Goodbye Wednesday. Hello Laughter

when u wake up early in the morning and u sit on the edge of ur bed like http://t.co/Q8VKLcNU9s

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sassy moon (@asassymoon) October 23, 2014

My dating profile clearly stated that I was a dog person. I'm sorry you were misled, but please tuck my tail back into my pants for us both.

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  (@Thynebear) October 14, 2014

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My favorite parts of the Bible are when Jesus is alone talking to God (himself) and someone who wasn't there is writing about it.

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  (@Sarcasticsapien) September 30, 2014

Media: There's a new Ebola case in NYC, but DON'T PANIC! Me: But, nobody is panicki... Media: WE SAID, DON'T PANIC!!!!!!

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Rock (@TheMichaelRock) October 24, 2014

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I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.

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Steve Suckington (@SteveSuckington) September 18, 2014

So many morons, not enough natural selection.

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Alley Cat (@deardilettante) October 22, 2014

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7: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check? Me: I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th.

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Sam DeLanche (@SamDeLanche) February 03, 2014

Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house but that fly is dead.

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Abhorrent Housewife (@abhorrent_wife) July 23, 2013

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It's so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you're just playing.

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Notorious P.U.G. (@LuvPug) June 05, 2014

911: What's your emergency? Me: Calm down drama queen, I'm fine. But you should probably send someone quick. This guy's bleeding profusely.

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  (@Sarcasticsapien) October 21, 2014

The President’s Day

Ebola suvivor Dr. Kent Brantly is applauded by President Barack Obama

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Healthcare professionals listen as President Barack Obama speaks about the government’s Ebola response

With her children sleeping by her lap, Amber Brantly, wife of Ebola survivor Dr. Kent Brantly, listens during an event attended by her husband and other American health care workers fighting Ebola as President Barack Obama speaks about Ebola

A Tweet Or Two

#Obama has hugged and kissed more US #Ebola patients, and drs/nurses who treated them, than probably any American > abcn.ws/1vh1pyM

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  (@devindwyer) October 29, 2014

Obama gets a lot of flak for his crisis management skills. That's mostly because the media isn't paying attention. on.tnr.com/1zJoSAz

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Danny Vinik (@DannyVinik) October 29, 2014

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Mitt Romney says Bush stabilized the economy. Weird how layoffs kept growing until the Stimulus passed. http://t.co/3cNFUfx6xC

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  (@LOLGOP) October 29, 2014

The Pope has more faith in science than your average Republican politician. Via @rebleber newrepublic.com/article/120024…

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Jonathan Cohn (@CitizenCohn) October 29, 2014

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Souls to the Polls: It's real, and it shows up in the numbers on Sunday nytimes.com/2014/10/30/ups… http://t.co/4wBPJSSTWV

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Nate Cohn (@Nate_Cohn) October 29, 2014

The impossible ordeal a Texas man had to complete in order to exercise his right to vote thkpr.gs/3585751 http://t.co/6syVrFDJTa

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ThinkProgress (@thinkprogress) October 29, 2014

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Yes. This is what Obama Derangement Syndrome looks like

Poll: Louisiana GOPers unsure if Katrina response was Obama's fault bit.ly/1wE2Zha

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Talking Points Memo (@TPM) October 29, 2014

Republicans prefer austerity over investment. That's one reason why they are a regressive political party unable to evolve with the times.

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Matt Murphy (@MattMurph24) October 29, 2014

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Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai donates $50,000 prize to help rebuild Gaza schools nbcnews.to/1wDirdD http://t.co/UFuuIspJxb

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NBC Nightly News (@NBCNightlyNews) October 29, 2014

We’re not #Denmark. But we can learn something from that nation about how #wages are set: wapo.st/1sEDPtS

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Jared Bernstein (@econjared) October 29, 2014

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#ThingsPelosiWillDo: Protect #ObamaCare, fight for immigration reform, fight to #RaiseTheWage, fight for the 99%. http://t.co/NcgKl6tSNj

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Nerdy Wonka (@NerdyWonka) October 29, 2014

GOP: If you want free reproductive health care and a consequence-free sex life, be born a man.

