[Jesus dying on cross]
Jesus: Remember me as I was, not as I am.
Christianity: Too late. Already got the crucifix merchandise ready to go.
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Alex van Beek (@AlexvanBeek) November 21, 2014The perfect tweet, only 270 characters too long. http://t.co/6wun8GgdW7
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Zachary? (@GreenishDuck) November 26, 2014****
*lays head on homeless guys lap*
"You would not believe the day I had"
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Josh (@iwearaonesie) September 16, 2014DATING TIP: Show people you're sexy AND smart. For example, you could say "back that ass up like America backed the Allies in World War II."
—
Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) November 20, 2014****
[court]
so you admit to the murder
"yes"
thank you
"no prob"
anything you wanna add?
"sike"
*my lawyer cups hands around his mouth* OH SNAP
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Brent (@murrman5) December 04, 2014Food is always the answer. You're sick? Eat something. You're sad? Eat something. You're already eating? Finish that and eat something else.
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Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) November 14, 2014****
[giraffe getting ready to throw up]
Omg I feel it coming
*15 minutes later*
It's still coming
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luke (@internetluke) December 03, 2014[fighting in battle of the bulge]
me: more like battle of the [grabs crotch] BULGE haha
other soldier: that's already what its called, idiot
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slick (@fanofhell) December 03, 2014****
[funeral]
*walks up to give eulogy*
*pulls notes out of pocket*
"Frank was a weirdo that bit his toenails."
*folds notes*
*sits back down*
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Gan (@Terry_maximo) November 21, 2014"911, what's your emergency?"
"Hi. Long time listener, first time caller."
"That's really funny."
"Thank you. Anyways, I'm being stabbed."
—
Lauren Reeves (@laurenreeves) November 10, 2013****
"You are terrible at metaphors."
"Wow. Jealousy is a bad moustache on you."
—
THE NATEWOLF (@thenatewolf) December 11, 2014Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real.
—
Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) December 01, 2014****
*steals jump rope from some little girls*
YO LEMME SHOW YOU SOME SHIT
*throws jump rope into a tree*
LIFE IS FUCKING HARD SO GET USED TO IT
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a. spaceman (@adamrensch) April 19, 2013“Ruh roh” says Scooby as the cops pull the van over. Shaggy looks at the kilos of heroin in the back, sighs, and pulls out a machine gun.
—
būč|{¥ |$0+øp€ (@BuckyIsotope) November 23, 2013
The Obama Diary 
Me.
Yes, you! Congratulations on first, LL and also on your insightful post earlier.
First?
Congrats LL and your post was thought provoking and spot on as usual. Hoping the missus will be home soon and glad her dad is doing better too.
Thanks, Jojo.
Let the far left loons begin their bashing…
Lost?
Thousands of Indians are sending a message of support to Pakistan on Twitter in the wake of the Taliban school massacre in Peshawar.
The hashtag #IndiawithPakistan has taken off in a matter of hours, despite the long history of antagonism between the two countries.
The idea was spawned by Tehseen Poonawalla, an entrepreneur and newspaper columnist from Delhi, who was in the gym when the news about the attack started playing on the television channels he was watching.
“The visuals were horrific and I was getting updates from social media as well,” he told BBC Trending. “Yesterday, everyone was moved by the hashtag [#Illridewithyou] which came up after the attack in Australia. And I thought it was time for India to stand up and express their support.”
http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-30502337
#IndiaWithPakistan
#IllRideWithYou
#BlackLivesMatter
#SandyHook
#HandsUpDontShoot
.
.
.
.
.
.
When we no longer need #s because we’ve stopped slaughtering children, enslaving anyone, torturing anyone, molesting anyone …. we might actually have grounds for a conversation about our species being ‘civilized.’
bbl …
Wow, thanks Bob!
Bravo!
Extraordinaryyyyyyyyy…
WE MUST see these expressions of humanity…for what they are….they are proof that OUR Humanity is stronger than the we know….Stronger than we know…and that we can have HOPE! That we can have HOPE!
Profound, to be happening on Hanukkah ~ or any other day.
Yesssssssss Jackie it is…and only because of twitter do we know about it…because the MSM would never have reported it…Never
Never! When the President quoted “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for,” he may have inserted “We [and Twitter] … “
Twitter has been coddling and enabling this guy for the longest while…now let’s see how the same Twitter responds to this:
He’s one sick mofo.
Nerdy – Whatever set you on the path you are on, I applaud it (and you!). You never look at the superficial things in life and stop there; you are always scratching away the surface to get to the profound. Or to get to the real humor of life, which is also profound.
