Ever get the feeling that Netflix are trying to tell you something? pic.twitter.com/JY9MtCpH3M
— Jamie Jones (@JamieDMJ) October 7, 2014
https://twitter.com/tom_illusion/status/519247242969231360
****
To catch a grandpa, you must THINK like a grandpa *eats butterscotch candy, clicks on obvious spam email*
— Jason (@longwall26) August 12, 2014
Oh really, Carol? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take you to mind your own business
— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) October 6, 2014
****
Ebola is transmitted through blood and saliva so I better stop punching my haters so hard and smooching all these gorgeous babes
— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) October 2, 2014
"I have a hard time with faces. One time I mistook a wolf for my dead grandmother LOL!"
— Vault 69 Boy (@aka_fatman) October 5, 2014
- Little Red Riding Hood, talking to a coat rack.
****
Baby Lawyer: Did you steal the victim's nose?
— Hoppers the Fullsterkur (@FrogAvalanche) August 30, 2014
Accused: No. *cries into palms
Baby Judge: O, great, he's disappeared again.
I messed up pic.twitter.com/5XMi5VPqCe
— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) May 5, 2014
****
The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) September 30, 2014
What do I look for in a girl? Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) September 4, 2014
****
Some people say America is obese, but I blame our flag. Everyone knows that horizontal stripes make you look fatter.
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) September 2, 2014
ADVICE FOR NEW COLLEGE STUDENTS: Study hard, follow your dreams, and try not to think about how you'll be broke and unemployed in 4 years.
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) August 18, 2014
****
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) July 19, 2014
Honestly Officer, I do have a few ideas as to why I'd get pulled over, but I'm kind of afraid to tell you. Let's both say it on 1-2-3, ok?
— Sad Peruna (@SadPeruna) December 9, 2012
@SadPeruna @RobElliottComic Have had similar conversation with local Officer... My response got my car searched...
— 00000 (@off_momma) June 18, 2013
****
https://twitter.com/man_spach/status/507974607815839744
*puts seashell up to ear*
— Vault 69 Boy (@aka_fatman) July 27, 2014
Me: I think I can hear the ocea-
Seashell: Seven days. You will die in seven days.
Me: (to friend) It's for you.
****
"Daddy will u tuck me in?:)"
— Hitmonjake (@jakelikesnaps) July 31, 2013
"Ok"
*tucks him in*
"Daddy sing me a song:)"
"Ok"
*clears throat*
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES H
"The day you were born was the best day of my life."
— matt (@shadygrenade) May 31, 2014
Dad that's so swee-
"Shut up and let me finish. The McRib had just come back...
The Obama Diary 
Evening all
Congrats John š
NW – once again I’ll be laughing out loud as I move to the kitchen to prepare dinner!! Thank you.
BTW, I see amk has posted a few š š š gems, as well. Quite a hilarious night at the TOD corral.
You’re welcome, Bob.
Hey Japa! Congratulations on your great victory, Sir! š
Evening, sir. Very nicely done.
For Dudette, swbluega, eveingeorgia and everyone else in that beautiful state:
https://twitter.com/Nate_Cohn/status/522145145958182912
2014 is *not* 2010. #LandslideDems2014
Agree, Arapaho. 2014 is NOT 2010!
#OWNthe114th
Yes We Can
Thanks! How about that? Almost 90,000 votes since yesterday and 30% of them didn’t vote in the last mid-term.
Woooot! Go Georgia!
Oops, a transposition by @nate_cohn (previous tweet deleted).
But not bad…
Thanks for sharing. I hope this is an indication of how the next three weeks will go and that this momentum will continue to build. I can see the blue light at the end of the tunnel! š Turn Georgia Blue!!!
Hello and Good night all. Great and hilarious tweets, NW!
You’re welcome, PJ.
Really appreciate you!!!
Awwww….thank you so much.
PJ! Haven’t seen you in a while š Hope all is well with you. Have a good night.
Hi ((((HF2))))! Great to see you still going strong, fierce, and fiesty! ♥ ♥ ♥
you gotta mind your words, LL.
LOL.
Wow, even Clay Aiken has a chanceā¦ 14% Undecided
http://www.politico.com/p/polls/person/latest/clay-aiken#.VD3gm_ldX1Y
I was swayed by his intro video.
Hope he wins, seems like a *genuinely* nice guy, one who is truly interested in helping people, unlike GOP candidates who seem to only get into politics to feed their ego and their bank accounts.
Didn’t use to be that way. I voted for Pete McCloskey in 1972 GOP Primary (got recruited at dorm to register Republican specifically to vote for him — back then, CA was winner-take-all, and a primary win here actually meant something to Presidential races.
McCloskey is still around, bless him, and he still seems like a *genuinely* nice guy. This being California, he was pro-choice — I think you have to go back to Reagan to find a CA politician who has won state-wide office without being pro-choice.
I hope he wins too. Haven’t followed his race very much, but what little I’ve seen of him related to the campaign, he strikes me as sincere.
My BF from NC thinks he’s clueless. I told her clueless, but sincere and nice beats ANY Republican in my book.
LOL! “Let the bodies hit the floor” Hahahahaha!!! š
I know right?
That tweet had me clutching my sides from laughing so hard. Especially if one knows the song. š
For real. I was just imagining some shocked young face. š
It’s your fault. I’m compelled to post this to enlighten the unwashed masses. š
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Well done and thank you, Miss Dudette! It’s hard to comprehend that people haven’t heard this song. I heard it as a child and the crazy, terrifying yet hilarious aura around the song made it stick. Imagine a child hearing THAT as a bedtime song.
The posting of the video makes the tweet even more hilarious. š
Smiling my most satisfyingly smug smile. š
Ha Ha! You guys are hilarious! I’d forgotten about that song. š
š
IF YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH …. VOTE ….
