Smile Into The Night

 

A Tweet Or Two

POTUS: I congratulate President Sergio #Mattarella on his election as President of #Italy

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@NSCPress (@NSCPress) January 31, 2015

POTUS: I look forward to working w/ President #Mattarella to address transatlantic & global challenges & seize new opportunities #Italy

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@NSCPress (@NSCPress) January 31, 2015

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Video at the link

Michelle Obama crowns school counselor of the year! et.tv/1wKPvxl http://t.co/lKyEUuMl9z

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EntertainmentTonight (@etnow) January 31, 2015

"All of our young people will need some kind of education beyond high school." —The First Lady: usat.ly/1CGZNW1 #ReachHigher

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The First Lady (@FLOTUS) January 30, 2015

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Check getting covered off of your to-do list. Find a plan that works for you before the February 15th deadline: ofa.bo/d2X7

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Barack Obama (@BarackObama) January 30, 2015

This Just In! Watch @OliviaWilde and I play "OBAMACARE OR SHUT UP?" as healthcare.gov re-loads! WATCH: funnyordie.com/videos/af8af15…

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billy eichner (@billyeichner) October 09, 2013

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That moment when you win your 19th career major championship. Serena now tied for 3rd most major titles of all time. http://t.co/8mOYIfH6Ct

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  (@SportsCenter) January 31, 2015

J.Cole Is Turning His Childhood Home Into A Rent-Free Haven For Single Mothers bit.ly/1DgKL7Z http://t.co/RjZErF7ESv @AZEALIABANKS

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KOLA BOOF (Official) (@KolaBoof) January 30, 2015

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When Ellen's Oscar tweet shuts down the site, we rejoice in the mass enthusiasm. When healthcare sign-ups do the same, we judge and sneer.

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olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) April 01, 2014

Angry people, my point was: the Internet is not magic. Websites aren't infinitely powerful. Focus. Healthcare for uninsured people = humane.

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olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) April 02, 2014

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I cannot get enough of Obama on Between Two Ferns. Pass it around and spread the hilarity. funnyordie.com/videos/18e820e…

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olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) March 11, 2014

To be honest, any religious organisation which believes in immaculate conception shouldn't be allowed to pass judgment on reproduction.

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Jim Field Smith (@jimfieldsmith) January 30, 2015

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To be clear: Pro-Black ≠ Anti-White Anti-Police Brutality ≠ Anti-Policing Black Male ≠ Thug Obama ≠ Post-Racial America via @maiysha

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BJ Thompson (@bj116) December 04, 2014

Imagine a world in which we are all enlightened by objective truths rather than offended by them.

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Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 27, 2014

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Horrifying. If you must buy a gun, HIDE IT. “@HuffingtonPost: Boy, 5, fatally shoots 9-month-old brother w/ handgun huff.to/1J3HqMT”

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olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) January 20, 2015

What am I saying? Hiding a gun is just as idiotic. My mistake. Consider living without one. Your children are worth it.

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olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) January 20, 2015

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Dear America, if you tax the rich 10% more, they're still rich. If you cut foodstamps 10% more, kids go hungry. #priorities

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Path2Enlightenment (@Path2Enlighten) January 28, 2015

.@billyeichner and I made this beautiful sign. It took hours. We are serious. Get your health care on. #GetCovered http://t.co/YDqkjGiZYS

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olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) October 03, 2013

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With 32 thousand gun deaths a year shouldn't the US State Dept issue a travel warning for US citizens visiting the US?

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Adam McKay (@GhostPanther) September 26, 2013

The internet age via @NewYorker http://t.co/9tVye6EeMD

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olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) November 19, 2013

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Yeah, your unvaccinated kid looks just thrilled, lady. http://t.co/Jo3FZwVKiJ

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Ian (@iboudreau) January 31, 2015

She considered tetanus shot after he cut himself on wire fence but decided no: “He has such a strong immune system.” nytimes.com/2015/01/31/us/…

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Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) January 31, 2015

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@joshtpm "My son lost his finger while playing Cat's Cradle with hemp but, I'm sure it will grow back, the hemp was organic."

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Linda McCann Jeffers (@LMcCJ) January 31, 2015

@popehat @joshtpm @greatdismal "He has such a strong immune system." Okay then, I'm convinced.