I toast you tonight and will again tomorrow!
I thank you and I toast you too, Ms. J’OB! 🙂
President Obama bars oil and gas development in Alaska Bristol Bay. Am proud of our president!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/16/obama-bristol-bay_n_6337054.html
Love the tweets…hate playing catch-up. Nerdy is wonderful as always. Great stuff in TOD today folks.
Thanks, Vetivera24.
Indian students pay silent tribute to victims of Peshawar tragedy.
http://www.rediff.com/news/report/pix-students-pay-silent-tribute-to-victims-of-peshawar-tragedy/20141217.htm
Beautiful.
absolutely beautiful
Ya know, there truly are days when I wonder if I’m living on the same planet as the MSM. The current year end meme, of course, is that PBO had the worst year of anyone and it was a real bitch. Somehow, I highly doubt he sees it the same way:
Continued the trend of job growth, now at 59 straight months
Consumer confidence at its highest level in 8 years
Deficit continues to fall faster than expected
UE continues to decline
As of the end of the night tonight, has 303 judicial confirmations, the most of any president in decades including Clinton and Bush
Ebola was contained with no US deaths from contagion here
Budget bill passed through Sept of 2015
US for the first time is no longer the stepchild on climate change action
Got China to make some actual commitments on climate change
Daesh’ march has been stopped and the unified forces are retaking towns and villages’
Brought together this group of countries to fight Daesh
Brought the Afghanistan war to a close in terms of combat operations
Significant progress on containing Iran’s nuclear program that should lead to a deal within the next few weeks
Turns out he was the one playing chess in Russia while Putin was playing checkers:-)
And I’m sure there are other things that I’ve forgotten in this list. Yes, we lost the Senate but the long term plans are laid for a successful conclusion of his presidency. Sure hope he gets his well deserved Hawaii vacation. All in all, if this is “terrible” year can’t imagine what a great year would look like!
Feel free to add the things I’ve missed!
Oh, a biggies, EA on immigration!
LOL. nice sets of reality. you should tweet it.
I don’t tweet AMK, only read others. If someone wants to start tweeting these things out, feel free!
FoxfireTX, thank you so much for all this and I will certainly be tweeting it out today. It’s a great reminder of how hard our POTUS works every single day and how much he’s achieved in this difficult year.
Meta, did I hear that your brother passed away? I lost my brother in December, too. Putting the ornaments on our tree that he helped us collect over the years is like “visiting” him, every year. I still continue his tradition of buying Mr. 57 his train ornaments every year, from my brother.
It will take some time, but the good memories will overcome the sorrow.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much, 57. Everyone here is such a comfort.
We’re here for you, meta. You are loved.
Another biggie, successful implementation of the ACA!
The only one who didn’t “dodge a bullet” on that premise was Cheney’s friend, who apologized when Dick shot him.
Off to bleach my brain after looking at his face!
….In its final act of the year, the Senate blew through a dozen U.S. district court nominees on Tuesday night. That puts Obama at a whopping 89 district court and circuit court confirmations for the year, and means he’ll wrap up his sixth year in office with a grand total of 305 district court and circuit court confirmations — a tally that puts him well beyond where his predecessors were by this point in their presidencies…..
Good for Harry Reid! It’s his nuclear option that allowed this to happen.
good night TOD …
now, good night ….
He is & will always be such an extraordinary, magnificent human. Yep, I’m still w doing the hallelujah, this time w/ Madiba, my forever hero:
.
Cry Freedom >>>> …. I Can’t Breath >> Hand Up, Don’t Shoot >> …… >>>> Cry Freedom …… >>>> Chains ….. >>>>> Cry Freedom ….. >>>> Repeat Ad nauseam.
ENOUGH!
Chips, can you capture this image into a pic? Just love their smiles.
Here’s one for TODers, when you wake up, heh-hey, & have a lovely hump day:
.
India mourns Pakistan Taliban Peshawar school massacre.
Indian schoolchildren are protesting against a Taliban attack at a school in Pakistan’s Peshawar city that killed 132 children and nine staff.
They are holding a two-minute silence following an appeal by Prime Minister Narendra Modi.
Mr Modi condemned the “dastardly attack” and appealed to mourn the deaths as “a mark of solidarity”.
World leaders voiced disgust at the Taliban’s deadliest attack to date, which even its Afghan allies disowned.
Across schools in India, students participated in prayer sessions and observed a two-minute silence to show their support to Pakistani children.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-30510242
Beautiful! The world will mourn lead by the children.
Moooooooorning!
http://theobamadiary.com/2014/12/17/early-bird-chat-414/