Laughter Goes Well With Turkey

NASA wrote back to me. pic.twitter.com/pu5LjGpKVO

— Jamie Jones (@JamieDMJ) November 23, 2013

[A dog is leaving a note on my car]
"Whats going on?"
You're getting a 'barking' ticket
"Hahah oh wow thats clever"
This isnt a fucking joke

— dubstep4dads (@dubstep4dads) July 29, 2014

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What vaccination does a bird get in the winter? A FLEW sh- *before I can finish Satan grabs hold of me & pulls me down to the fiery inferno*

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) November 26, 2014

windows 8: i got some updates
me: cool
windows: i have to restart
me: okay not now
windows: im going to
me: please dont
windows: lol

— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) November 23, 2014

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haha ok son here's another riddle, what has 4 legs but isn't alive?

"a chair haha duh, nice try mo—

it's your dog. spot's dead billy

— chet porter (@chetporter) June 11, 2013

"sure, small horses would be cool why not. i don't care anymore." -god making ponies

— chuuch (@ch000ch) November 21, 2014

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don't think of it as a break up, think of it as a remix. oh i almost forgot your dog got remixed by a car yesterday

— elon mustard (@nice_mustard) November 29, 2012

"So why do you want to be a doctor?"
*imagines taking a bunch of drugs and listening to my own dick with a stethoscope*
...To help people.

— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) November 9, 2014

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How do we know you're not a cop?
"Uh hello..."
*unzips jacket revealing 'I ❤ Crimes' t-shirt*
*bad guys look at each other*
OK he's legit...

— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) July 9, 2014

https://twitter.com/VaguelyFunnyDan/status/247522427620438016

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COP: You're under arrest for owning a non-domesticated animal.
ME:(looks at otter)You mean Dave?
COP:...and for this weed
ME: That's Dave's

— Don (@DairylandDon) December 10, 2012

https://twitter.com/KeetPotato/status/535838733313249280

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https://twitter.com/ibid78/status/534550102254563329

https://twitter.com/Kyle_Lippert/status/534094474683875328

‘Happy Thanksgiving from the Obama Family’

Chat Away

President Barack Obama makes Thanksgiving Day phone calls to U.S. troops, from the Oval Office, Nov. 27, 2014 (Photo by Pete Souza)

Happy Thanksgiving!

President Barack Obama and daughters Sasha and Malia look in on Mac, one of two turkeys spared this year from the Thanksgiving dinner table by presidential pardon, in the East Room of the White House prior to the annual National Thanksgiving Turkey pardon ceremony, Nov. 26, 2014 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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Today

The President has no public events scheduled

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Grateful for lots of things on this day, like Danny and Cheesy Puffs, but especially for living in this time, with the greatest First Family ever:

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On This Day

President Obama looks at first lady Michelle Obama and smiles as he gets a hug from his youngest daughter Sasha during an NCAA basketball game between Oregon State and Howard University on Saturday, Nov. 27, 2010. The President has 12 stitches to patch up his lip after he took an errant elbow in the mouth Friday morning during a game of basketball with friends and family at Fort McNair

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President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama greet staff and volunteers prior to a Thanksgiving service project at the Capital Area Food Bank in Washington, D.C., Nov. 27, 2013 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama shakes hands with a young girl while he, First Lady Michelle Obama, and the First Family participate in a Thanksgiving service project at the Capital Area Food Bank in Washington, D.C., Nov. 27, 2013 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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Happy Thanksgiving to everyone at TOD – love to you and all your families!

(Another lazy posting day for me, so chat on!)