140 Characters Of Political Humor

[in my bedroom] ME: i'll put on some music to set the mood DATE: ok [i push play on my stereo] 🎶 WHERE DID U COME FROM COTTON EYE JOE 🎶

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Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) June 23, 2015

“Quit it, Bryce.” “No you quit it.” http://t.co/TwOPDPeq7Z

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philippe iujvidin (@philyuck) June 21, 2015

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"Welcome to lazy club. My name i-*doors get kicked in* "THIS IS A ROBBERY! NOBODY MOVE!" [voice from the back] "Nobody was going to."

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Poorly Drawn Turtle (@NoTheOtherJohn) December 29, 2014

Parents: "When are you gonna have kids?" Me: "When the police don't take my baby in the Sims."

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Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) July 03, 2015

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Me: Can you be cool for a sec so I can check Twitter? Baby: *falls off changing table, screams* Me: I SAID BE COOL

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Musky Lozenge™ (@LostCatDog) December 28, 2012

This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.

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  (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 02, 2015

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My penis brought 7 boys to the yard/ they're like Sir put on your pants/ I'm like You're not real cops Long story short they tasered my dick

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Growly Grego (@GrowlyGrego) June 30, 2015

I just asked Siri "What's zero divided by zero?" and she replied "Chris Christie's chances of becoming president."

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  (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 01, 2015

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In the future, everybody will be a GOP presidential candidate for 15 minutes.

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progressive spice (@goldengateblond) June 15, 2015

The GOP just hates Obamacare because misogyny and racism don't qualify as preexisting conditions.

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  (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 26, 2015

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Son, I love you. Nothing will ever change that. "Ayn Rand was a genius." I was wrong, son. *peers longingly out window* So very, very wrong.

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Jason Miller (@longwall26) June 24, 2015

TOP REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES: 1) Ted Cruz 2) A gun 3) Your racist uncle 4) A gun in a cowboy hat 5) Jeb Bush 6) Literally a turd

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Kyle Lippert (@Kyle_Lippert) June 25, 2015

#ThisIsACoup – Updates on Greece

As most of you know, I was hoping for a “Yes” vote in the Greek referendum, especially as the proposal which the Tsipras government put forth this week encompassed most of the demands which Greece’s creditors had been making.

The Syriza proposals were approved by the creditors, and sent to the Eurozone finance ministers. And then Germany got in the act.

In an act of suicidal hubris, Germany is demanding nothing short of humiliation for Greece. Even though I had hoped for a Yes vote, this petty revenge is unbelievable from a country which plunged Europe into two World Wars. It is Germany’s gambit to establish the EU as merely a Greater German Co-Prosperity Sphere.

Here is where we stand at the moment.

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Newspaper headlines.

Frankfurter Allgemeine

Translation: Trust has been lost; Doubts of Greece’s willingness to reform.

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Le Figaro

Translation: Greece has driven a wedge between France and Germany

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Liberation

Translation: What game is Germany playing?

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Wall Street Journal

#IranTalksVienna: The Latest

Tweets by @lrozen

Laura Rozen

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Tweets by @abasinfo

Abas Aslani

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Tweets by @Our4thEstate

Sir Bob

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Tweets by @tparsi

Trita Parsi

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(Posting again because of all the talk of a deal being close-ish)

The Week Ahead

On This Day: First Lady Michelle Obama walks along the beach with, from left, Dan Rowe, of the Bay County Tourist Development Council, Panama City Beach Mayor Gayle Oberstand, and Carol Browner, assistant to the President for energy and climate change, during her visit to Panama City Beach, Fla., July 12, 2010 (Photo by Samantha Appleton)

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Monday

The President will deliver remarks at the White House Conference on Aging.

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Tuesday

The President will travel to Philadelphia to deliver remarks at the NAACP’s national convention.

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Wednesday

The President will travel to Durant, Oklahoma where he will visit the Choctaw Nation and deliver remarks on expanding economic opportunity. The President will spend the night in Oklahoma.

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Thursday

He will make the first visit by a sitting President to a Federal prison, the El Reno Federal Correctional Institution located just outside Oklahoma City. While there the President will meet with law enforcement officials and inmates and will conduct an interview for a Vice documentary, that will air in the Fall, about the realities of the criminal justice system.

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Friday

No details as yet.

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On This Day

President Obama talks by phone with U.S. Supreme Court Justice nominee, Judge Sonia Sotomayor, from the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, Sunday, July 12, 2009 (Photo by Lawrence Jackson)

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President Obama shakes hands with Cub Scout Raphael Cash from Bowie, Md., prior to a meeting with a group of Boy Scouts of America youth members and executive leaders in the Oval Office, July 12, 2010 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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President Obama hugs Bertha Petry, the grandmother of Sergeant First Class Leroy Arthur Petry, U.S. Army, in the Blue Room of the White House, July 12, 2011. The President later awarded SFC Petry, left, the Medal of Honor for his courageous actions during combat operations against an armed enemy in Paktya, Afghanistan, in May 2008 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama talks with Andrew Kline, outgoing Chief of Staff, Office of Intellectual Property Enforcement, in the Oval Office, July 12, 2011. Kline’s daughter, Logan, sits atop the Resolute Desk (Photo by Pete Souza)

“Chuck Kennedy covered the funeral of former First Lady Betty Ford at St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church in Palm Desert, Calif. In attendance were three former First Ladies as well as the current First Lady, all shown here backstage, from left: Nancy Reagan, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Rosalynn Carter and Michelle Obama.” July 12, 2011 (Photo by Chuck Kennedy)

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President Obama talks with departing staff member Ruchi Bhowmik and her family in the Oval Office, July 12, 2013 (Photo by Lawrence Jackson)

#IranTalksVienna

Tweets by @tparsi

Trita Parsi

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Tweets by @lrozen

Laura Rozen

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Tweets by @abasinfo

Abas Aslani

Early Bird Chat

On This Day: President Barack Obama blows a kiss to Oren Baer, son of Ken Baer, the departing Associate Director for Communications and Strategic Planning at OMB, during a visit to the Oval Office, July 12, 2012. Baer’s daughter, Avital, and wife, Caron Gremont, watch at left (Photo by Lawrence Jackson)

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MoooOOOooorning!