Every Saturday Needs Laughter

[next morning] BARTENDER: Left it behind again, huh? ME: yeah BARTENDER: Second time this week ME: i know *Bartender hands over my baby*

—
Dave Ditell sucks!! (@davedittell) February 19, 2015

If God is real, how do you explain Delaware

—
Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) February 18, 2015

****

[Sees bee on my wife's arm] Uh oh [I roll up a newspaper] Babe.. stay still.. (using newspaper as a megaphone) THERE'S A FUCKING BEE ON YOU

—
picnic (@ruinedpicnic) February 16, 2015

Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing "The Real Slim Shady" over and over.

—
Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) October 11, 2013

****

Doc: are u sexually active? Me: idk? define "sexually active" Doc: uh.. u know.. [nervously looks thru notes] like have u touched the bagina

—
eric (@dubstep4dads) February 17, 2015

[spiders pour into room] THEYRE EVERYWHERE [group of tap dancers enter] ALRIGHT MEN THIS IS WHAT WEVE TRAINED FOR

—
Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) January 27, 2015

****

Cutest ways to die -Smothered by puppies -Shot by penguin -Stabbed by baby -Run over by panda driving truck

—
Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 17, 2015

Why do we call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"

—
Michael (@Home_Halfway) February 14, 2015

****

Girl: I'LL do ANYTHING to get the job Boss: yeah? [nods] good [hands keys] THERES A BEE IN MY CAR GO KILL IT PLZ I HAVENT BEEN HOME IN WEEKS

—
Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 16, 2015

[me narrating a documentary about an octopus] Look at this fat, wet spider.

—
David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 08, 2015

****

You are never alone on Valentine's Day if you're near a lake and have bread.

—
Mike Primavera (@primawesome) February 14, 2015

"What's this, an elevator? Nice. And where am I now, a tanning booth or something? Sweet." -slice of bread being toasted

—
Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) August 21, 2014

The Evolving Legacy Of Malcolm X

****

Krissah Thompson: 50 Years After His Death, Malcolm X’s Work Is Unfinished

After a life filled with transformation, Malcolm X found himself in February 1965 in the throes of yet another. He had been a fringe figure, known mostly to a small circle of black Muslims and big-city sophisticates, but now he was branching out — seeking allies at home and abroad to help him become a part of the Southern civil rights movement. He had plans to take the cause to the United Nations, charging the U.S. government with failure to protect its black citizens from racist white terrorism. 50 years after he was gunned down by an assassin in Harlem’s Audubon Ballroom, Malcolm X is getting another look. His issues — particularly those that occupied the last year of his life — and his tactics speak to the current conversation.

Police brutality? Malcolm would have been on point amid the protests in Ferguson, Mo., and Staten Island. “Whenever something happens, 20 police cars swarm on one neighborhood,” Malcolm told an interviewer during his crusade against anti-crime bills. “This force . . . creates a spirit of resentment in every Negro. They think they are living in a police state and they become hostile toward the policeman.” Voting rights? Once again in the spotlight, as activists challenge photo ID laws that they say hinder minority voters, and definitely a preoccupation for Malcolm. “When white people are evenly divided, and black people have a bloc of votes of their own, it is left up to them to determine who’s going to sit in the White House and who’s going to be in the doghouse,” he said in 1964.

More here

****

****

Ebony: Malcolm Taught Me: Reflections on X

As people across the world commemorate the 50th anniversary of the assassination of Malcolm X, EBONY asked some of our favorite thought leaders to reflect on how “our Black shining prince” impacted their worldview, cultural identity and work: “He taught me what it meant to publicly be a work in progress, to publicly admit when you were wrong, all in a lifelong effort to be the best person he could be for his people, his family, and himself. I take him with me everywhere I go.“-Rembert Browne, writer. “I remember the first time I heard Brother Malcolm’s speech when he asked, “Who taught you to hate yourself?” I was 15. For me, there was a healing in his truth-telling. His words gave me permission to always call it as I see it. And without apology. “-Yaba Blay, scholar/author

