LOL Tuesday Away

Obama: What are you doing?

Biden: Oh nm just wearin shades eatin ice cream and flashin fat cash

Obama: Huh?

Biden: pic.twitter.com/Y9Ygv0PH6N

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) January 12, 2015

Obama: I'd like to sit alone, Joe.

Biden: IMMA SIT BY YOU

Obama: There's plenty of other seats.

Biden: pic.twitter.com/zayDEDDdkH

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 6, 2015

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THIS IS THE COPS, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP

"No"

WE WON'T ASK AGAIN

"No"

Ok guys, let's go. We can't ask again

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 5, 2015

"Let's create a phrase that will be used to console people"

-here, here?

"That makes no sense!"

-there, there?

"Omfg it's genius"

— steve suckington (@SteveSuckington) February 6, 2015

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https://twitter.com/SatansTongue/status/563089058084421634

https://twitter.com/phaggots/status/562806675401629696

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https://twitter.com/somelightcrying/status/562713311729700864

[zoo]
Dad, what's that sheep doing behind that other sheep?

[nervously] well son, they're making a sweater.

So that's knitting?

Yes, son.

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 6, 2015

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"Can I pet your dog?"

Sure, his bark's worse than his bite

[dog bites three fingers off]

"WHAT THE"

[dog barks so hard the sun explodes]

— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) January 13, 2015

https://twitter.com/trentistweeting/status/542051031882809344

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when ur team loses the Super Bowl pic.twitter.com/uhLhZ5fzSO

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 2, 2015

How's my foot, Doc?

"Bad news, Mr. Smith. According to these tests, you have athlete's foot."

*foot starts thanking God and giving 110%*

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) January 29, 2015

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"Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today."
Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!"
[whispers]"Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."

— Katie Orr (@IAmKatieOrr) July 27, 2014

me: haha im such a mess. i'm like a bull in a china shop!

bull: [in a china shop, stocking shelves] fuck you dude i work here

— dubstep4dads (@dubstep4dads) February 5, 2015

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Cop: Know why I stopped you, Jesus?

You want a fish?
*hands him fish*

For speeding-

*Cop is suddenly holding 748 fish & Jesus speeds off*

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) January 24, 2015

[last supper]
Jesus: Take this wine & drink of it. It is my blood.

"Gross."

What was that, Judas??

"I said a toast! To yummy blood wine!"

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) January 25, 2015

A Tweet Or Two

"Kayla represents what is best about America, and expressed her deep pride in the freedoms that we...enjoy." —Obama pic.twitter.com/bqnFABLJcn

— White House Archived (@ObamaWhiteHouse) February 10, 2015

Deeply moved by the life of Kayla Mueller. Our nation is stronger than any enemy can understand. –vp

— VP Biden (Archived) (@VP44) February 10, 2015

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Obama On Kayla Mueller: Not Paying Ransom “Is As Tough As Anything I Do” http://t.co/q63v2XmcP2 pic.twitter.com/n5xyeVCeBH

— BuzzFeed News (@BuzzFeedNews) February 10, 2015

Kayla’s humanity, generosity, idealism will endure long after barbarity of #ISIL is defeated. Praying for Carl, Marsha, Eric, family.

— John Kerry (@JohnKerry) February 10, 2015

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Eight years ago today: Senator Obama formally announces candidacy for President http://t.co/0hbslpcNds pic.twitter.com/8CvLrx2ztD

— CSPAN (@cspan) February 10, 2015

8 years ago today. #nostalgia #springfield @pfeiffer44 @jonfavs @TVietor08 @davidplouffe @davidaxelrod @julsmoot pic.twitter.com/e1gVsiuoe0

— alyssa mastromonaco (@AlyssaMastro44) February 10, 2015

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We need to break down barriers to success for Native youth. They are the future leaders of Indian Country & beyond.SJ pic.twitter.com/7hfIR3P9M2

— Sally Jewell (@SecretaryJewell) February 10, 2015

https://twitter.com/NerdyWonka/status/565142954818301954

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https://twitter.com/Cooking_Light/status/565148508538540033

.@letsmove is FIVE! Read about how much has been accomplished in this @FLOTUS interview in @Cooking_Light! http://t.co/jvEP5rnfr3

— FoodCorps (@FoodCorps) February 9, 2015

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The History of 73 Years of Lynching (1877-1950) via @eji_org. http://t.co/STLHab9MIy pic.twitter.com/tsiquheC3B

— deray (@deray) February 10, 2015

The History of Lynching in America http://t.co/q8RNoIT545

— Wendell Pierce (@WendellPierce) February 10, 2015

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One day you'll acknowledge the skeletons hanging in your own closets and stop wagging your fingers at the South, Yankee.

