A Little Laughter To End Your Saturday

why'd daddy go first?
"to show you theres no reason to be afraid of the dentist"
[sounds of a commotion] SIR STOP HISSING AT ME LIKE A SNAKE

— brent (@murrman5) November 26, 2014

*clerk puts up 50% off cargo shorts sign*
*ground rumbles*
*manager runs out*
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
*dads crash thru wall with Discover cards*

— Dr. Bucky Isotope, Master of Puppets (@BuckyIsotope) November 25, 2014

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[boss asking phil if he deserves the promotion over me]
"well, I've been an asset here for yea-
[from outside bosses office] FIGHT ME PHIL

— brent (@murrman5) November 26, 2014

"Sorry, boss. I can't come in today."

"Why not?"

[fakes a sore throat]

"I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."

— Enrique Shockwave (@UNDEADTRESOR) November 14, 2014

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When ur family says they'll be serving sweet potatoes instead of regular good potatoes pic.twitter.com/BMv1Pd9xVU

— Jason (@longwall26) November 26, 2014

Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy

Judge: what's upsexy?

[lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance

— paperwash© (@PaperWash) November 22, 2014

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https://twitter.com/thenatewolf/status/536319071210332160

*walks into school & grabs the intercom*
"IT'S ALL LIES.YOULL NEVER USE MATH IN REAL LIFE"
*fighting noises*
"SUBTRACT MATH FROM YOUR LIVES"

— Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) November 19, 2014

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wow this message included in boxes of Erector Sets to parents in 1969 is real, amazing, and still true today and real pic.twitter.com/qF78k0vfoI

— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) November 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/TimmyPumpkin/status/428915925111152640

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[furious with son]
wife: what happened?
me: he talks back to me and is insulting me in Spanish
[son from room] yolo isn't spanish
me: ya see

— brent (@murrman5) November 21, 2014

https://twitter.com/KeetPotato/status/535121918559780864

A Tweet Or Two

Read Darren Wilson's Resignation Letter. #Ferguson pic.twitter.com/IdSB6q9qTr

— deray (@deray) November 30, 2014

https://twitter.com/robotnic/status/538846377938522113

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Michael Brown Sr.'s church was burned down: http://t.co/RXMAMCuoRO. Only $2k has been raised to rebuild it http://t.co/mUVSAjVCwR

— Elahe Izadi | الهه (@ElaheIzadi) November 28, 2014

https://twitter.com/jeffrae/status/538135725829783552

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Fox News never fails to demonize Black people. Until that moment they need something

Well played: pic.twitter.com/mILN0mWUxU

— David Colburn (@davidcolburn) November 28, 2014

'H-town for Mike Brown' gathers in downtown #Houston http://t.co/G1fBOQy9OB #HouNews #Ferguson pic.twitter.com/LrKUn2xQ4H

— KHOU 11 News Houston (@KHOU) November 27, 2014

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12 yr old #TamirRice never had a chance http://t.co/PuejNf17hE Police car barely stops rolling when shots are fired.

— Jennifer Brea🦒 (@jenbrea) November 26, 2014

https://twitter.com/JRehling/status/537740538170994689

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#TamirRice wasn't given the same leniency that open carry white men are. http://t.co/BYQ2pKOGY4 pic.twitter.com/LZciuztL5Y

— Khary Penebaker (@kharyp) November 27, 2014

Former Philadelphia Police Captain Ray Lewis Is Standing With Protesters In #Ferguson via http://t.co/JXyiQz0hgj pic.twitter.com/YIroxcOU33

— Lnonblonde💿® (@Lnonblonde) November 27, 2014

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https://twitter.com/Crommunist/status/537293287192002560

https://twitter.com/Crommunist/status/537293752331948033

https://twitter.com/Crommunist/status/537294117030862849

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https://twitter.com/chescaleigh/status/537694772073615360

Darren Wilson says Mike Brown "looked like a demon"
Meanwhile in white America, 2 little cherubs go shopping Target pic.twitter.com/cK9XktbPjM

— Subscribe to Unprecedented on Ghost - no paywall! (@TheDailyEdge) November 26, 2014

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The officer just hopped out of a moving car, shot and killed a 12 year old. Is that what I just saw? #TamirRice

— Not That Kinda Atty (@HUSLDiplomat) November 26, 2014

@HUSLDiplomat @Only4RM That's what I saw too.

— Steve Rapport Photography (@NorthBankNorman) November 26, 2014

https://twitter.com/nadirahsimm/status/537694160523132928

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12 year old #TamirRice was shot and killed in #Cleveland. and this is how the local media decided to spin it pic.twitter.com/gK9uvs1ZGz

— Tej Sahota (@boatical) November 26, 2014

New Yorker nails it pic.twitter.com/2Wy1rp03xS

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) November 26, 2014

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In some states "it's a huge deal."

