Time to groove out to the lightning fingers of Mr. Joe Bonamassa.
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Just Got Paid
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You Shook Me
Time to groove out to the lightning fingers of Mr. Joe Bonamassa.
***
Just Got Paid
***
You Shook Me
I handed my dad an egg. http://t.co/8HitnbbbMz
—
Mått (@shadygrenade) June 20, 2015
Someone sent me a 12 minute YouTube video as if I have that kind of attention span. That's like the YouTube equivalent of Lord of the Rings.
—
(@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 19, 2015
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A fox: People aren't so bad. I hear they named a news station after us.
[Watches 1 minute of Hannity]
We attack the humans at dawn.
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(@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 18, 2015
No thanks, Jurassic World. If I want to watch something that contains sexism and dinosaurs I'll turn on Fox News.
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(@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 13, 2015
****
'what about this one?'
rock n roll
'and this?'
rock n roll
'and this one?'
still rock n roll to me
-billy joel taking a rorschach test
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very nice kyle (@hippieswordfish) September 22, 2014
*walks into 7/11 back room*
God?!
GOD: Yeah
What are you doing here?
GOD: This is my office
Everyone thinks you're in the sky
GOD: Lol what
—
Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) June 14, 2015
****
When I used to get bullied in grade school my mom always told me to keep my chin up because when it was down I looked fat.
—
Brandon Scott Wolf (@BrandonEsWolf) September 02, 2013
look pal im a surgeon it takes a lot to gross me out...*guy eats a grape with a hair on it*...jesus christ
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brent (@murrman5) June 20, 2015
****
When a man and a woman love each other very much, Disney or George R. R. Martin will kill at least one of them.
—
(@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 08, 2015
[sees girl crying at table after being stood up]
um excuse me
[sniff] Yes
Can u shut up it's our anniversary we're tryin to have a good time
—
Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) June 22, 2015
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[Job interview]
"What are your strengths?"
Me: I fall in love easily.
"Erm, okay... what are your weaknesses?"
Me: Those blue eyes of yours.
—
Stephen Molloy (@stephenjmolloy) June 16, 2015
[teaching a class how to put a condom on using a banana]
"Now this banana's ready to fuck."
—
(@Tommytoughstuff) June 23, 2015
****
[starbucks cup says 'Jorsh' instead of Josh]
me: fucking starbucks
some guy named Jorsh: that guy just took my latte
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ƦƲƖƝЄƊ ƤƖƇƝƖƇ (@ruinedpicnic) May 03, 2015
Oh really, Carol? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take you to mind your own business
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Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) October 06, 2014
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SNAKES: Are we late?
GOD: Yeah…I'm out of arms and legs
SNAKES: Omg. Well what's left?
GOD: *motions to jar labeled Poison & Nightmares*
—
Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) June 05, 2015
wife: its ruining date night
me: its ruining date night because you're letting it ruin date night
hitchhiker: just drop me off on the corner
—
Brent (@murrman5) December 08, 2014
And how would @BernieSanders be one of the 1st #BlackLivesMatter activists in 1962? Were negroes just sitting quietly until December 1961?
—
Elon James White (@elonjames) July 07, 2015
If @BernieSanders wants the Black vote, let him make the argument. But don't appropriate a movement while trying to make some connection.
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Elon James White (@elonjames) July 07, 2015
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Bernie has barely mentioned Black Lives Matter. Trying to appropriate #BlackLivesMatter reeks of white privilege. twitter.com/tysonmanker/st…
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Maria Meanmuthafucka (@desertcronenm) July 07, 2015
I actually really want to be courted by @BernieSanders. I'm still not ready for Hillary and it feels like dude isn't even trying for us.
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Elon James White (@elonjames) July 07, 2015
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@eclecticbrotha And then Martin asked, Bernie, can you help me write this letter from jail, and Bernie descended from the Heavens ..
—
rootless (@root_e) July 07, 2015
Abraham, Martin and Bern. twitter.com/root_e/status/…
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Aniyar Uoke (@eclecticbrotha) July 07, 2015
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Sen. Bernie Sanders Wants You People of Color to Know Your Issues Aren't Important. tinyurl.com/l54fgpg http://t.co/BqcsTDWtiT
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Allan Brauer (@allanbrauer) June 16, 2015
Bernie Sander's disgusting postmortem on the 2014 election rings hollow and privileged: news.mpbn.net/post/sen-berni… h/t @allanbrauer @Only4RM
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Highly Scatological (@RaisingOneBrow) June 16, 2015
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Bernie Sanders on "black lives matter." npr.org/sections/itsal… http://t.co/ziUMlEWJKq
—
Gus (@Gus_802) July 07, 2015
Apparently just hating banks will end racism.