Oh, yes, most definitely, we have had enough of the #KOCHSTERS …..
#OWNthe114th
WA-08 news: Jason Ritchie is a progressive Democrat running a very, very strong campaign. The incumbent GOPer Dave Reichert is disliked and Pres Obama won this district in 2008, 2012. Polling shows itās winnable. Jason met VP Joe at Senator Maria Cantwellās Women Of Valor luncheon.
Washington voters have their ballots mailed to them, itās a matter of motivating them and letting them know about Jason. Reichert has outraised Jason by a HUGE margin and in spite of that Newt Gingrich headlined a fundraising dinner for Reichert. The GOP wants him to be the next governor. Jason would be wonderful in the House and as a bonus it would be a huge plus to show the GOP to the door and send Reichert home.
Here’s @LATimes’ take, which was featured on their homepage yesterday evening.
Thanks, Arapaho. I’ve read that the US is the number one global producer of oil and is a stabilizing influence. I credit Pres Obama, but I don’t know where the link is. What I would like from this is that Putin faces reality, gives up on his Napoleon complex and withdraws from Ukraine. I’ve read some other signs of problems in Russian economy. He’s been cozying up with China who also is having economic problems. We’ll see how that works out.
Is this the article you were referencing (it will celebrate its 1-year birthday tomorrow, LOL).
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/10/15/us-oil-pira-idUSL1N0I51IX20131015
“It was the latest milestone for the U.S. oil sector caused by the shale revolution, which has upended global oil trade. While still the largest consumer of fuel, the rise of cheap crude available to domestic refiners has turned the United States into a significant exporter of gasoline and distillate fuels.”
It was more recent, but this one gives excellent facts. Thanks for the link!
Apparently only “grandpa” (Per the tweet: To catch a grandpa, you must THINK like a grandpa *eats butterscotch candy, clicks on obvious spam email*) opens obvious spam email, not grandma. When I get the obvious spam email from somebody I know, I email them and ask if they sent it. Of course, I’ve already deleted it, so what does it matter?
#LifeInTheBigCity #WhoDoesntLoveButterscotch #GoGrandpa
Hahahahaha. Go Grandma!
Well, darlin’, I made you laugh. I can almost call it a day. But Grandma’s not that tired yet! š
I think VPOTUS would like this one. Hi Mr. Vice President! Judith’s friends here! We love you! š
Dudette – our Joe totally would!
š Hey Superstar! š
Here’s one for Chips, that she’ll never see. š
Speaking of Seamus, wasn’t that the name of the dog Mitt Romney quarantined above his traveling car for 9 hours BEFORE Ebola? I hope that dog is still around to see his master Mitsy lose another election.
You are so right NCLB! I think this calls for a re-post of this priceless pic (never done this before, hope this works):
Hilarious!
LOL!
Good one š
I have never, ever known a president that worked as hard as Pres. Obama. Not only for this country and for the world, but for Democrats. He’s amazing.
Indeed, indeed.
Agree totally, TME. We sure are lucky to have him for two terms, and by “we” I mean this country and the world. Even those who don’t recognize this get to benefit from his hard work, intelligence, determination and compassion.
Democrats have been playing the smart ground game. Keep looking for evidence, it’s there.
This article is really “in the weeds” on the details of polling and explains *why* it’s absolutely ridiculous that MSM breathlessly report polling results.
Speaking for myself, I don’t have a landline, and I’ve provided a phone number when I’ve registered to vote.
This interview was in response to this poll:
Oops, meant to say I’ve *never* provided a phone number when I’ve registered to vote. š¦
Where is amk’s two-headed lizard that I had asked him to set loose on Turtle McConnell?
Dunno. But I’m guessing even a lizard wouldn’t want to get anywhere near Turtle McConnell.
Just caught up on the previous post and saw that tweet LL posted about how apparently Chris Matthews says he voted for Bush in 2000. Wow…just… wow. This reminds me of something I heard Ohio Senator Nina Turner say awhile ago. I wrote it down, it resonated with me so much and it applies to Chris Matthews and MSNBC in general:
“You know, my grandmother used to say, ‘You can put truth in the river five days after a lie; truth gonna catch up'”.
I hope she wins Secretary of State!
Amen to all of that!
Some kind of a blue Scottish plaid in space?
š
Thinking I should show some sense of responsibility and go to bed, so ‘Toodle-di-doo, folks! ‘Til we meet again.’
#chicken
Bts, there wasn’t enough space to include ‘AMK’, but you can still get the message
#missionaccomplished
Did you watch the Colbert vid clip?
Byyyyeee!
did, tweeted.
Stephen Colbert and the Republican wedding dress
http://crooksandliars.com/2014/10/colbert-makes-mockery-college-republicans?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter
Vc, thanks for sharing this. Colbert is a genius. This is some of the best written stuff he’s ever done (IMHO) and he’s done some real gems. I’ve got to share this one.
good night TOD
#OWNthe114th …. anything less is unacceptable.
Yes We Can
Gooooooooooood Morning,,,,,TOD…..on my way to see FLOTUS!!!!!!!!…… š š
Good morning, PF!
I can feel your smile all the way in NYC!
I know you cannot believe this.
Be safe and keep smiling.
Good morning, TOD!
Thank you for all the great post and music here.
Have a wonderful Wednesday!
The days, weeks, months are moving entirely too fast!
Hold up! Wait a minute….it’s Wednesday already!
Moooooorning!
http://theobamadiary.com/2014/10/15/early-bird-chat-382/
Nerdy, that’s the best collection of hilarity yet! Lol, I emailed the post to a few friends – too many to retweet!
Thanks, Forus50.