[next morning]
BARTENDER: Left it behind again, huh?
ME: yeah
BARTENDER: Second time this week
ME: i know
*Bartender hands over my baby*
—
Dave Ditell sucks!! (@davedittell) February 19, 2015If God is real, how do you explain Delaware
—
Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) February 18, 2015****
[Sees bee on my wife's arm]
Uh oh
[I roll up a newspaper]
Babe.. stay still..
(using newspaper as a megaphone) THERE'S A FUCKING BEE ON YOU
—
picnic (@ruinedpicnic) February 16, 2015Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing "The Real Slim Shady" over and over.
—
Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) October 11, 2013****
Doc: are u sexually active?
Me: idk? define "sexually active"
Doc: uh.. u know.. [nervously looks thru notes] like have u touched the bagina
—
eric (@dubstep4dads) February 17, 2015[spiders pour into room]
THEYRE EVERYWHERE
[group of tap dancers enter] ALRIGHT MEN THIS IS WHAT WEVE TRAINED FOR
—
Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) January 27, 2015****
Cutest ways to die
-Smothered by puppies
-Shot by penguin
-Stabbed by baby
-Run over by panda driving truck
—
Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 17, 2015Why do we call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
—
Michael (@Home_Halfway) February 14, 2015****
Girl: I'LL do ANYTHING to get the job
Boss: yeah?
[nods]
good [hands keys] THERES A BEE IN MY CAR GO KILL IT PLZ I HAVENT BEEN HOME IN WEEKS
—
Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 16, 2015[me narrating a documentary about an octopus]
Look at this fat, wet spider.
—
David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 08, 2015****
You are never alone on Valentine's Day if you're near a lake and have bread.
—
Mike Primavera (@primawesome) February 14, 2015"What's this, an elevator? Nice. And where am I now, a tanning booth or something? Sweet." -slice of bread being toasted
—
Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) August 21, 2014
The Obama Diary 
Good evening NW. Thanks for all you do.
Good evening, RanMan. You’re welcome.
Congratulations on first.
Congrats RanMan and thank you for all your RTs!
Could not agree with you more in thanking our dear NW for ALL she does!!!!
🙂
It matters little to me whether President Obama is a “Christian” or not. That’s not why I voted for him in the first place. And if after 6+ yrs of governing this country and the world, pretty much, that’s all his detractors can come up with (whether or not he’s a “Christian”) to attack him, then it means he’s done a DAMN GOOD JOB AS PRESIDENT.
Just my 2cents….
baddda bing….badda boom!
THE REPUGNANTS PLANTED BAD SEEDS AGAINST THIS PRESIDENT EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING…AND THEY CERTAINLY DIDN’T WANT ANY TRANSPARENCY…THEY’VE BEEN HIDING THEIR FILL IN THE BLANKS WITH ANYTHING FOR YEARS!
SO MANY THINGS HAVE BEEN UNCOVERED SINCE HE BECAME PRESIDENT….IF ONLY THE FOOLS IN THIS COUNTRY WOULD OPEN THEIR EYES………………..BIGOT BLINDNESS!
I’ll raise you 2 more cents on that.
The detractors need a good scandal. Like maybe President Obama will wear a pin-stripe suit with “I HATE YOU JACKALS” embroidered in the stripe. Or “IF YOU’RE CLOSE ENOUGH TO READ THIS, YOU’RE TOO CLOSE.” I think I know where he can get a couple.
LOL.
Paging amk. With his daughter taking the highest honors, Modi is sure to seek her out, and amk can ask Modi to have his tailor ship a couple of suits to President Obama.
“I HATE YOU JACKALS” can be loaned to Josh Earnest. You know he has to go home and want to beat his head against a wall for having to deal with them — in lockstep the networks ask him the same (RWNJ) question of the day — the only difference is in the level of verbal assault hurled at @PressSec.
