Don't Tread on Me Bro and My Lunch Break is Almost Over Bro have formed an alliance.
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016And they are pleading their case to this cop who in fairness, was way over his head the second he took the call. https://t.co/ZLMHT8wNqo
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
So the officer is getting yelled at by Team Deadly Sandwich is a Constitutional Right and the inspector who at this point is screaming+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016at a pitch that only chinchillas can hear. And he makes the mistake of trying to play peacemaker and asks "OK, for the sake of argument...
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
...what kind of sandwiches to you guys want?" https://t.co/p1DVJ0ZzpB
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016Lunch Break Bro says "Ham, cheese, and bread. Dassit."
But guess what Don't Tread on Me Bro says.
Just.
Guess.
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
My man deadass looks the cop in the eye and says:
A.
Goddamned.
Tuna
Salad
Sandwich. https://t.co/IXVqNw7vyB
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016The Health Inspector: https://t.co/U3SRXcXYS9
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
The Cop: https://t.co/uNK195hA2N
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016Even Lunch Break Bro: https://t.co/w35CXPWnKh
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
(Lunch Break Bro was especially agitated after sensing Don't Tread Bro's answer basically killed the chances of getting his ham sandwich)
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016Anyway, backup finally came and as they are escorting the dudes out of the store, they were still arguing about not being able to buy+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
those toxic ass sandwiches. Like screaming about liberties, law suits, and everything else. 😂😂😂😂😂
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016Anyway they ended up locking everything down until the Subway folks pulled all the food and such. And after the inspector--who the cops
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
wanted to call an ambulance for because he legit looked like his whole head was going to pop off-- finally calmed down, we asked him if he
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016had ever experienced anything quite like that before. He kind of sighed and even chuckled a little bit and said "Well last week, a woman+
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016****
tried to stab me with salad tongs after I shut down a buffet, so aside from the AC being broke, this really wasn't that bad of a day!"
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) January 16, 2016
Thanks Nerdy!!!
⭐
🙂
Congrats sw! You’re having a mighty fine day, aren’t ya? 😀
Yes I am!!! 😀
Did I miss PBO??
Cat apparently has John McCain’s tongue. Has had nothing to say on Twitter since his whining about the now-released sailors capture. Guess he’s not so happy that they were returned within 24 hours, that 5 more Americans have been released and that the IAEA says Iran has lived up to it’s part of the Iran Deal. It must be so painful to seethe in that much hate for his own country and fellow citizens.
I hope John McCain turns himself inside out from all the pent up rage. Then I hope that he gets his ass kicked in November and gets lost in one of his 12 houses….and starts talking to himself…oh, wait. He already does that….
Thanks Nerdy for the hilarious “Don’t Tread on My Toxic Mayonnaise” story!
Just got home from work and the neighbors are STILL working on the endless construction of their patio? doghouse? hideout? meth lab? complete with hammers, power drills, saws and sanders FOREVER.
I needed to start the evening with a smile 🙂
Happy to help. 🙂
Truly hilarious! 😀 😀 😀
🙂
Jeb Bush probably never prayed a day in his life about the release of these prisoners, These right wing politicians-all of them hypocrites- are making a mockery of Christianity.
I also doubt he knew who they were – if he even knew of their existence.
more lies from this war criminal asshole. they are not hostages, prisoners. this punk who kidnapped and brought 100’s to gitmo is saying they never should have been held at all.
what is this disgraced rat even doing on twitter?
Related:
Personally I think he earned the one he already has quite sometime ago, but if somebody think he deserves another, they’ll get no argument from me! 😉
I agree, Sec. John Kerry deserves a Nobel Peace Prize!
Loved the tweets thanks nw – really hard to save some people from themselves (lots of GOP governors in “some people” )
🙂
GA/GE TODville.
NerdyW, that was the most hilarious tweet string I’ve read. Can you imagine being there (in 147F heat). Oh my.
Here’s more good news — remember how PBO would kill for great guacamole?
Guess how he and Michelle are celebrating her birthday tonight?
From the pool report…
“The President and First Lady are having dinner with friends at Oyamel Cocina Mexicana.”
😀 😀 😀
🙂
Interesting cartoon posted in response to the above tweet. Honestly, I’m not sure if it means the poster is “for” or “against” the Iran deal. Not that interested in finding out either. I’d rather just cheer on our team! Team Obama Rocks! 😀
VP Joe, once again, I really wish you had run for the presidency;
reason for expressing this again at this time is per media reports:
– BS => I won’t follow PBO’s legacy ;
– HRC => Iran does not deserve any thanks; she calls for “new sanctions on Iran” ; yet I see her supporters on twitter demanding that she be given as much credit for the #IranDeal as PBO and SoS Kerry;
and all this coming in one night – and tonight of all nights …. a historical night;
it is very hard to muster enthusiasm for these candidates;
how did we get into this predicament???
Got the perfect one linda – an impossible act to follow
Bingo!
yeah, you are right!
GC Linda, I am with you 100%!
Thanks, Linda. I liked the graphics used in this by the White House.
Not sure this is the way to go for HRC:
Frank Vdl @fvdlfvdl 6m6 minutes ago
@HeerJeet Obama admin has been talking about the pse new sanctions for weeks, because of the ballistic missiles. Please inform yourself.
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Jeet Heer @HeerJeet 1m1 minute ago
@fvdlfvdl Yes, but Hillary is “calling” for something that is already happening, trying to make herself sound tougher than Obama.
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Frank Vdl @fvdlfvdl 1m1 minute ago
@HeerJeet That’s your interpretation.. Don’t see that at all.