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Bill Childs (@billchilds) January 31, 2015

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Oh dear god... No, Mary Cheney. Just no. No, no, no. A thousand times no. cnn.com/2015/01/30/pol… http://t.co/b2fdWp1szE

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Parker Marie Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) January 31, 2015

UVA sorority sisters are now banned from frat parties for being potential rape victims: slate.me/1wFMEG7 http://t.co/9eWFQeWsAF

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  (@Slate) January 30, 2015

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Three Chad soldiers, 123 Boko Haram militants killed in Cameroon u.afp.com/ztq

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Agence France-Presse (@AFP) January 31, 2015

ISIS chemical weapons expert killed in airstrike thehill.com/policy/defense…

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Kristina Wong (@kristina_wong) January 30, 2015

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the remix http://t.co/UuZElxmH7j

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Disgruntled Haradrim (@pdjeliclark) January 30, 2015

This is what snake venom does to blood pic.twitter.com/sJQQVk7Yjv

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How Things Work (@ThingsWork) October 22, 2014

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All the cool/fun/weird/awesome things Marshawn Lynch has done, in one post: sbnation.com/nfl/2015/1/29/… http://t.co/dsjH1uMwlu

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SB Nation (@SBNation) January 30, 2015

Rosa Parks sat so MLK could walk. MLK walked so Obama could run. Obama ran so Marshawn could ignore your dumbass questions

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Desus Nice (@desusnice) January 29, 2015

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KURDISH WOMEN SNIPERS They picked off ISIS terrorists in the streets of #Kobane one by one. #TwitterKurds #Snipers http://t.co/SvQKL4vJy5

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@Hevallo (@Hevallo) January 29, 2015

Islamic State fighters admit defeat in Syrian town of Kobani, vow to attack town again trib.in/1HzkxUh http://t.co/bLyZfaA5U0

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Chicago Tribune (@chicagotribune) January 31, 2015

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Mideast Updates: Yemen: U.S. drone strike kills 4 Al-Qaida operatives htz.li/1xP

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Haaretz.com (@haaretzcom) January 31, 2015

Artillery fire kills at least 12 civilians in Donetsk, Ukraine, on Friday. Hopes for new peace talks dashed yhoo.it/1BD2vrD

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Yahoo News (@YahooNews) January 31, 2015

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1 in 5 American children are relying on food stamps for meals ti.me/1LjulkG (Andrew Burton—Getty Images) http://t.co/3hwIB5DCzk

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TIME.com (@TIME) January 29, 2015

95% of the poorest counties are in red states: j.mp/1ufg4yC Tell us again about urban poverty? #p2 #tcot http://t.co/0ftckgyCz4

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Casey (@pari_passu) January 22, 2015

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Learn how the U.S. Government is working to combat human trafficking in supply chains wh.gov/iTD7C

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@NSCPress (@NSCPress) January 30, 2015

I wish I could bring all of you up to see this! http://t.co/V1AizkRjqj

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Terry W. Virts (@AstroTerry) January 31, 2015

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Working my butt off in my small biz today. Very busy. Sales, good, insurance YES thanks to ACA, THANKS OBAMA! My life = better!

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Bimmerella (@bimmerella) January 31, 2015

SUCCESS: 10 million who have gained coverage over the last 12, the best 12 months of job creation this century eclectablog.com/2015/01/day-6-…

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  (@LOLGOP) January 31, 2015

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Yes Henry, that is the vacuum cleaner you see before your eyes. http://t.co/XX4g2pnrGp

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The Grump Crusader ツ (@grumpcrusader) January 31, 2015

Heh. http://t.co/Q7qRfAF4Lm

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olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) July 02, 2014

Chat Away

First Lady Michelle Obama greets Counselor of the Year semi-finalists and finalists in the Blue Room prior to an event honoring them in the East Room of the White House, Jan. 30, 2015. (Official White House Photo by Amanda Lucidon)

Rise and Shine: The Week Ahead

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The Week Ahead

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Sunday

The President will speak with Savannah Guthrie in a live interview that will air during NBC’s pre-Super Bowl show

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Monday

The President will deliver remarks on the FY 2016 Budget at the Dept of Homeland Security

In the afternoon, he will welcome the 2014 NHL champions the LA Kings and the MLS Cup champions LA Galaxy to the White House

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Tuesday

The President will hold a cabinet meeting at the White House

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Wednesday

The President will attend meetings at the White House

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Thursday

The President will deliver remarks at the National Prayer Breakfast; the First Lady will also attend

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Friday

The President will attend meetings at the White House

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Early Bird Chat

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Serena Williams wins her sixth Australian Open and 19th Grand Slam title. She's a whole bunch of awesome. http://t.co/H5N6qpYDeG

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TheObamaDiary.com (@TheObamaDiary) January 31, 2015

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On This Day: President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama make their entrance at the Annual Alfalfa Dinner at the Capital Hilton Hotel, Washington, D.C., Jan. 31, 2009 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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MoooOOOooorning!