An example from last week — the placement of the word “random” in an answer from President Obama. When I saw this tweet I thought “what drugs is Chait on to honestly believe this is an EPIC BLUNDER?” JHC, these people get paid for this tunnel vision.
Poor Josh and poor us to have to put up with the jackals! I’m glad you got the Modi suit reference! Ha.
😀 😀 😀
I am with you right there hopefruit2. If they want to flaunt their stupidity, let them.
my only regret…. it did impact the amount of #ILOVEOBAMA tweets which is what I believe sent them over the edge. They wanted to stop the #ILOVEOBAMA hashtag from continuing to trend on twitter.
That hashtag was replaced by the #ObamaLovesAmerica hashtag (initiated by the WH) which is still trending after 3 consecutive days. The detractors are still over the edge…one way or the other..a positive Obama hashtag has been trending for the past 5-6 days….
Funny, Hopef, almost the same time you were writing this I was fiddling around on twitter in a similar vein.
BOOM! RT’d them both 🙂
TY, Hf. GOPs (and some weak leftists) continuously ride on the coattails of this president to garner the type of attention they cannot stir on their own merits. Yet knowing their MO, it’s still hard to ignore them when they grab on – they are so offensive.
^5 !
your 2 cents are golden. that’s all these racists have ever come up since 2006.
They really sad part about all these people who say PBO is not a Christian can’t even get their lazy asses off the couch or spend every Sunday bad mouthing him rather than going to church and read the Bible on what Christ’s really said about being a Christian.
This makes zero sense.
The GOP is retreading ancient, debunked (PBO is both a Muslim and a member of Reverend Wright’s Christian Church?) about someone who will NEVER seek elected office again.
What difference will it make in 2016 whether or not PBO is a Christian? His name will not be on the ballot.
The clown car has become even more unhinged and crazier — didn’t think that was possible.
Thanks a gaaaaaaazillion Nerdy – poor Delaware 😆
You’re welcome, Chiparooooooooo
LOL. Usually, it’s New Jersey. But I guess it’s Delaware’s turn today.
VERY EXCITED ABOUT THE ENERGIZER’S TOWN HALL NEXT WEDNESDAY AND THE TIME FRAME IS SO IMPORTANT…WE NEED ALOT OF THAT EXPOSURE WHEN MOST PEOPLE CAN SEE HIM AND GET TO KNOW HIM….I’M TIRED OF FOX NEWS ALWAYS FEEDING THE PUBLIC WITH TRASH AGAINST THE ENERGIZER.
Sue, America already knows POTUS. This is all just a lot of loud noise signifying nothing.
This latest hullabaloo just makes the GOP look very ignorant, small minded and flat stupid.
The upside, I think this temper tantrum by the GOP gives POTUS a nice boost to get through an agreement with IRAN. The perception…. if Netanyahu AND the GOP is tearing him apart, then POTUS must be a guy they can trust. My guess… this will help move forward the nuclear deal with Iran.
DEAR NOSPIN…ALOT OF AMERICANS HAVE NO IDEA WHO PBO IS…THEY HAVE BURIED THEMSELVES IN FOX FILTH FILLED NEWS….THIS TIME FRAME AND TOWN HALL EXPOSURE WILL BE AWESOME!
QUIET NIGHT TONITE…VILLAGE MEMBERS MUST BE OUT ISLAND HOPPING…SPEAKING OF.I FEEL FOR PBO’S GUEST LIST THIS WEEKEND…NOTHING LIKE A BUNCH OF REPUBLICAN GOVERNORS HANGING OUT AND LITTERING THE LAWN.