“As a Black man, Malcolm X was one of my first glimpses into what it meant to be proud of your Blackness on your terms; as a storyteller, his book taught me the value in honesty and owning your truth, no matter how messy it might look in the rear view mirror.”-Michael Arceneaux, writer. “The more I learned the truth about Malcolm X, the more I began to love myself. His unwavering courage is how I attempt to show up in the world and in my work.” -Wade Davis, former NFL player/Executive Director, You Can Play Project. “Malcolm wasn’t perfect, but he strived to be, and do, better—to be his best possible self for his people. That is the true worth of a freedom fighter.” -Jason Parham, writer/editor. “Malcolm X’s life taught me that being angry about injustice is an opportunity to use my voice to speak out and use my gifts to spark change.”-Ebonie Johnson Cooper, philanthropist

More here

****

“Malcolm died advocating for teenaged, single Black mothers. He died for not remaining silent about the abuse of Black girls.” -dream hampton, writer/activist/educator

****

Malcolm X was assassinated 50 years ago today. Read @Krissah30 on his (still-changing) legacy wapo.st/1vksW8G http://t.co/uX8z173udt

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

This is the telegram MLK sent Malcolm X's wife after her husband's assassination vox.com/2015/2/21/8078… http://t.co/9iZ4aJOWEq

—
deray mckesson (@deray) February 21, 2015

****

Modern consciousness casts Malcolm as MLK foil, as a series of catchphrases. He was much more wapo.st/1vksW8G http://t.co/FjrVPIKcWM

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

Here's the NYT article from paper the morning after "bearded extremist" Malcolm X was assassinated partners.nytimes.com/library/nation…

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

****

****

@WesleyLowery my favorite was “two other negroes.”

—
Bomani Jones (@bomani_jones) February 21, 2015

@bomani_jones I'm torn between being impressed about how many inches they wrote with my disdain for their "open and shut case" attitude

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

****

"Malcolm, a slim, reddish-haired six-footer with a gift for bitter eloquence against what he considered white exploitation of Negroes"

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

So basically, the day after Malcolm is killed the NYT writes: "he was an angry black man who could talk good"

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

****

****

Here's @washingtonpost front page from day after Malcolm X killed. Carried @AP story (ht @masumaahuja) http://t.co/s0wBBXURnj

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

WaPo's staff-written obit for "articulate, able and dynamic orator..." Malcolm X ran on A3 http://t.co/i6WBt9xL5k

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

****

Striking here is that obit keeps referring to the Nation of Islam as a "black Muslim cult."

—
Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) February 21, 2015

@WesleyLowery not to mention the degrading trope of referring to an African American man as 'articulate'

—
Mateo Sewillo (@mateosewillo) February 21, 2015

****

On the anniversary of his death, EBONY asks "What has Malcolm X taught YOU?" #MalcolmTaughtMe bit.ly/1DAL4hu http://t.co/AciR0KwLEE

—
EBONY (@EBONYMag) February 21, 2015

Having my son march beside me as we affirm that #BlackLivesMatter means the world to me! #Malcolm50 http://t.co/oug52OBfaU

—
Doug Moore (@DMooreUDW) February 21, 2015

****

I wouldn't have been anywhere near as informed about institutional and structural racism as a 15 year old without him. #MalcolmTaughtMe

—
melanincholy (@riotersbloc) February 21, 2015

"I'm a human being, first and foremost, and as such I'm for whatever benefits humanity as a whole." #MalcolmTaughtMe http://t.co/gJYxRLzIxE

—
Christopher Peach (@MinouNoireLover) February 21, 2015

****

NEVER bite your tongue, even in the company of those who oppose you #MalcolmTaughtMe

