Begin The 4th Of July Weekend With Laughter

[if i was president]
"mr president, is it true you thought navy seals were actual seals that can drive a boat"
this press conference is over

— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) May 28, 2015

[undoes GFs bra first time]
"wow have you been practicing?"
don't be ridiculous
[me and dog exchange glances]

— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) May 17, 2015

****

mums always know pic.twitter.com/ndayJWkvOE

— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) May 28, 2015

Sometimes I run alongside trains, tearfully waving, just so people will think I have a girlfriend.

— Mike Bianchi (@Mike_Bianchi) May 23, 2015

****

I burned my hand earlier and now my kid thinks an oven is called a motherfucker.

— gg allin (@tigersgoroooar) September 15, 2012

*guy shows me his Chinese character tattoo*
"It means wisdom"

*I show him a Batman BandAid on my arm*
"It means I was brave at the doctor"

— Brian (OF in bio) (@SortaBad) August 20, 2014

****

"Wow! Go show your mommy!" -what I say to any child talking to me for more than 11 seconds.

— Amber (@amburgklur) September 29, 2011

My favorite scene in ET is where ET makes the kid smell his weird dick finger

— Tam Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) May 27, 2015

****

[starbucks]
barista: name?
guy: [is a secret agent & can't reveal real name so he looks around for ideas] my name is pic.twitter.com/AxLWWzngjq

— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) May 15, 2015

[after a bank heist]
ROBBER 1: drive drive drive
ROBBER 2: dude go
ME: fellas im not moving this car one inch until u put on ur seat belts

— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) May 18, 2015

“I knew I was going to sing… I was just trying to figure out which key”

An amazing conversation with Valerie Jarrett on what has transpired in America over the last two weeks through the eyes of President Obama

***

***

~10:45 Valerie Jarrett‘s response “why is it all on him?”

A conversation with my friend Keith

Part of being a librarian is that you talk. You talk a lot. Much like bartenders and taxi cab drivers, people unburden themselves to you. You become part priest, part counselor, part sounding board.

One of my patrons is a very good man named Keith. I met him years ago when he would come in every weekend and ask how President Obama was doing in the Gallup polling. For several weeks I would perform this task, trying to figure out if he was happy or saddened by his sub-50% numbers. I don’t quite remember how we outed each other, but we discovered that we were kindred souls in our admiration for this president, and have been fast friends since.

He came into the library this week, and as usual, he sat down at the reference desk and we began our kaffeeklatsch, sans the coffee. Our conversations range widely, but politics are always the center of them.

Of course, we were over the moon over the wonderful week we and the President had with ACA and marriage equality. And then the conversation turned to that buffoon, Donald Trump.

“I can’t believe that Trump is doing so well in the polls,” he said.

“I can. He’s the only GOP candidate who’s not hiding his racism. He’s speaking to the GOP program.”

“Oh, now, you don’t really believe that GOP leaders are racist, do you?”

“Of course I do. Look at their utterances.”

“But the intelligentsia is horrified at what Trump is doing.”

“Look Keith, here’s the thing: in their heart of hearts, the ‘smart people’ might be aghast at the naked racism of the base. But, since Nixon, they made the calculation that kowtowing to that racism was the only way they could even hope to stand against the Democrats. And now, after 50 years, they have nothing else. No Republican can win a primary without pandering to that racism. And Democrats won’t let the survivor run away from what he had to do to secure the nomination.”

“They created a monster which is eating them.”

“And I feel no sympathy for them.”

Rise and Shine

On This Day: Residents greet President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama upon their arrival at Fort McNair in Washington, D.C., July 3, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy

****

Today

The President has no public events scheduled.

 Tomorrow

The President and the First Lady will celebrate the Fourth of July by hosting members of the military and their families for an Independence Day celebration with a barbeque, concert and a view of fireworks on the South Lawn. Staff and their families from throughout the Administration will also attend this event for the concert and fireworks viewing. The President will deliver remarks.

****

****

On This Day: President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama talk with Ken Burns as part of an interview for a PBS documentary about Jackie Robinson, in the White House Library, July 3, 2014 (Photo by Lawrence Jackson)

****

MoooOOOooorning!

Early Bird Chat

On This Day: President Barack Obama greets the family of departing staff member Archana Snyder, Council of Economic Advisers, in the Outer Oval Office, July 3, 2014 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

MoooOOOooorning!