JUST THE THOUGHT OF HUCKABEE IN THE HOUSE WOULD BE ENOUGH FOR ME TO WANT TO GREASE THE THROW RUGS! DO THEY HAVE ANY THROW RUGS IN THERE?????…NOT A BAD IDEA EITHER TO CELLOPHANE THE MEN’S DEPOSITORY…A LITTLE SPLASHBACK WOULD BE GOOD FOR THEM…DID I SAY THAT????
what kinda wifey unit sez, “here, take the baby with you to the bar”/smh
The kind who likely had to go to work, and who probably only said, ‘here, take the baby with you’
of course (#excusessmh)
So, are you going to return the favour and send me secret notes on how to post the silent treatment in this ‘new’ WordP era?
the new smh.
How about secret notes on how to use the comment space more ‘creatively’?
nope
nope
nope
Okay. Fine. Be like that. I’m making another black note in my Amk files right now!
HAH! TRUE INDEED!
This is another of one of my Nancy Wilson favorites. This is to all the So/No Californians..
I just so adore this wonderful, classy Lady. Thanks for sharing. (* (* (*
You’re welcome RanMan & congrats on being furst.
bt at work?
PLEASE CONTINUE CONVERSING AND HAVE A WONDERFUL EVENING…I HAVE HAD A GRUMPY IN YOUR FACE DAY…SO I AM GOING TO ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…MAYBE!….:) GOODNIGHT ISLAND HOPPERS!
funny and true. hahahaha
Soooooooooo true
THIS IS VELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY…………..VELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY TRUE INDEED!
TU Yardarm. I never heard this song, I love it. My desk top computer has Wi-Fi and would not let me post more songs.
Nancy is my fav….I got tons of her stuff.
Burnley manager Sean Dyche (on jose’s w(h)ine list)
“Barnes was involved in something earlier in what sense? Playing football? A charge in the back? Is there anything else? The grass was too short?
“I have total respect for Jose Mourinho, his players and Chelsea. Fantastic manager, fantastic club.”
#burn
friggin’ minnows at it again.
afghanistan – 232/10
srilanka – 23/3
Thank you, Nerdy Wonka. I made the mistake of reading while sipping a beverage and ALMOST had a computer catastrophe because you bring the FUNNY, every time. I was a fool. Thankfully, i contained my amusement and averted disaster. These were stellar. You are Stellar. Chipsticks built the retreat center where i come every day to take off the dusty books and lay down the sorrows and laugh, think, learn, catch up, feel connected to people who have goodness and compassion and sense and generosity and humanit and smarts and etc. Thank you for all this. I’ve been swamped and quiet, but I couldn’t survive if I didn’t lurk in on a regular basis. I have to give up on Catching UP, but I catch what I can and it is pure solid gold. Thank you thank you thank you. And stay warm and safe, TOD family!
🙂
Good evening Nancie, I share your sentiments exactly. Thanks for sharing.
All right, men, this is what we’ve trained for!! 😆 😆
What?
The tap dancer tweet above.
Oh. Okay.
Was the governors ball televised on TV or online?
The President’s remarks are live streamed by the White House. That’s all everyone gets to see.
thanks NW…
I missed the FLOTUS on Spanish TV yesterday….i did see a video that the host @SabadoGigante and FLOTUS made to encourage our Latino brothers and sisters to #ReachHigher…i love FLOTUS…
srilankans now at 54-4. They are so screwed.
I don’t care what you say, I’m rooting for the Afghans.
#metoo
Their fast bowler became the 5th or 6th fastest one to get furst 50 wickets.
ICC better rethink its plan of winnowing the minnows in their next edition.
Question: Are you also having an excessive amount of Spanish in your TL these days? Just checking
Oh, lord no.
I don’t get it, but ever since yesterday I’ve been getting an inordinate amount of Spanish tweets. Today it was almost like every second tweet, sometimes up to three in a row, were in Spanish! Oh well. Carry on.
Where do you get all the time to watch these long
boringgames? #isntitwutime🙂 🙂 🙂
😀 Hi, Jojo!
jojo,
Just saw your response to dudette earlier today about making a “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner Sequel” with Sidney Poitier’s son becoming President.
What an inspired idea!
