Chat On

An old fave 🙂

End Wednesday With Chuckles

Thanks for sending flowers but when I said my aunt was sick I meant at freestyle battle raps.

— ceej (@ceejoyner) November 5, 2014

"dad can I get a tattoo?"
no
[10 minutes later]
out of curiosity, what did you wanna get?
"dinosaur revving a dirtbike"
I'll ask your mother

— brent (@murrman5) November 6, 2014

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*Biden pokes head into Oval Office*
Barry, we're Republicans, right?
"No Joe. We're Democrats."
*Hides WE'RE #1 foam finger behind back*
Oh.

— Dr. Bucky Isotope, Master of Puppets (@BuckyIsotope) November 5, 2014

If you work in a factory that makes more than one "World's Best Dad" cup, how do you even sleep at night?

— 🇺🇸Frank Whítehouse 🇺🇸 (@WheelTod) November 3, 2014

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https://twitter.com/LostCatDog/status/527954593045839872

Babies are like tattoos. They're yours forever and maybe wait a few days before posting pictures of them so they're not all gross looking.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 2, 2014

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[bank robbery]

OK EVERYONE BE COOL!

[everyone starts smoking cigarettes]

[dave starts coughing]

Damn it Dave you're gunna get us killed!

— paperwash© (@PaperWash) November 4, 2014

me: [wearing my cool goth clothes]
some guy yelling from a car: halloween was yesterday
me: halloween is forever bitch

— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) November 1, 2014

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When I lose a sock in the wash, I'll usually pour a little detergent out on the floor out of respect.

— kim (@KimmyMonte) November 19, 2013

if you're feeling down about your love life, remember that salmon swim hundreds of miles upstream to jack-off on a pile of eggs and die

— huntigula (@huntigula) March 31, 2014

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My wife and I are both feminists. But as a man, I’m a tiny bit better at it.

— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) November 6, 2014

those pants look great on u, but they'd look better on the floor
[I kneel down and start kissing the floor]
sharon please leave the room now

— dubstep4dads (@dubstep4dads) July 9, 2014

The President’s Day

President Barack Obama waves as he boards Air Force One at Beijing Capital International Airport in Beijing, China on his way to Myanmar

President Barack Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry, right, shakes hands outside the Great Hall of the People in Beijing

President Barack Obama waves from Air Force One upon his arrival at Naypyitaw International Airport in Naypyitaw, Myanmar

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President Barack Obama is greeted upon his arrival on Air Force One at Naypyitaw International Airport

China’s Premier Li Keqiang, Myanmar’s President Thein Sein, U.S. President Barack Obama, Malaysia’s Prime Minister Najib Razak and Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev hold hands as they pose at the 25th Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) summit in Naypyitaw

President Barack Obama and Myanmar President Thein Sein and his wife

Chat Away

Bilateral meeting with President Obama and President Xi of China Hall of the People (Pete Souza)

A Tweet or Two

President Obama is PRESSING ON. @TheDemocrats pic.twitter.com/OsNU34kRMI

— meta (@metaquest) November 12, 2014

https://twitter.com/deaconmill/status/532575136302759936

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Net Neutrality ->Obamacare for the Internet
Climate Deal with China ->Obamacare for the environment
GOP enraged on both counts.#ThanksObama

— aspirational12 (@aspirational12) November 12, 2014

It turns out to be easier & more productive for Pres Obama to deal w/China than @GOP, who refuse to compromise and serve our best interests

— meta (@metaquest) November 12, 2014

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THIS...a thousand times!!!!! => President Obama is no 'bystander' http://t.co/HWKyLUe7FH

— Nancy LeTourneau 🇺🇦 (@Smartypants60) November 12, 2014

Thanks RT @lvdjgarcia: @Smartypants60 this post from @QueenofSpain about the attacks on Valerie Jarrett is spot on http://t.co/N7YTEfFD1a

— Nancy LeTourneau 🇺🇦 (@Smartypants60) November 12, 2014

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https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/532605754747138048

https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/532560157457522688

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https://twitter.com/allanbrauer/status/532574200226004992

His existence enrages them. "@TPM: Obama's climate deal with China enrages GOP in Congress http://t.co/NhtdM5HawF pic.twitter.com/VjR0Gy36ju"

— Hope Restored In DFW (@Kennymack1971) November 12, 2014

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https://twitter.com/Our4thEstate/status/532438077751324672

#WeCanLandOnACometButWeCant accept that science is not a liberal conspiracy—it's just science.#p2 pic.twitter.com/Rdccidyn2H

— Eric Wolfson (@EricWolfson) November 12, 2014

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https://twitter.com/theonlyadult/status/532570903532408832

So... who wore it better? #StarTrek pic.twitter.com/uqEzhNTIlY

— Star Trek (@StarTrek) November 12, 2014

Chat On (The Shirt Edition)

…. with China’s Premier Li Keqiang

… with Myanmar President Thein Sein and his wife Khin Khin Win

President Obama takes part in the East Asia Summit family photo with other regional leaders at the Myanmar International Convention Center in Naypyidaw on November 12, 2014

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Chat on – if you can.

Rise and Shine

On This Day: First Lady Michelle Obama during a visit to MA’O Organic Farms in Waianae, Hawaii, Nov. 12, 2011

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President Obama arrives at Naypyidaw International Airport in Naypyidaw, Myanmar on November 12, 2014

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Myanmar is 11 hours and 30 minutes ahead of Washington, DC

Later today (Thursday in Burma), the President participates in the East Asia Summit in Nay Pyi Taw; participates in the U.S.-ASEAN Summit; holds a bilateral meeting with Burmese President Thein Sein.

