Giggle The Day Away

*announcer voice* THIS IS JEOPARDY! *I raise my hand* Alex? "Yes?" I peed my pants "What in the-" Oh sorry. What is I peed my pants?

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Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) January 22, 2015

[wife looking at sketch of donut burglar on the news] "he looks like you" [me holding huge glass of milk on way to basement] it's not though

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Brent (@murrman5) January 20, 2015

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Scientist: how can we make condoms better, more enjoyable and efficient? Frog: rib it Scientist: someone get that fucking frog out of here

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eric (@dubstep4dads) January 16, 2015

My mom ❤ I have no idea where she found this, but I photoshopped it years ago. I don't have the heart to tell her. http://t.co/K9uHu59XNS

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Whalesmells (@whalesmells) January 12, 2015

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[Air Force One lands in Japan, everyone falls to their knees & worships] Obama: Wtf?? Biden: I'm really good at Yu-Gi-Oh

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Brian Gaar (@briangaar) January 17, 2015

"Dude, you can come out with us only if you promise NO knitting" "Ok deal" [Later in the club] "IMMA MAKE YOU A SCARF"

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Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) January 19, 2015

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"Sir do u know why I pulled you over?" "Because you want to take me to dinner officer?" "No, god no...well, unless you want to?" [Giggles]

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Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) January 21, 2015

My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go

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Matt Shirley (@mattsurely) January 05, 2015

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me: you can lead a horse to water, but that doesn't make him a seahorse! haha zookeeper: sir please stop my horse is drowning

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eric (@dubstep4dads) January 11, 2015

[Dog talking to his psychiatrist] "Honestly? I don't even know who's a good boy anymore"

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Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) January 08, 2015

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Best sex position? What you wanna do is get on your knees, spread ur legs for comfort, open the bible and read that til you're married.

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Dan Polish Last Name (@danjan13) November 09, 2013

WITNESS: The bad guy is getting away! *pigeon cop poops on the suspect's car* PIGEON COP: Don't worry, I put a tracking device on the car

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Pigeon Cop (@PigeonCop) December 04, 2014

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*calls grandpa* "hello?" hey I was wo- "what?" i was wond- "speak up" i was wonderi- "owned ha ha this is my voicemail leave it at the tone"

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george w kush (@yungshoelace) December 11, 2014

[Bird crashes into my office window] Me: oh thats sad I hope its okay Bird: I AM TRYING TO DIE PLEASE HELP THIS IS SO HARD WE DONT HAVE GUNS

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eric (@dubstep4dads) December 11, 2014

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You aren’t considered a real clown until you’ve been dragged out of a child’s birthday screaming “I’ll see you all in hell.”

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Brian Gaar (@briangaar) January 27, 2015

when the state of the union address is straight fire pic.twitter.com/3s51a3EGSr

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george w kush (@yungshoelace) January 21, 2015

A Tweet Or Two

6 years ago, the first bill POTUS signed was the #LillyLedbetter Act. Because when #womensucceed, America succeeds. http://t.co/IXMsMAtG7v

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Valerie Jarrett (@vj44) January 29, 2015

6 years ago today, on January 29, 2009, the Lilly Ledbetter #EqualPay Act became the very first act signed into law by President Obama.

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Voter Participation (@VoterCenter) January 29, 2015

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Wow. US to spend $600B less on health care this decade than @USCBO thought in 2010. Despite huge coverage expansion. offthechartsblog.org/projected-heal…

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Michael Grunwald (@MikeGrunwald) January 28, 2015

Here's brief from 15 states arguing anti-ACA lawsuit is BS: washingtonpost.com/r/2010-2019/Wa… GOP state officials agree: washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-lin…

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Greg Sargent (@ThePlumLineGS) January 29, 2015

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North Carolina man declared innocent after serving almost 40 years for a double murder to.pbs.org/1wv9BeQ http://t.co/ayw4U2iCo1

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  (@NewsHour) January 26, 2015

3 1/2 Minutes’ Film at Sundance: How Gun Culture, Fear and Racial Bias Killed Jordan Davis every.tw/1v5PPwT http://t.co/CVaaBGGTbd

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  (@Everytown) January 29, 2015

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One more reason why everyone should be watching a Shonda Rhimes show. She has GREAT shows that include diverse faces, voices, and stories front and center. TGIT is back tonight!

