A Little Hahahaha To End The Day

"911 whats ur emergency" omg im DYING "we'll send someone right awa–" i met THE funiest guy "ok wait so ur not actualy–" AND HE STABBED ME

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jomny sun (@jonnysun) July 14, 2015

[first date] Her: so, if you were stranded on an island, and could only br- Me: Shrek 2 DVD Her: but you don't have a TV- Me: Shrek. 2. DVD.

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cool as h*ck turtle (@dubstep4dads) July 10, 2015

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Imagine you're about to have surgery and right before the anesthesia kicks in you notice a "University of Phoenix" degree on the wall

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cool as h*ck turtle (@dubstep4dads) July 04, 2015

[Me bird watching] When do they fuck? [Old man] They don't [Me] Then why are we watching them

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Rad Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) July 13, 2015

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Read these shocking ten facts about gluten before you sink your teeth into a nice loaf http://t.co/ruWa4L2WnL

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cool as h*ck turtle (@dubstep4dads) July 04, 2015

Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders.

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Matt Shirley (@mattsurely) June 02, 2015

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Me: I just love when girls are like, "I'm literally dying." As if we're not all fucking slowly dying. Barista: ...ok so did u want coffee

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cool as h*ck turtle (@dubstep4dads) June 22, 2015

you can literally ride a goat into any Wal-Mart. nobody cares. no one there will even notice

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cool as h*ck turtle (@dubstep4dads) June 22, 2015

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[just about to have sex for the first time and I recall that I missed the one week of sex ed in school] Me: Im sorry what the fuck is that

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cool as h*ck turtle (@dubstep4dads) June 17, 2015

Zoo Keeper: Don't throw reese's cups at the penguins! Me: ye but they eatin them tho [ZK stares at penguins] ZK: oh shit they eatin them tho

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ruined picnic (@ruinedpicnic) February 24, 2015

A Tweet Or Two

"I hope this young man never loses his desire to help others." —@POTUS on @HumansOfNY: on.fb.me/1fXeBrR http://t.co/X8qfJ8ENp5

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) September 03, 2015

In my first @Medium piece, debunked myths around the @theIranDeal. Consider the facts: goo.gl/YXd0jN

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John Kerry (@JohnKerry) September 03, 2015

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Drops Mic

when the masterminds behind the iraq invasion compare you to neville chamberlain but you got 34 votes vine.co/v/eTbhOjjJ9Ot

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Sean McElwee (@SeanMcElwee) September 03, 2015

I have decided to support the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action. My full statement: 1.usa.gov/1Upubzl

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Rep. Rick Larsen (@RepRickLarsen) September 03, 2015

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“It’s a day that’s been months in the making: On Tuesday, Gov. Bill Walker’s Medicaid expansion program began accepting applications. With the official rollout, more than 20,000 Alaskans who previously did not qualify for Medicaid coverage became eligible”

Medicaid expansion program begins accepting applications: ktva.com/?p=90359 #Alaska http://t.co/UMDVEZkvHQ

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KTVA 11 News (@ktva) September 02, 2015

US job creation index at +32, fourth straight monthly high: Gallup. twitthat.com/YNXjx #economy #jobs http://t.co/3qdCoHXrf1

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  (@bored2tears) September 02, 2015

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After careful deliberation, I have decided to support the #IranNuclearDeal. Read my full statement here: go.usa.gov/3Mq83

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Rep. Bobby Scott (@repbobbyscott) September 03, 2015

Read on @Medium why I'm supporting the #IranDeal to prevent Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon &keep Americans safe bit.ly/1OdE6Rq

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Sen. Heidi Heitkamp (@SenatorHeitkamp) September 03, 2015

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The cowardice of Cory Booker

Breaking: @CoryBooker backs "deeply flawed" Iran deal, despite concerns: philly.com/philly/blogs/c…

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Jonathan Tamari (@JonathanTamari) September 03, 2015

"This is the strongest non proliferation agreement ever negotiated." - @BarackObama #TheIranDeal http://t.co/XhCJzZa6ys

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Donna NoShock (@NoShock) September 03, 2015

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VA Sen. Mark Warner supports Iran deal, @PressSec says, bringing total to 36

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Rebecca Nelson (@rebeccarnelson) September 03, 2015

These are the undeclared Senators on #IranDeal Bennet Blumenthal Cantwell Cardin Heitkamp Manchin Peters Wyden http://t.co/NHC9BvpfNB

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meta (@metaquest) September 03, 2015

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#TGIT takeover. WOOOOHOOOO!