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Gus (@Gus_802) July 07, 2015
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In 40+ years of running for office, Bernie Sanders has never really had to campaign for Black Votes...
...and it shows.
—
Malcolm Johnson (@admiralmpj) July 07, 2015
Bernie Sanders is the candidate of white Emoprogs that never accepted the black President.
—
Jeff Gauvin (@JeffersonObama) July 07, 2015
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@TheObamaDiary @MattMurph24 Feels like firedoglake got the band back together for a reunion tour.
—
meta (@metaquest) July 07, 2015
We're about 48 hours from full bernie people meltdown of the form YOU BLACKS JUST HATE WHITES
—
SheriffFruitfly (@sherifffruitfly) July 07, 2015
****
In Bernie Sanders's world, Wall Street is E-V-I-L.
Gun manufacturing companies however, he gives a big thumbs up.
slate.com/blogs/the_slat…
—
Nerdy Wonka (@NerdyWonka) July 07, 2015
Seeing a whole lot of #GunSense advocates throwing their convictions in the waste bin because... #Bernie. Sad. Sick. twitter.com/maddow/status/…
—
(@Only4RM) July 07, 2015
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1) Gunmakers flood the market with cheap weapons that serve no purpose than to support Crime. Bernie gave those gunmakers legal cover.
—
Malcolm Johnson (@admiralmpj) July 07, 2015
2) Bernie supporters are so in love with his anti Wall St. message, they expect me to forgive him for giving those Gunmakers legal cover.
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Malcolm Johnson (@admiralmpj) July 07, 2015
3) That ain't happening. Too many black kids are killed with these crap guns, and Bernie says we have no right to sue the Gunmakers. NO.
—
Malcolm Johnson (@admiralmpj) July 07, 2015
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If Pres Obama shared #BernieSanders stance on guns the white progressive wing of the party would be crucifying him right now.
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BJW2 (@Freefree0Bobbie) July 07, 2015
Ahem--> Bernie Sanders supported the most odious NRA–backed law in recent memory, against Sandy Hook families slate.com/articles/news_…
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Beach Peanuts (@BeachPeanuts) June 25, 2015
****
Bernie Sanders proposes to continue using drones! Oops, wait, that's true.
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Gus (@Gus_802) June 12, 2015
I'm so glad that GGD (Gitmo/Guns/Drones) is no longer an issue, now that we Feel The Bern. #blackpresidentsideeffects
—
RunBidenRun (@theonlyadult) July 07, 2015
****
Wait, Sanders voted against shutting down Guantanamo?! Progressives pick the weirdest heroes.
—
F-ING RAINBOW Peretz (@Rex4711) July 07, 2015
If you spent any time bashing PBO over Guantanamo, but now salivating over Bernie Sanders, you are indeed a petty hypocritical mofo.
—
Monie (@MonieTalks_1) July 07, 2015
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"It’s almost like Netanyahu jotted down talking points and gave them to Bernie Sanders"
#Gaza
youtube.com/watch?v=iPVKSi…
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TheObamaDiary.com (@TheObamaDiary) July 07, 2015
Not happy abt Bernie's Israel stance. Activists Disrupt Sanders Speech Over His Support For War Via @AddInfoOrg addictinginfo.org/2014/09/21/act…
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(@thepoliticalcat) July 06, 2015
Bernie Sanders #Gaza http://t.co/phqT9KYnVc
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TheObamaDiary.com (@TheObamaDiary) July 07, 2015
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Find @BernieSanders's sudden REDEFINITION of the unemployment rate a despicable attempt to discredit Pres. Obama. #BerningBridges
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(@Only4RM) July 07, 2015
Bernie Sanders speech last night re "real" unemployment rate? - picked up by Daily Caller, Wash Times, HotAir, Newsmax and Twitchy. / GFOH
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k8 (@rolling_2) July 07, 2015
Now we have Republicans quoting #BernieSanders re: UE rate to discredit Pres Obama. Remind me again how this will get my vote? #NotVerySmart
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Donna NoShock (@NoShock) July 07, 2015
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Fun Fact in 24 years Bernie Sanders only got 1 bill passed. He Sponsored 236 & Cosponsored 3,928.
—
Carlos Pérez (@CarlosPerezCamp) July 07, 2015
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Best. Toon. Ever. 🙂
On This Day – Pete Souza: “Family dinner is usually private time. But I heard they were having dinner atop their hotel in Moscow, which overlooked the Kremlin. When they first sat down, Sasha was just having some fun with her dad.” July 7, 2009
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11:10: The President meets with Vietnamese Communist Party General Secretary Nguyen Phu Trong
3:45: Meets with Secretary of Defense Carter
6:15: Meets with the Senate Democratic Caucus; State Dining Room
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