Only 3 women of color have won Best Actor (TV Drama) & all 3 hail from Shondaland buzzfeed.com/jarettwieselma… #SAGAwards http://t.co/uhYPyhFsQI

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Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) January 26, 2015

@violadavis inspiring artists everywhere to ask to be in the stories. She is a real woman. What a treasure huff.to/1Jrhfjr 👏👏👏

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Jessica Chastain (@jes_chastain) January 26, 2015

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That Marshawn is incredibly disrespectful. I'm starting to get why the media hates him [ nfl.com/news/story/0ap…] http://t.co/CJwxNDkfih

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Jose Rivera (@Jose8BS) January 29, 2015

Every man who complains about the new Ghostbusters should donate money to a kid whose childhood is actually being ruined by something real.

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Rita Meade (@ScrewyDecimal) January 29, 2015

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What do states gain by expanding Medicaid? @urbaninstitute reviews impact on budget, uninsured, and hospitals: urban.org/UploadedPDF/41…

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Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) January 27, 2015

Measles Outbreak Has Arizona Tracking 1,000 Who Might Have Been Exposed nyti.ms/1A3sXzb

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The New York Times (@nytimes) January 29, 2015

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Breaking: #Saudi Royal Decree dismisses Prince Bandar Bin Sultan from his post as head of National Security Council !

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Fahad Nazer (@fanazer) January 29, 2015

#Saudi King Salman follows up Royal Decrees with Tweet to Saudis from his official account saying "you deserve more" twitter.com/KingSalman/sta…

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Fahad Nazer (@fanazer) January 29, 2015

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#DRCongo announces start of mil ops against FDLR with @MONUSCO. Long overdue and must be followed by sustained action.

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Samantha Power (@AmbassadorPower) January 29, 2015

Operations v. FDLR must ensure protection of civilians, minimize civilian impact & track with UN human rights due diligence policy.

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Samantha Power (@AmbassadorPower) January 29, 2015

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#KingSalman relieves governor of Makkah Prince Mishaal bin Abdullah from his post ara.tv/mhvgt

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Al Arabiya English (@AlArabiya_Eng) January 29, 2015

Blumenauer calls on Boehner to cancel Netanyahu's address to Congress huff.to/15Z9nrk http://t.co/PBtDf4hfOD

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HuffPost Politics (@HuffPostPol) January 29, 2015

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Michelle Obama’s modern, floral-print look in India: vogue.cm/1tveda9

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Vogue Magazine (@voguemagazine) January 29, 2015

Repost By @richardcorman: #underthebrooklynbridge #ilovenyc #sunrise #ballet #dance #beauty @richardcorman" http://t.co/Oxhejq8HS3

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Misty Copeland (@mistyonpointe) January 29, 2015

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J. Cole Will Let Single Mothers Live at 2014 Forest Hills Drive for Free theroot.com/blogs/the_grap…

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deray mckesson (@deray) January 28, 2015

Are you a member of the new 'Silent Majority?' Yes? You oughta be ashamed. http://t.co/vHbo3csROL

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Kennett Area Dems (@KennettDems) January 25, 2015

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Senate approves Keystone pipeline in 62 to 36 vote on.msnbc.com/1A43tSi http://t.co/WKF7NIZTVU

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  (@msnbc) January 30, 2015

Delaware pushes DMV to consider issuing digital driver's licenses cbsn.ws/1DlAIP1

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CBS News (@CBSNews) January 30, 2015

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California eases prison crowding after years of trying reut.rs/1ESCrwl

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Reuters U.S. News (@ReutersUS) January 30, 2015

Texas rally by Muslims seeking tolerance disrupted by protesters reut.rs/1A481Ir

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Reuters U.S. News (@ReutersUS) January 29, 2015

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Number of Americans filing new #unemployment claims tumbles to lowest level in nearly 15 years yhoo.it/1A1ZXI1

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Yahoo News (@YahooNews) January 29, 2015

76% of Pennsylvanians, including 64% of GOP, say gay marriage being legal hasn't negatively impacted their lives: publicpolicypolling.com/main/2015/01/p…

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PublicPolicyPolling (@ppppolls) January 29, 2015

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Republicans approved #KeystoneXL without guaranteeing that the pipeline be built with American steel and use American workers.