How @Kerrywashington really feels about working for @shondarhimes: trib.al/HNGMJxk (cc @EW) #EWTGIT http://t.co/77EyZk993u

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Essence Magazine (@essencemag) September 03, 2015

Your Shondaland Spectacular has arrived—with scoop on #Scandal, #Greys and #HTGAWM: ow.ly/RIu1z #EWTGIT 😍 http://t.co/WIcN3NHsNd

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Entertainment Weekly (@EW) September 03, 2015

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5 things to say to anyone who says Black Lives Matter promotes violence against cops huff.to/1JQnivI http://t.co/nTjXdCXhkG

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HuffPost Politics (@HuffPostPol) September 03, 2015

Obama left a pretty personal Facebook comment on this Humans of New York photo from Iran vox.com/2015/9/3/92572… http://t.co/kcQVp2cm24

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Vox (@voxdotcom) September 03, 2015

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Welcome to the new definition of lame duck

Obama's last 3 mos: #IranDeal Cuba Gay marriage Obamacare upheld TPA Overtime Clemency Amazing Grace Transgender military Carbon regs Denali

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Steven Dennis (@StevenTDennis) September 02, 2015

@StevenTDennis also, disparate impact and housing agenda

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Daniel Horowitz (@RMConservative) September 02, 2015

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Opposite of lame duck. Healthy duck. Power duck! twitter.com/StevenTDennis/…

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David Roberts (@drvox) September 02, 2015

We are in the YOLObama era of this presidency. twitter.com/steventdennis/…

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Sahil Kapur (@sahilkapur) September 02, 2015

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@WhiteHouse map on the more than 100 countries that have endorsed @TheIranDeal #IranDeal whitehouse.gov/issues/foreign…

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Ferial Govashiri (@FerialGovashiri) September 03, 2015

Total lame duck... twitter.com/StevenTDennis/…

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Tim Dickinson (@7im) September 02, 2015

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Prison officials call for limiting solitary confinement nyti.ms/1KrTLPn http://t.co/2eNodxcMoM

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The New York Times (@nytimes) September 02, 2015

Come on, .@RonWyden , Oregonians want both of their Senators to support #IranDeal & our .@POTUS. twitter.com/metaquest/stat…

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Judith Fardig (@FardigJudith) September 03, 2015

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President Obama to award arts and humanities medals on Sept 10. List of recipients: usat.ly/1Uvt385 via @usatoday

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meta (@metaquest) September 03, 2015

I am so honored to accept the National Humanities Medal from @POTUS Watch live 9/10 @ 3pm EDT WhiteHouse.gov/live http://t.co/oT3xyhelKM

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Alice Waters (@AliceWaters) September 03, 2015

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A cop lying?! What a “shocker”

Massachusetts cop made up story about being shot at, police say nbcnews.to/1JCdQwW via @necn http://t.co/tgFwaDBNh5

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NBC News (@NBCNews) September 03, 2015

Report: 3 of 6 deputy Kentucky clerks have agreed to issue marriage licenses to gay couples bit.ly/1JR0An8 http://t.co/VSVW9G7r72

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Talking Points Memo (@TPM) September 03, 2015

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my god. cbc.ca/news/canada/br… http://t.co/FQJ4kDrKnd

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Sean McElwee (@SeanMcElwee) September 03, 2015

An image of Abdullah Kurdi, and his sons Aylan and Galip, sent to me by a family friend. Heartbreaking. http://t.co/5s7RuY41ZT

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Hussein Kesvani (@HKesvani) September 03, 2015

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What a scumbag

Peter Bucklitsch just deleted his Twitter account . UK peeps, don't forget what he said. http://t.co/F1Hg2IDQWv

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Tyler Jess Thompson (@TylerThompsonDC) September 03, 2015

South Carolina prosecutor to seek death penalty for Dylann Roof accused of killing 9 black churchgoers in Charleston http://t.co/hdbuIPRouY

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BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) September 03, 2015

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California lawmakers vote to divest from coal thkpr.Gs/3698289

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ThinkProgress (@thinkprogress) September 03, 2015

New Obamacare regulations ensure transgender people’s access to health care thkpr.Gs/3698345

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ThinkProgress (@thinkprogress) September 03, 2015

Thank You, Alaska

I loved Alaska and met so many inspiring people. Have to keep up the fight on climate change for their sake—and ours. snpy.tv/1JQQYbZ

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President Obama (@POTUS) September 03, 2015

Chat Away

Who You Choose To Become President, Matters

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Jeffrey Young: New Rules Bar Transgender Discrimination In Health Care

The Obama administration is making a major push for transgender rights by prohibiting health insurance companies and medical providers from discriminating against patients because of their gender identities. Under a proposed regulation issued by the Department of Health and Human Services Thursday, transgender people would be entitled to equal treatment in health care and would gain the legal right to make civil rights claims against insurers, doctors, hospitals and others who deny them coverage or necessary care because they are transgender. That includes forbidding health insurers from categorically excluding treatments related to gender transitions.

Transgender people can face significant barriers to getting medical care, as insurers often won’t cover treatments such as hormone therapy and mental health counseling, especially when this care is related to transitioning, and health care providers sometimes refuse care. The health care regulation is the latest in a series of actions President Barack Obama has taken to advance transgender rights, including tangible steps like making it easier for people to get new passports that reflect their gender identity and symbolic gestures like mentioning transgender people during his State of the Union address.

More here

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Transgender people to be protected against discrimination in the health care system under a new proposed regulation. huff.to/1Qb47SH

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Jeffrey Young (@JeffYoung) September 03, 2015

‘Obamamania’

TheObamaDiary: ‘Obamamania’

Early Bird Rise and Shine

by Doug Mills

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Today

9:10 AM ET: The President arrives at the White House from Anchorage, Alaska

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President Obama looks at puppies belonging to the 2011 Iditarod champion John Baker, right, in Kotzebue, Alaska

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MoooOOOooorning!