Where Obama's immigration plan has biggest impact: http://t.co/GndaBdETOL pic.twitter.com/BqjmnGHB54

— CBS News (@CBSNews) November 26, 2014

President Obama just stepped in to stop Congress from giving corporations $440B in tax breaks http://t.co/clw883xioZ pic.twitter.com/xIp77XF5Dw

— Mic (@mic) November 26, 2014

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Pres Obama's Step-Grandmother continues educating young Kenyans, honored w/Education Pioneer award at United Nations http://t.co/XeOHIGPbuE

— meta (@metaquest) November 26, 2014

National Bar Association has created a 24 hour hotline for #Ferguson Complaints. to be used in Federal Investigation 314-589-2500 | #p2

— 🅿️erez 🅿️eretz 🏳️‍🌈 (@Jethro_Aryeh) November 26, 2014

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https://twitter.com/Tedderman1/status/537682212209319937

Hands up! Don't shoot! London outside of US Embassy right now. Justice for #MichaelBrown #LondonToFerguson #Ferguson pic.twitter.com/Lv0yTHzCCW

— Aaron Kiely (@Aaron_Kiely) November 26, 2014

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"Is my son next?" - Today during the #BoycottBlackFriday action in NYC. #BlackoutBlackFriday pic.twitter.com/Wt5u1edYoX

— Miki Takes Photos (@MikiTakesPhotos) November 29, 2014

This week is 8 years since unarmed groom Sean Bell was killed by cops. 50 bullets. Cops were acquitted. #NotOneDime pic.twitter.com/31zUlVNwqL

— Rahiel Tesfamariam (@RahielT) November 28, 2014

#Ferguson protestors shut down Interstate 5 near San Diego.http://t.co/nsL01CPrJ9 pic.twitter.com/ricjTuFfBM

— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) November 28, 2014

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April 17, 2012 my dad was shot by a cop 8 times b/c he thought he had a gun.

He didn't. I miss you so much 😭 pic.twitter.com/p75cTxMsil

— Celine (@_sealionnnn) November 25, 2014

We won't forget. http://t.co/I4cITkBX3K

— Dee Jaye 🐝 🥁 Prosecute Insurrection 🇺🇦 (@deejayedee) November 25, 2014

Book Worms

The President after spotting Chuck Todd’s comic (Photo by Pete Souza)

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The Bought Books

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End – Atul Gawande

Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business (Junie B. Jones Series #2) – Barbara Park

A Barnyard Collection: Click, Clack, Moo and More – Doreen Cronin

I Spy Sticker Book and Picture Riddles by Jean Marzollo

Nuts to You – Lynn Rae Perkins

Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus (Junie B. Jones Series #1) – Barbara Park

Brown Girl Dreaming – Jacqueline Woodson

Redwall (Redwall Series #1) – Brian Jacques

Mossflower (Redwall Series #2) – Brian Jacques

Mattimeo – Brian Jacques (Redwall Series #3)

Cartwheeling in Thunderstorms – Katherine Rundell

The Narrow Road to the Deep North – Richard Flanagan

The Laughing Monsters – Denis Johnson

All the Light We Cannot See – Anthony Doerr

Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad

Nora Webster – Colm Toibin

Age of Ambition: Chasing Fortune, Truth and Faith in the New China – Evan Osnos

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https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/538794326047088641

Supporting #SmallBusinessSaturday

President Obama, Sasha and Malia shop at Politics and Prose bookstore for “Small Business Saturday,” on Saturday, Nov. 29, 2014, in Washington

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Rise and Shine

On This Day: First Lady Michelle Obama hugs a young girl in the the Diplomatic Reception Room of the White House, Nov. 29, 2010. The First Lady welcomed children who participated in the President’s Active Lifestyle Award (Photo by Samantha Appleton)

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The President has no public events scheduled this weekend

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On This Day

Bo is greeted by several of the President’s Active Lifestyle Award achievers in the Diplomatic Reception Room of the White House, Nov. 29, 2010 (Photo by Samantha Appleton)

First Lady Michelle Obama looks at a card created during a mentoring event in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, Nov. 29, 2010. The students gathered to make holiday cards for active duty service members (Photo by Samantha Appleton)

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Pete Souza: “There is closure in this photograph. I suspect that neither man really wanted to have lunch with the other, but they both knew the importance for the American people in seeing them do so. Here, the President bids farewell to former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney following their lunch.” Nov. 29, 2012

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First Lady Michelle Obama, her daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, the family dogs Bo and Sunny, and Christopher Botek of Lehighton, Pennsylvania, and John Wyckoff of Belvidere, New Jersey, walk out of the White House North Portico to receive the official White House Christmas Tree, November 29, 2013

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama meet with people taking part in the Fast For Families on the National Mall in support of immigration reform, November 29, 2013

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Chat on!

Early Bird Chat

On This Day: President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama meet with people taking part in the Fast For Families on the National Mall in support of immigration reform, November 29, 2013

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MoooOOOooorning!