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Debbie Stabenow (@stabenow) January 29, 2015

We have super low oil prices already rn, but sure, whatevs, build a pipeline that imports environmentally damaging Canadian oil, I guess

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Hayes Brown (@HayesBrown) January 29, 2015

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Biden Op-Ed: On Monday, Obama will seek $1billion to help Central America reform its security, governance & economy: nyti.ms/1A4dX4j

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NYT Opinion (@nytopinion) January 29, 2015

We're not young & invincible forever. #GetCovered by 2/15 to give yourself peace of mind. go.wh.gov/get-covered #TBT http://t.co/5tcaoHU4du

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Vice President Biden (@VP) January 29, 2015

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#TBT to being a young invincible. But now it's time to stay healthy & #GetCovered by Feb. 15 → go.wh.gov/get-covered http://t.co/5Gii2p7dAC

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The First Lady (@FLOTUS) January 29, 2015

No one stays young and invincible forever. Make sure you #GetCovered by February 15: go.wh.gov/get-covered #TBT http://t.co/NbBfcZB4ZJ

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) January 29, 2015

President delivers remarks at House Democratic Issues Conference

President Obama is greeted by Gov Tom Wolf and Mayor Michael Nutter upon his arrival at Philadelphia International Airport

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7:10 EST: The President delivers remarks at the House Democratic Issues Conference

Live on C-Span and CBS

Lowered Healthcare Costs? Thanks, ObamaCare

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Tara Culp-Ressler: How The Obama Administration Is Getting Serious About Lowering Health Costs

The Obama administration unveiled an ambitious plan on Monday that will make historic changes to the way that doctors get paid. The ultimate goal is to tie more of doctors’ payments to the quality of care they provide, hopefully driving down the trillions of dollars that the U.S. currently spends on health services every year. The reforms are targeted at Medicare, the government program that provides coverage for Americans over the age of 64. Most Medicare providers currently get paid through what’s called a “fee for service” system. They’re paid a flat free for every test or procedure they perform, regardless of whether those services actually improve their patients’ health. Now, the administration wants to shift the program so that more of its payments are tied to health outcomes.

Essentially, that means providers will be rewarded for keeping their patients healthy, and penalized for unnecessary services that don’t advance that goal. Proponents of payment reform are encouraged by the move — which they see as a serious step toward creating a health care system that’s based on the value, rather than the sheer volume, of services. The Affordable Care Act has been slowly moving in this direction over the past few years. The health law created alternative payment models — called “Accountable Care Organizations,” or ACOs — to incentivize providers to work together to improve patient care and cut down on costs. So far, there’s been some evidence that ACOs are successfully improving the quality of health care for Medicare patients. Some are also starting to generate cost savings. If ACOs save enough money, the participating providers earn bonuses, a goal that about a fourth of of them hit last year.

More here

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How the Obama Administration is getting serious about lowering health costs thkpr.gs/3615915

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ThinkProgress (@thinkprogress) January 27, 2015

1st clear indication we're leaving fee-for-service in much of healthcare. As I said in 2009, it's the right direction nyr.kr/1zqEwRq

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Atul Gawande (@Atul_Gawande) January 27, 2015

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Rock climb ✓ Work out ✓ #GetCovered ✓ A healthy lifestyle includes getting health coverage: healthcare.gov http://t.co/Jwxu3Bo4mt

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The First Lady (@FLOTUS) January 29, 2015

If you need health insurance, find a plan that's right for you right now: ofa.bo/g2Y7 #GetCovered

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Barack Obama (@BarackObama) January 26, 2015

Chat Away

Early Bird Rise and Shine

On This Day – Pete Souza: “A view of the President’s chair in the Cabinet Room. The plaques on the chairs of the President and the Vice President are noted with the date of the inauguration; the plaques on the chairs of each Cabinet member are noted with the date of their confirmation by the Senate.” Jan. 29, 2010

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Today (all times Eastern)

12:30: White House press briefing

5:05: The President departs the White House

7:10: Delivers remarks at the House Democratic Issues Conference, Philadelphia

9:0: Departs Philadelphia

10:0: Arrives White House

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On This Day

Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood, a Republican member of the Cabinet, feigns being a blocking back for President Barack Obama as he arrives backstage to meet with GOP House leaders before speaking to their issues conference at the Renaissance Baltimore Harbor Place Hotel in Baltimore, Md., Jan. 29, 2010 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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President Obama greets audience members after delivering remarks on raising the federal minimum wage, at Costco in Lanham, Md., Jan. 29, 2014 (Photo by Pete Souza)

First Lady Michelle Obama poses for a selfie with Ryan Seacrest after taping a “Let’s Move!” interview at E! Networks in Los Angeles, Calif., Jan. 29, 2014 (Photo by Lawrence Jackson)

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MoooOOOooorning! Chat on!