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  (@LOLGOP) October 29, 2014

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6 million Americans won't be able to vote this election because of felon disenfranchisement laws washingtonpost.com/blogs/govbeat/…

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Ari Berman (@AriBerman) October 29, 2014

Contra Harvard study, NBC/WSJ/Annenberg poll has interviewed whopping 4,368 LVs this fall. Among 18-29s, it's 51% Dem, 41% GOP

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Mark Murray (@mmurraypolitics) October 29, 2014

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Clean energy is exciting right now. gigaom.com/2014/10/29/a-b…

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Michael Grunwald (@MikeGrunwald) October 29, 2014

1 Ebola death and people want to punish the people fighting it. Wait till they hear 30,000 Americans die from gunshots each year.

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  (@LOLGOP) October 29, 2014

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what about candy spinach "no" maybe candy broccoli? "no" ok i've got it. candy CORN "jeff if we give you this one will you shut the fuck up"

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frankenmustard (@nice_mustard) October 29, 2014

Son, do you know why we named you The Bass? "Because-" BECAUSE WE DROPPED YOU A LOT AS A CHILD *mom runs in for high five*

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būč|{¥ |$0+øp€ (@BuckyIsotope) October 29, 2014

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It is close enough to Halloween that if you listen carefully tonight you will hear your skeleton anxiously rattling for freedom.

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Starbucks Bootista (@hamsandcastle) October 28, 2014

SON: Dad, you went out for cigarettes and haven't come back yet. We're getting worried. *30 years later* DAD: New phone who dis

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būč|{¥ |$0+øp€ (@BuckyIsotope) October 27, 2014

President Speaks to American Health Care Workers Fighting Ebola

3:40 EDT: President Obama Speaks to American Health Care Workers Fighting Ebola

Chat Away

Video here

Rise and Shine

On This Day: President Obama smiles while speaking during the 36th annual National Italian American Foundation Gala, October 29, 2011, in Washington, DC

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Today (all times Eastern)

12:45: White House Press Briefing

1:35: The President meets with members of his public health and national security teams on the government’s Ebola response, Situation Room

3:40: Delivers remarks on Ebola, East Room

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The Week Ahead

Thursday: The President travels to Portland, Maine to attend a DNC roundtable and a campaign event for Mike Michaud and other Maine Democrats. He will then travel to Providence, Rhode Island where he will remain overnight

Friday: Delivers remarks at Rhode Island College – they will focus on the economy and the importance of pursuing policies that help women succeed. He will then return to Washington, DC. In the evening, the President and First Lady will welcome local children and children of military families to a trick or treat at the White House

Saturday: Travels to the Detroit area to attend a campaign event for Gary Peters and Mark Schauer

Sunday: Travels to Bridgeport, Connecticut for an event with Dan Malloy and other Connecticut Democrats. Later, he will travel to Philadelphia to attend a campaign event for Tom Wolf and other Pennsylvania Democrats

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We just hit a major milestone: more than ONE MILLION Americans have taken the pledge to be a #GunSense voter! pic.twitter.com/3j6zRmER3J

— Everytown (@Everytown) October 29, 2014

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On This Day

President Obama rests his foot on a desk as he talks with Phil Schiliro, assistant to the President for legislative affairs, in the Outer Oval Office, Oct. 29, 2009 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama greets Girl Scouts prior to a signing ceremony for the Girl Scouts USA Centennial Commemorative Coin Act in the Oval Office, Oct. 29, 2009 (Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama attends a ceremony at Dover Air Force Base in Dover, Del., Oct. 29, 2009, for the dignified transfer of 18 U.S. personnel who died in Afghanistan (Photo by Pete Souza)

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President Obama waits with first lady Michelle Obama and her mother Marian Robinson to great trick or treaters at the White House, October 29, 2011

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MoooOOOooorning!

Early Bird Chat

On This Day: Sen. Obama and his vice presidential running mate Sen. Biden at a rally in Sunrise, Fla., Oct. 29, 2008

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MoooOOOooorning – Happy Wednesday!