Saturday Calls For Laughter

GOOD COP: Crazy girlfriend? I know how THAT is BAD COP: He's trying to get on your side so you confess GOOD COP: Jesus Christ, Frank

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pattymorgue (@pattymo) October 25, 2014

before mcdonald's i bet "don't buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule

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frankenmustard (@nice_mustard) July 18, 2012

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The person who first discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT. THE FUCK. IS GOING ON!!"

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Jazmasta (@jazmasta) October 10, 2013

[Bomb will explode in 26 seconds] *googles "how to defuse a bomb"* *clicks top result* *it's a 17-page slideshow.* GODDAMMIT *an ad plays*

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Damned O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) October 14, 2014

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Married men enjoy sex with their wives. Use sarcastic air quotes when saying any word in this sentence it's instantly funny

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Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) October 25, 2014

me: what a lovely day! even the flowers are singing! flowers (singing): the sins of our forefathers bind us to the dirt

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your good friend max (@maxlavergne) October 16, 2014

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So I'm just supposed to know that you can't eat the outside of the pineapple, like I'm some sort of scientist

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audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) May 23, 2014

flight attendant: as u can see the captain has turned on the no murdering sign [guy next to me is still murdering someone] me: um excuse me

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slick (@fanofhell) October 17, 2014

A Tweet Or Two

250k Jobs/month, 3-4% growth, 11million w/ health insurance, Auto, Housing Turned Around, Domestic Oil production @ all time high,2wars over

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Wendell Pierce (@WendellPierce) November 01, 2014

American Recovery Act a success, unemployment from 10% to 6%. President Obama has saved this nation. Remember where we were Jan.2009.

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Wendell Pierce (@WendellPierce) November 01, 2014

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If the Republicans win Tuesday this recovery ends, we return to recession policies, and Gov't treasury will be privatized for the wealthy

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Wendell Pierce (@WendellPierce) November 01, 2014

Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, FDIC protection, GI Bill, Veterans benefits are all iconic American policy. All created by Democrats

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Wendell Pierce (@WendellPierce) November 01, 2014

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http://t.co/1m6MZLibQo

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miles reed (@milesjreed) November 01, 2014

If you don't tell people you're voting, how will they know you're better than them? facebook.com/events/1534591… http://t.co/GMAYcgnsQv

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  (@LOLGOP) November 01, 2014

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First Lady with a volunteer during a surprise visit to the Scott County Democratic Party phone bank in Davenport pic.twitter.com/feDKXVbMKL

— TheObamaDiary.com (@TheObamaDiary) November 1, 2014

President: "I don't know if you noticed, Obamacare works – pretty soon, they won't call it Obamacare anymore. Ha ha." pic.twitter.com/mf8XgQ6gMA

— TheObamaDiary.com (@TheObamaDiary) November 1, 2014

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Republicans tried to suppress the black vote in North Carolina. It's not working. motherjones.com/politics/2014/…

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David Corn (@DavidCornDC) October 31, 2014

The auto industry added 370,000+ jobs since 2009! Remember->GOP fought this! #KeepCalmVoteDem #1u #economy #fem2 http://t.co/3YITdgiQ3t

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BLUE Grassroots Win (@bluerootswin) November 01, 2014

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Mike Brown's mom is taking her son's case to the UN in Geneva: bit.ly/13pyLox http://t.co/Y70a7RML9L

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VICE News (@vicenews) November 01, 2014

What a Republican-controlled Senate would mean for the climate thkpr.gs/3586676 http://t.co/SHstGGJBst

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ThinkProgress (@thinkprogress) October 31, 2014

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“New York Times says Dems are 2nd guessing their strategy.” “Which Dems?” … “uh…” … “Which Dems say that?” “The New York Times?”