Someone pass this along to Ava Duvernay and Shonda Rhimes — they could collaborate with their network and have the President be Sidney’s granddaughter.
Can you imagine? Would like to see her with a bit of sass, not a moping, dyspeptic one like Nixon (never saw the movie, but lived through his Presidency).
#wurldcup = #holygrailtimes
#wushldsueyou
#unlessofcourseshesgladofthepersonaltime
Nothing to sue for here. #Alreadyhers #everything
#smartw:)
w/s
?
#guess
#guessimheadingtobed
gunnite. don’t let jtp bite.
You think she’d have the energy? I still have that mental picture of her, exhausted after birthing – poor beleaguered soul.
#gtb
#didurushbackfromyourmeal2ordermeoff
#y
the #gtb piece
Anyways, I’m out-a here now. G’Night! 😀
#y = #yes, not #why.
also. too. it’s woutime not wutime. /smh
#nevermind. wrong reading.
`
afghans are bowling their hearts out. wish our overpaid, overpraised friggin bowlers did the same.
#HHHHH
So true – from my granddaughter’s car now to my son’s room way back when (I used to ask him to please just make a path for me to get to the window in case I want to jump out of it after seeing this room, son).
bf time. bbl
#eatsparingly #leavesomeforjtp
the pig was not there. phew.
india – not looking good against south africans. #losers
Nope. At this rate they’ll score 160 runs.
They’ll grift their way into 200 and then lose by 8 wickets. #overratedminions
south african fielding is amazing.
GN, you Obamabots, you! Tomorrow is another day. 🙂
the crowd count for any indian match beats any other country hands down.
indians are nutz.
for minnows, afghans are doing great keeping srilankans on the ropes now.
srilankans finally pull the rabbit thanks mainly to their tailenders.
well played, afghanistan. you’ll get better.
203/2 in 37 @ 5.5 rpo. Go India.
the famed and feared south african bowling attack is doing jacksqaut for them. springboks on a leatherhunt.
will they live up to their well deserved chokers tag?
question is is 300 in the realm?
If we win this thing, this will be our furst ever win over south african in world cups. just.do.it.
90,000 fans in the stadium, most of them indians. #crazy
Rooting for you and your fellow countrymen, amk!
Thanks Bob. We need this win badly after losing all three previous wc matches with them.
#TrustBarack
#ObamaLovesAmerica
good night TOD
Graeme Swann
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
“Good catch by Amla, took it very casually, 85,000 screaming India fans. It’s official 85,000 Indians make a lot more noise than 85,000 Aussies.”
🙂
aaand 300 up. The indians lost the plot in the last 3 overs. 350 was an easy target.
and india folds at 307. useless blighters at the tailend. 30-40 runs short for a sure win. now we depend on our iffy bowling. /smh
Quit picking on your team – so you could do better?
these blighters are paid millions to play for the country and so yes, they are worthy of being picked upon. ffs, play like the champions you are. well set platform by the top order and the captain downwards fuck it up in the end.
And they won by the proverbial mile – so they earned their pay
not good enough. when they retain the title, then yes.
Ninad Malegaonkar: Looking at the Indian support at The G, let’s rename MCG as Mumbai Cricket Ground.
61-2 in 15. Two more wickets before they get to 100, south africans will be well on their way to retain their chokers moniker
153-7 in 34. south africans are so screwed now. who said third time is the charm? It’s the fourth time.
158-8 in 36. come on springboks, put up some fight ferchrissake.
161-9 now. tsk, tsk, tsk. #chokers.
hey sa’ins. stay calm and …. choke.
Aaaand it’s a done deal. 177/10
oh but, they have the
best batsmen – bull
fearsome bowlers – bull
awesome fielders – bull
CHOKERS.
Our furst win over them.
So all that nonsense about the team not doing well enough was unwarranted. A good win
Update on Iran:
Moooooooooorning!
http://theobamadiary.com/2015/02/22/early-bird-chat-481/