Laugh This Week Away

frogs are bullshit. theyre just fucked up fish. i dont believe in frogs zookeeper: sir no ones asking you to believe just put the gun down

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eric (@dubstep4dads) January 12, 2015

[god, creating ducks] Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know

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audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) January 15, 2015

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My dad ends all of his texts with "Dad" http://t.co/HcwpfSaohB

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Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) January 20, 2015

could the vegetables youre eating actually be BAD for you? find out here, with my 10 shocking facts about vegetables! http://t.co/lOFrANneTD

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eric (@dubstep4dads) January 10, 2015

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I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is.

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Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 15, 2015

B is obviously the sexiest letter. Here's an impression of the letter O getting turned on seeing the letter B: Q

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shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) January 10, 2015

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My supervisor just said "Supposably" so I guess I'm in charge now.

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  (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 08, 2015

God, grant me the serenity to yell at immigrant children, the courage to still say I'm a Christian, and the ignorance to not get the irony.

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Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) July 20, 2014

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"In this same office, firing you." - Best answer to the "where do you see yourself in 10 years?" job interview question.

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Josh Hara (@yoyoha) February 15, 2011

I am truly a monster for laughing at this and I accept that. http://t.co/c7BGw388E3

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  (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 22, 2015

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[holding crying baby] Um how do you put it on vibrate?

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Jazmasta (@jazmasta) January 15, 2015

[nicki minaj concert] nicki: i bees in the trap, bees bees in the trap bee in the crowd: wow rap music is awesome these days lol

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eric (@dubstep4dads) January 22, 2015

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[wiz khalifa concert] wiz: black and yellow black and yellow bee in the crowd: oh hell yeah

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eric (@dubstep4dads) January 20, 2015

BREAKING NEWS: TOM BRADY CAUGHT IN SEX SCANDAL WITH NEW GIRLFRIEND http://t.co/JnhJhDbiGM

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Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) January 23, 2015

A Tweet Or Two

"That’s the promise of #PrecisionMedicine—delivering the right treatment, at the right time, every time." —Obama http://t.co/CqrqVblHMx

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) January 30, 2015

"The Budget I'm sending to Congress is a blueprint for success in the new economy." —Obama: PresidentObama/a-blueprint-for-middle-class-economics-4018a1492196"> medium.com/@PresidentObam… http://t.co/5H0Nm6zzlT

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) January 30, 2015

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"Look at all those Republicans claiming credit for our economic recovery. Malarkey!!" -@VP to #HouseDemsInPhilly http://t.co/fcXL0hpVWy

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  (@sfpelosi) January 30, 2015

Inspired by MLK, @NancyPelosi says fight for the middle class is a fight for the content of our character as a nation youtu.be/SNHZAx84r_4

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  (@sfpelosi) January 30, 2015

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@GOP won't #RaiseTheWage or time off but House work schedule for 2015 is 131days for which they get paid $174K http://t.co/EV2mYtbpKJ

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meta (@metaquest) January 30, 2015

Mitt's not running. Boy, I sure hope the GOP can find another stiff rich white guy who loves war and hates gay people in time for 2016

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  (@Stonekettle) January 30, 2015

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Why feminism? Because you can sell 30 MILLION copies of a single book and when you die, The Australian prints this: http://t.co/DAqkvphV35

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Comrade Badham (@vanbadham) January 30, 2015

mic drop http://t.co/p0VMS7r5bj

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Angelina L.B. (@albinwonderland) January 30, 2015

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I'm just gonna set this down right here. Because, @shondarhimes. #Shondaland. #GreysAnatomy #Scandal #HTGAWM http://t.co/OvYB1sWves

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Dr. Goddess (@drgoddess) January 30, 2015

I'm Not Sorry. http://t.co/6zWcerqrJ1

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deray mckesson (@deray) January 30, 2015

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But now that Romney's not running, who will stick up for the poor?

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Chris Moody (@moody) January 30, 2015

Mitt Romney sadly singing Mr. Big Stuff to himself in the bathtub of a dark bathroom

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Ben Dimiero (@bendimiero) January 30, 2015

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First Lady Attends the Counselor of the Year Event

1:30 EST: The First Lady Attends the Counselor of the Year Event

Chat Away

Congratulations to Mitt Romney for finally saying something the American people want to hear.

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John Dingell (@JohnDingell) January 30, 2015

Greatest tweet ever?

President Obama Speaks on the Precision Medicine Initiative

11:10 EST: President Obama Speaks on the Precision Medicine Initiative

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