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Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) November 01, 2014

I'm shocked the guy who set the record for leading the most filibusters would ever try to stop anyone from voting. wkyt.com/wymt/home/head…

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  (@LOLGOP) November 01, 2014

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Next up on Fox News: President Obama lures children to pagan festival at the White House. http://t.co/iHsdn9eVUk photo via @petesouza

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Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 01, 2014

Obama to GOP: Win, lose, doesn't matter. Obamacare isn't going anywhere. #GOTV #VETO Via: politicususa.com/2014/10/31/oba… http://t.co/UB7B6bNwt2

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Steve Marmel (@Marmel) October 31, 2014

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Settle down, Dems http://t.co/VFMyBVe4mo

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  (@pourmecoffee) November 01, 2014

Once upon a time everybody freaked the f--k out about Ebola, but then they eventually calmed down. The End. http://t.co/NzjN4LBlX6

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  (@pourmecoffee) November 01, 2014

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Your College GameDay Sign of the Day (^@bubbaprog) http://t.co/G4orSzJD0J

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  (@pourmecoffee) November 01, 2014

Son want to see a magic trick? "Sure Dad" *hands son a note that says MOVE OUT YOU JOBLESS LOSER* I just turned you into a homeless person

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būč|{¥ |$0+øp€ (@BuckyIsotope) November 01, 2014

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[1864] *sends carrier pigeon* ＭＹ ＤＥＡＲＥＳＴ ＢＥＴＨ…Ｉ'Ｄ ＲＡＴＨＥＲ ＴＯＩＬ ＦＯＲＥＶＥＲ ＩＮ ＨＥＬＬ ＴＨＡＮ ＢＥ ＡＰＡＲＴ ＡＮＯＴＨＥＲ ＤＡＹ *pigeon returns* ＮＥＷ ＰＩＧＥＯＮ ＷＨＯ ＤＩＳ

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Blind Chow (@BlindChow) October 31, 2014

[at restaurant] "check, please!" [waiter leans over] sir, again, there are no monsters under the table "ok....goodnight" wait what

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eric (@dubstep4dads) October 30, 2014

President Obama Speaks At A Rally In Michigan

Live streaming has started

7:0 EDT (approx!): President Obama speaks at a rally at Wayne State University, Michigan for Gary Peters and Mark Schauer

Chat Away

Rise and Shine

On This Day: President Barack Obama kisses a baby on the tarmac following his arrival at Denver International Airport in Denver, Colo., Nov. 1, 2012 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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Today

First Lady Michelle Obama speaks at a rally for Gov. Pat Quinn, Sen. Dick Durbin and Rep. Cheri Bustos in Moline, Illinois (Doors open 12:0 EDT)

7:0 EDT: President Obama will speak at a rally at Wayne State University, Michigan for Gary Peters and Mark Schauer

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Tomorrow

The President travels to Bridgeport, Connecticut for an event with Dan Malloy and other Connecticut Democrats.

Later, he will travel to Philadelphia to attend a campaign event for Tom Wolf and other Pennsylvania Democrats.

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Heart. Melted.

Here’s my #1 reason to #GOTV4Dems this weekend. They stole the show on Halloween. #GrandbabiesRTheBest #VoteBlue2014 pic.twitter.com/WxdFMp9Scb

— Donna NoShock (@NoShock) November 1, 2014

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Found a better quality version of this photo from yesterday, love it so much:

A boy dressed as a college graduate looks up at President Barack Obama as the president greets costumed trick-or-treaters during Halloween festivities by the South Portico of the White House.

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On This Day

President Obama watches a televised football game in a holding room before a campaign rally at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J., Nov. 1, 2009 (Photo by Chuck Kennedy)

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Janet Kavandi, Director of Flight Crew Operations at Johnson Space Center, presents President Obama with a jacket during a drop by with the crew of the Space Shuttle Atlantis in the Oval Office, Nov. 1, 2011 (Photo by Pete Souza)

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VP Biden in Muscatine, November 1, 2012 (Photo by Christopher Dilts for Obama for America)

Las Vegas, November 1, 2012 (Photo by Scout Tufankjian)

Boulder, November 1, 2012 (Photo by Scout Tufankjian)

Boulder, November 1, 2012 (Photo by Scout Tufankjian)

Boulder, November 1, 2012 (Photo by Scout Tufankjian)

Green Bay, November 1, 2012 (Photo by Scout Tufankjian)

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MoooOOOooorning!

Early Bird Chat

On This Day: First Lady Michelle Obama hugs a young girl during a “Get Out The Vote” rally at Canyon Springs High School in Las Vegas, Nev., Nov. 1, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Samantha Appleton)

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MoooOOOooorning – Happy Saturday!