—
Damani McNeil (@dmalcolm_) February 21, 2015

This picture is among my most valued possessions. #MalcolmTaughtMe @MuhammadAli and others self respect, principle. http://t.co/HBODQ44guo

—
Len Elmore (@LenElmore) February 21, 2015

****

RIP brother Malcolm. Your legacy lives on. Love this message. #Malcolm50 #MalcolmTaughtMe http://t.co/hnolHyiYUH

—
Harry Shotton (@HarryShotton) February 21, 2015

"You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it." #MalcolmTaughtMe

—
rula ☪ رولا (@jnoubiye_) February 21, 2015

****

@EBONYMag #MalcolmTaughtMe my TRUE history, and to love myself, and to love my people.

—
M. Washington (@meagfw) February 20, 2015

#MalcolmTaughtMe that being proud of who I am and committed to justice is a daily choice we all can make.

—
Nicole Lee (@nicoleclee) February 21, 2015

Chat Away

Five things:

(1) My boys need to sign this fella – look at his ball control.

(2) Anyone who mentions (proper) football will have to eat one my pasta dishes.

(3) Burnley. So, zip it.

(4) Back in a bit, food time.

(5) Chat away.

Bill O’Reilly’s Brian Williams moment, in a few tweets

Bill O is getting much derision for his "Brian Williams Moment on Speed". As well he should. But here's the thing-Nothing will happen to him

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

Bill O being a fabulist is a feature, not a bug. That's the trait Fox loves about him, his ability to dupe the rubes.

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

There could be wall to wall coverage of his "combat experience" lies, and Ailes will just give him a raise.

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

He'll be a martyr to the librul media, and be even more believed by the idiots who watch Fox.

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

So if you think this will bring him down, then, I'm sorry to say, you haven't been paying attention.

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

Fox doesn't care about credibility; it cares about influence. And Bill O brings that.

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

I'll be gleeful to be proven wrong, but I don't think I will be.

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

I mean, Fox bears no relation to the "sky is blue" world we inhabit. And yet its WH journo sits in the front row. Bill O will thrive.

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

So, yes, we can laugh at Bill O. But he'll be on the teevee box every night until the Apocalypse.

—
Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) February 21, 2015

 

 

Rise and Shine

On This Day: President Obama joins in singing “Sweet Home Chicago” during the “In Performance at the White House: Red, White and Blues” concert in the East Room of the White House, Feb. 21, 2012 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

****

On This Day

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama cheer during their daughter Sasha Obama’s basketball game, Feb. 21, 2009 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama smile as they walk through the crowd at the Governors Ball in the State Dining Room of the White House, Feb. 21, 2010 (Photo by Pete Souza)

Pete Souza: “The President and First Lady were dancing along to the music of the Harry Connick, Jr., Big Band at the Governors Ball. Mrs. Obama turned towards me and, for one split second, looked right at me. Usually I strive to capture moments when the subjects are unaware of the camera. But this an exception where I actually liked that she was looking at me.” Feb. 21, 2010

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama applaud the performance of Harry Connick Jr. and the Big Band during the Governors Ball in the East Room of the White House, Feb. 21, 2010 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

President Obama gestures during a meeting in the Oval Office, Feb. 21, 2011 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

President Obama reads a document in the Oval Office, Feb. 21, 2012 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama and VP Biden following remarks on the extension of the payroll tax cut and unemployment insurance, Feb 21 2012

Mick Jagger performs “I Can’t Turn You Loose” during the “In Performance at the White House: Red, White and Blues” concert in the East Room of the White House, Feb. 21, 2012 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

President Obama meets with the Dalai Lama in the Map Room of the White House, Feb. 21, 2014 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden participate in a “Let’s Move!” video taping on the Colonnade of the White House, Feb. 21, 2014 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

MoooOOOooorning!

Early Bird Chat

On This Day: President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama dance together during the Governors Ball in the East Room of the White House, Feb. 21, 2010 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

MoooOOOooorning!