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This is huge: The United States and China have just agreed on an ambitious new joint plan to cut carbon pollution. http://t.co/Ntu6NFpSFY

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) November 12, 2014

https://twitter.com/Lib_Librarian/status/532387064382115840

weird that Obama can strike a deal with China, but the GOP obstructs his every move for 5+ years.

— Eric Boehlert (@EricBoehlert) November 12, 2014

You know it's bad when smog covered China is to the left of the GOP on climate change.

— Propane Jane™ 🔥💣 (@docrocktex26) November 12, 2014

https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/532527620253315072

Net neutrality. VISA deal. Climate change deal.

President Obama - 3
Cable pundits - 0

— LiberalPhenom 👑 (@LiberalPhenom) November 12, 2014

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On This Day

President Obama greets U.S. troops at Elmendorf Air Force Base in Alaska, before he departed to Tokyo, Japan, Nov. 12, 2009 (Photo by Pete Souza)

Aides brief President Obama aboard Air Force One en route to Tokyo, Japan, Nov. 12, 2009 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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President Obama talks with Chief of Staff Bill Daley before the APEC CEO business summit in Honolulu, Hawaii, Saturday, Nov. 12, 2011 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama with Canadian PM Stephen Harper and his wife Laureen at the APEC summit dinner on November 12 2011 at the Hale Koa Hotel in Honolulu, Hawaii, 2011

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama host a dinner for leaders during the APEC summit in Honolulu, Nov. 12, 2011 (Photo by Pete Souza)

First Lady Michelle Obama during a visit to MA’O Organic Farms in Waianae, Hawaii, Nov. 12, 2011

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MoooOOOooorning!

Early Bird Chat

President Obama answers media’s question during a press conference with Chinese President Xi Jinping at the Great Hall of People on November 12, 2014 in Beijing, China

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MoooOOOooorning – Happy Wednesday!

History Made. Thanks, President Obama

Big news: The U.S. & China just announced new targets to cut carbon pollution → http://t.co/pW5LQYzFRr #ActOnClimate pic.twitter.com/r2JtIKzes3

— White House Archived (@ObamaWhiteHouse) November 12, 2014

BREAKING: The US and China Just Announced a Huge Deal on Climate—and it's a Gamechanger http://t.co/88HaE2V6z9

— Mother Jones (@MotherJones) November 12, 2014

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FACT: President Obama just set a new target to cut U.S. carbon pollution by 26-28% by 2025. #ActOnClimate pic.twitter.com/HU2ODbxsXS

— White House Archived (@ObamaWhiteHouse) November 12, 2014

Massive climate news tonight between US and China.... here's our take for @ClimateDesk: http://t.co/nEUHJZAbEG

— James West (@jameswest2010) November 12, 2014

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This is a big deal: "with China committing for the first time to cap carbon emissions" http://t.co/K1t26dMqy6

— Shane Goldmacher (@ShaneGoldmacher) November 12, 2014

Republicans have long argued that U.S. shouldn't act on climate until China does. China is acting: http://t.co/5fOnhFSi3O

— Andrew Restuccia (@AndrewRestuccia) November 12, 2014

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https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/532387984344383489

https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/532390641058476032

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https://twitter.com/NerdyWonka/status/532386435492372482

GOP licking their chops thinking they can dismantle PBO's CO2 emission orders, then he makes an even more stringent goal with China. Chess.

— Propane Jane™ 🔥💣 (@docrocktex26) November 12, 2014

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Big news: The U.S. & China just announced new targets to cut carbon pollution → http://t.co/DtVfKqwdyI #ActOnClimate pic.twitter.com/ocxRRHSC4E

— Brian Deese NARA (@Deese44) November 12, 2014

Obama announces climate change agreement with China to cut greenhouse gas emissions by nearly a third by 2025. http://t.co/Inv92Rec8x

— CNN Breaking News (@cnnbrk) November 12, 2014

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President Obama & President Xi make new pledges to cut US & Chinese greenhouse gas emissions - White House officials http://t.co/ugHRsMPrlc

— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) November 12, 2014

President Obama and Chinese President Xi Jinping announce a breakthrough on climate change: http://t.co/8lqNcPt958

— Los Angeles Times (@latimes) November 12, 2014

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https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/532402483801628672

https://twitter.com/theonlyadult/status/532397308197883904

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So the only people left on planet Earth who don't believe in climate change are Republicans? http://t.co/De3nHJJbSE

— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) November 12, 2014

You know it's bad when smog covered China is to the left of the GOP on climate change.

— Propane Jane™ 🔥💣 (@docrocktex26) November 12, 2014

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https://twitter.com/Lib_Librarian/status/532397594220064769

https://twitter.com/TheObamaDiary/status/532395475752607744

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BREAKING: Obama sets goal to cut US greenhouse gas emissions by at least 26 percent by 2025.

— The Associated Press (@AP) November 12, 2014

Breaking: U.S., China unveil plans to curb emissions of gases linked to climate change. http://t.co/QhXk0i9AN1

— The Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) November 12, 2014

More: US and China unveil new climate change goals: http://t.co/3JifI4SQN9

— The Associated Press (@AP) November 12, 2014