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KStreetHipster @KStreetHipster 15m15 minutes ago
@HeerJeet @thehill I just don’t understand why she thinks the dem base wants this. This is so cynical.
These are sanctions that the President is already working on , mentioned them previously.
Some sanity!
😀
Hi Dudette
Do you know why your Sunday shows always GOP people? Did this happen before PBO? Are democrats not invited or do they refuse to participate?
I never paid much attention to the Sunday shows before PBO, but the few times I did watch back in the day, I did to have the impression there was always (supposed to be) someone from each side represented. Now I don’t watch, because they’re just sounding boards for the RW talking points.
99ts, the networks that air these shows are all owned by right leaning corporations who really don’t want diversified views. I doubt that Democrats are asked to participate.
We have a few media issues in my world (and too much quoting of US RW sources) – but every political program includes both sides. Apart from anything else – during election times, giving free media to one party over another is illegal.
We used to have something similar here too: the Fairness Doctrine. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairness_Doctrine
I’ve often heard the term but this is the first time I’ve read the details – thanks Maryl
Yes, 99ts! Sunday shows have always booked more GOP people than Democrats. Like everything else in the U.S. In the media Since the election of President Obama, the Sunday’s shows have featured even more Republicans than ever before.
Dudette, these shows might as well put up big signs, saying, “Don’t Watch Me!” They have deliberately chosen to appeal to senior citizen right wingers and pretty much kissed younger, more moderate and certainly more liberal audiences aside. I suspect a lot of these shows run in retirement facility lounges where people doze in and out of sleep and don’t pay much attention.
Sounds right to me, jg!
My country has gun control – and we love it. Pandering to RWNJs has never worked before – and it won’t work with this.
We’re bigger and have more dumb people.
It was also a RW PM who brought in gun control – it was 100% partisan. Don’t know if it could have happened if LW was in power at the time of the biggest ever massacre.
Damn Walmart…
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/dc-politics/district-leaders-furious-walmart-wont-build-stores-in-poor-neighborhoods/2016/01/15/3425f5fa-bbb3-11e5-99f3-184bc379b12d_story.html?tid=ss_tw
Council member Jack Evans (D-Ward 2), head of the council’s finance committee, sat in on the meeting Friday morning with Walmart officials and Brian Kenner, Bowser’s deputy mayor for planning and economic development.
Evans said that, behind closed doors, Walmart officials were more frank about the reasons the company was downsizing. He said the company cited the District’s rising minimum wage, now at $11.50 an hour and possibly going to $15 an hour if a proposed ballot measure is successful in November. He also said a proposal for legislation requiring D.C. employers to pay into a fund for family and medical leave for employees, and another effort to require a minimum amount of hours for hourly workers were compounding costs and concerns for the retailer.
In other words, GGail, if Walmart can’t pay slave wages and force their employees to go on public assistance, then they are picking up their marbles and going home. The Walton family and their Board of Directors are really slime.
yup, I don’t know which is the worst
starting the lies, propagating the lies through a corrupt & complicit media or end up finally believing their own lies.
All of the above
I believe the media is by far the worst – if they called out the GOP lies instead of applauding them – the GOP would reform or die.
I guess we won’t be hearing from PBO tonight. He was out to dinner with friends, and will probably wait until tomorrow morning to disrupt the MSM “storytime with the GOP” shows to deliver his message….Also that might allow for the newly-released detainees to depart Iran and be well on their way to the US, or safely landed on US soil.
I agree, they can’t let POTUS speak about this till the prisoners have left Iran.
FLOTUS’ birthday dinner?
Daggonit, why didn’t I go to NYC this weekend like I thought I was gonna do?
Here’s how the stupid ass Republicans feel about the news about the hostage being released…”So what you save their lives, what took so long.” And person with any dam sense would be saying, thank you for saving their lives.
Official Music Video
Isolated vocals
OMG!!
The story in the tweets is giving me stomach cramps, I’m laughing so hard.
BWA HA AH AH AH AH AH AH AH
😀
🙂
Original article from The Guardian
http://www.theguardian.com/stage/dance-blog/2016/jan/12/bbc-young-dancer-vidya-patel-kathak-indian-classical-dance
Obama is weak in fighting terrorism/ISIS….
Ezra Klein and Jeffrey Goldberg straight trippin’ — like it wasn’t diplomacy that got those folks released.
And the Iran negotiators could care less about the Washington Post. Talk about media B.S.
Haha! I didn’t even see this before I posted below! GMTA! 🙂
🙂
Queen Rania of Jordan has published a cartoon as a riposte after Charlie Hebdo linked the drowned Syrian child Alan Kurdi with migrants accused of sex attacks in Germany.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-35333895
they have gone from irreverent to tasteless.
I’m so not Charlie!
The only reason the RW hopped on the ‘Je Suis Charlie’ train was because they mocked Islam. If CH had done satire about Christianity, the RWNJs would have stayed in their anti-French mode and probably would have mounted a new call for Freedom Fries.
Or more likely: If you stayed home, didn’t vote, and let that party come to power…
I hope any residents who are in that category now realize how imperative it is to do what you can and show up to vote.
LOL.
New post.
http://theobamadiary.com/2016/01/16/iran-tweets-of-the-day/
Dudette that’s my home girl from Nigeria you need to check out another good singer Nneka (My love) you will like the video
Nerdy, I came home about half an hour ago, read the mayo saga, and have yet to stop laughing. It was a tough week, I may be a bit hysterical. That’s SO MUCH for giving us this house’s story and for all the other wonderful with you do here!