— Your Tiny Journalist Friend. (@thewayoftheid) February 10, 2015

Talking about lynchings or marking where they occurred absent white accountability is just more senseless consumption of black pain.

— 🤌🏾 Imani Gandy 👆🏾 (@AngryBlackLady) February 10, 2015

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JUST IN: Grand jury indicts NYPD officer over shooting death of Akai Gurley in stairwell of a Brooklyn housing project - @AaronKatersky

— ABC News (@ABC) February 10, 2015

Black girls are suspended from school *six times* more often than white girls http://t.co/yh65QjsT8S

— Salon (@Salon) February 10, 2015

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#BREAKING Obama calls Putin to discuss violence, Russian actions in Ukraine

— AFP News Agency (@AFP) February 10, 2015

U.S. official in Washington confirms American embassy in Yemen is closing.

— Reuters (@Reuters) February 10, 2015

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Readout of President Obama's call with President #Putin of #Russia http://t.co/i95FLnPoFE #Ukraine

— Obama NSC- Archived (@NSC44) February 10, 2015

Readout of President Obama's call with President #Poroshenko of #Ukraine http://t.co/IqbYnbPUuG

— Obama NSC- Archived (@NSC44) February 10, 2015

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See, TV head honchos? When you have great representative story telling that reflects the diversity of our world today, you get HUGE ratings

Fox’s #Empire breaks 23-year ratings record http://t.co/YsyEvZbtxs pic.twitter.com/bGZauz2sef

— The Root (@TheRoot) February 9, 2015

a v important list of #blackhistorymonth baes, courtesy of @fanaticalscribe http://t.co/MNEpGyVQY4 pic.twitter.com/AMcSMf6MCe

— tracy clayton jr the 3rd (@brokeymcpoverty) February 9, 2015

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America's largest health care company tells SCOTUS that anti-Obamacare argument is "absurd" http://t.co/PqvzKPFajN pic.twitter.com/kh4KI42dBY

— Mother Jones (@MotherJones) February 10, 2015

Sierra Leone to prosecute fraudulent Ebola "ghostworkers" http://t.co/d2Ttnd6F0R

— Reuters Health (@Reuters_Health) February 10, 2015

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Why Do We Remember Charlie Hebdo But Ignore The 2,000 Dead In Nigeria? @TPM http://t.co/1RJAigUsQZ

— Ragnarok Lobster (@eclecticbrotha) February 10, 2015

https://twitter.com/scATX/status/565183902927446017

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Harrowing, riveting new study of history of lynching finds total of 3959 cases, 700 more than previous studies http://t.co/htz6ebNTu6

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) February 10, 2015

Mapping 73 years of lynchings http://t.co/c9HWyiuI8C pic.twitter.com/CyBvswUOXs

— The New York Times (@nytimes) February 10, 2015

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BREAKING: Obama to withdraw most US military troops fighting Ebola outbreak in West Africa.

— The Associated Press (@AP) February 11, 2015

Breaking: Brian Williams suspended for six months without pay, according to an NBC source.

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) February 11, 2015

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Brian Schatz is the latest senator to boycott Netanyahu's speech http://t.co/Pdbcnpq5TG

— Talking Points Memo (@TPM) February 10, 2015

Sen. Patrick Leahy will not attend the "politicized" Netanyahu speech to Congress http://t.co/pxfciyLIdq

— Talking Points Memo (@TPM) February 10, 2015

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David Axelrod: Race Plays an 'Undeniable' Role in Obama Criticism http://t.co/soVrZNhkj1 (AUDIO) pic.twitter.com/vioigJJggk

— Mediaite (@Mediaite) February 10, 2015

It's actually quite simple: Obama was just playing the politics of same-sex marriage. http://t.co/i0Rg3VhUIp pic.twitter.com/q1MAmLJ22u

— The American Prospect (@TheProspect) February 10, 2015

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Paul Waldman: On Obama’s ‘Evolution’ On Same-Sex Marriage

In Obama adviser David Axelrod’s new book, he reveals that in 2008 the future president did indeed believe in marriage equality, but he was persuaded by Axelrod and others that it would be too risky to say publicly. So he took the standard Democratic position at the time, in favor of civil unions but against marriage rights. I imagine that exactly no one is surprised by this. And while it isn’t an excuse for deception, the decision should be understood in the context of that historical moment, The context of Obama’s falsehood is important to understand—both his own thinking and the reception his statements on the matter received.

https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/565307473343832064

In 2008, the Democratic Party was undergoing a rapid change in its approach to same-sex marriage, and the stated positions of almost every candidate were in flux. Four years before, when the issue exploded into national debate after the Massachusetts Supreme Court legalized marriage equality (their ruling actually came down in late 2003),  Most of the presidential contenders came down in support of civil unions but against marriage rights, a position that just happened to be where the median voter was. By 2008, everyone seemed to understand that the position all the major Democratic candidates were taking was a temporary way-station on the path to an eventual embrace of full marriage equality. Nobody really believed that was where the party and its representatives were going to stay.

More here

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#Senate Sen. Harry Reid to undergo additional surgery on right eye http://t.co/gbkZ477Ps8 @SenatorReid

— QuorumCall (@QuorumCall) February 10, 2015

Obama is about to send his war powers request to Congress — by @AP http://t.co/NoC8HdneXB

— Insider Business (@BusinessInsider) February 10, 2015

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https://twitter.com/JeffreyGoldberg/status/564218351229370368

This is #Jordan rally against #ISIS today. Via @jenn_ruth pic.twitter.com/ltv9u31lye

— Joyce Karam (@Joyce_Karam) February 6, 2015

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#AdviceForYoungJournalists These are lackeys, not role models pic.twitter.com/Oja2bqakYP

— Subscribe to Unprecedented on Ghost - no paywall! (@TheDailyEdge) February 10, 2015

Bobby Jindal: "we have transformed our health care system"

Louisiana has one of the highest percentages of uninsured adult residents.

— igorvolsky (@igorvolsky) February 10, 2015

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One of the first hires in Gov. Bruce Rauner's administration is the sister of a top aide http://t.co/AJCIrl9u8a pic.twitter.com/GSXYEvTSz1

— Chicago Tribune (@chicagotribune) February 10, 2015

Do your friends share your political views? In US, 63% of consistent conservatives, 49% of liberals say they do pic.twitter.com/DbgSJ4S7eN

— Alec Tyson (@alec_h_tyson) February 10, 2015

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Oklahoma is considering gassing death row inmates http://t.co/9b91S4Fk0R pic.twitter.com/rYye6LMWU9

— Insider Business (@BusinessInsider) February 10, 2015

Newsweek's Twitter account briefly hacked, threatens Obama family http://t.co/GmqiJFL7rv pic.twitter.com/QID13O1U3X

— The Verge (@verge) February 10, 2015

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Hello.

You live in a world where it's necessary to publish this story http://t.co/wyoVor53Nc pic.twitter.com/RbYQrgLEjp

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 9, 2015

A Map Of Clinics That Welcome Anti-Vaxxers -- it matches locations of measles cases http://t.co/5u0Ad7XkSu http://t.co/8uK87lWChJ

— USA TODAY Health (@USATODAYhealth) February 9, 2015

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https://twitter.com/Karnythia/status/564557686382292992

Student newspaper staff at @NCCU, 1954. #HistoricPOC http://t.co/7EJA1deboS pic.twitter.com/3SVyquCMB8

— DigitalNC (@ncdhc) February 9, 2015

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WH counsel Neil Eggleston is hitting Senate Dems' lunch today, per Dem official. Day before WH expected to unveil AUMF language.

— Jennifer Bendery (@jbendery) February 10, 2015

Obama's Treasury secretary says his economic critics have been "proven wrong" http://t.co/o8AnMwBbju

— The Hill (@thehill) February 9, 2015

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David King, the lead plaintiff in the anti-Obamacare case, represents every thing wrong with modern US conservatism. pic.twitter.com/TAvZFj7Ef8

— Danielle Blake 🇺🇦 (@abradacabla) February 9, 2015

On health-care prices, Obama goes where Obamacare doesn't http://t.co/bee6cxRaHU pic.twitter.com/uJ7WVxcBF0

— Vox (@voxdotcom) February 9, 2015

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https://twitter.com/jwdalton/status/564077475916177409

Aaron Schock hit wiv anothr ethics complaint ths time 4 Peoria-area home http://t.co/4LvXdG7pbu #AaronSchock #AliBahaj #CREW #WashingtonPost

— Cgo SunTimes Redneck (@ChicagaSunTimes) February 9, 2015

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Smart home security devices fail even basic password practices, HP says http://t.co/P8NyQqv1YO pic.twitter.com/xMbzfDKz0x

— NBC News (@NBCNews) February 10, 2015

https://twitter.com/YahooTech/status/565197270732533760

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BREAKING: Jon Stewart Is Leaving “The Daily Show” http://t.co/BcGMLE95ya pic.twitter.com/UZY2ljz0FM

— BuzzFeed News (@BuzzFeedNews) February 10, 2015

From @ComedyCentral: Thank you Jon pic.twitter.com/UZY2ljz0FM

— BuzzFeed News (@BuzzFeedNews) February 10, 2015

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https://twitter.com/Cooking_Light/status/564944547365781504

https://twitter.com/Cooking_Light/status/565231489101864962

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.@OFA 8 yrs ago today, on an icy day in Springfield, @BarackObama announced his long shot candidacy for POTUS. Great day! Historic journey.

— David Axelrod (@davidaxelrod) February 10, 2015

I am admittedly a little nostalgic this week, but 8 yrs ago today on a freezing morning, Barack Obama began the journey to the White House

— J. Goldman -Archived (@Goldman44) February 10, 2015

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Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 14, 2014

https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/560534666956914689

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https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/553755691618668544

There's no vaccine against stupid.

— God (Not a Parody, Actually God) (@TheTweetOfGod) February 3, 2015

More Jobs? Thanks, President Obama

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Josh Zumbrun: Job Openings At 14-Year High As Hiring Returns To Pre-Recession Levels

For the first time since January 2001, the U.S. had more than five million job openings at the end of December, a sign of a labor environment shifting in favor of workers. December was also the best month for hiring since before the recession struck more than seven years ago. More than 5.1 million people were hired in December, the most since November 2007, according to the Labor Department‘s Job Openings and Labor Turnover Survey, known as JOLTS.

The report adds to signs that the labor market is strengthening considerably. The Labor Department’s main jobs report, released on February 6, showed that November, December and January comprised the best three-month stretch of hiring since 1997, raising hope that the U.S economy will start delivering stronger wage growth for a wider swath of Americans after more than five years of sluggish recovery from a deep recession.

More here

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Job openings are at a 14-year high as hiring returns to pre-recession levels http://t.co/nNmIBsez4y pic.twitter.com/mUNJ7glTG1

— Real Time Economics (@WSJecon) February 10, 2015

Chat Away

Rise and Shine

On This Day: On board a plane flying to Iowa after Barack Obama announced his bid for the Presidency in Springfield, 2007

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Today (all times Eastern)

12:30: White House Press Briefing

4:0: The President meets with the Congressional Black Caucus, Cabinet Room

* The President is interviewed by Buzzfeed

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11:20 EST: The First Lady Surprises White House Tours in Honor of the Opening of the Old Family Dining Room

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President Obama on Dean Smith’s legacy:

Huuuuuuge thanks to LP

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On This Day

Senator Barack Obama announces his bid for the Presidency, Springfield, Feb 10, 2007 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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President Obama looks out over the snow covered Rose Garden of the White House from the Oval Office, Feb. 10, 2010 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama and House Republican Leader John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) gesture while Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Cal.) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) look on during a meeting of bipartisan leaders of the House and Senate to discuss working together on issues surrounding the economy and jobs in the Cabinet Room of the White House, Feb. 10, 2010 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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First Lady Michelle Obama strikes the Heisman pose while greeting Dallas Cowboys football players, from left, Miles Austin, DeMarcus Ware, and Felix Jones at the Kleberg Rylie Recreation Center in Dallas, Texas, Feb. 10, 2012. The players joined Mrs. Obama and chefs from past seasons of “Top Chef” for the “Schools and Chefs Working Together” cooking competition to help promote the “Let’s Move!” initiative (Photo by Chuck Kennedy)

President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden talk with former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and her husband, Mark Kelly, after the President signed H.R. 3801, the Ultralight Aircraft Smuggling Prevention Act of 2012, in the Oval Office, Feb. 10, 2012. The bill was the last piece of legislation that Giffords sponsored and voted on in the U.S. House of Representatives (Photo by Pete Souza)

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Obama family pets Bo, left, and Sunny sit at a table in the State Dining Room of the White House, Feb. 10, 2014. The table settings will be used at the State Dinner for President François Hollande of France (Photo by Lawrence Jackson)

President Obama and President François Hollande of France travel aboard Air Force One en route to Charlottesville, Va., Feb. 10, 2014 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama and President François Hollande of France tour Monticello with Leslie Bowman, President of the Thomas Jefferson Foundation, in Charlottesville, Virginia, Feb. 10, 2014 (Photo by Chuck Kennedy)

President Obama signs the guest book following a tour of Monticello with President François Hollande of France in Charlottesville, Va., Feb. 10, 2014 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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MoooOOOooorning!

Early Bird Chat

On This Day: Bo plays in the snow during a blizzard on the south grounds of the White House, Feb. 10, 2010 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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MoooOOOooorning!

(I may or may not have slept in 😕 )