Laugh Friday Away

Me: Excuse me sir, what's your Wi-Fi password?

Him: *[Leans in] *[Whispers angrily]
THIS IS A FUNERAL

Me: *[Types in]
THIS IS A FUNERAL

— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) June 14, 2014

https://twitter.com/bakedbrotatoes/status/503612427301584896

****

[zombie movie set]

Director into megaphone: "We're about to start rolling. Look alive people!"

*actors look around confused as heck*

— Brandon the Cow (@Brampersandon_) August 20, 2014

https://twitter.com/EJGomez/status/422936466235219968

****

https://twitter.com/George_404/status/452509853542801409

https://twitter.com/DillDoes/status/479491488049410049

****

https://twitter.com/DillDoes/status/471155489771110400

https://twitter.com/EJGomez/status/499398557783183363

****

Why don't you make like a tree and use photosynthesis to turn sunlight into energy, then use that energy to fuck off

— Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) May 8, 2014

*Kool-Aid Man bursts through the wall of his family home*

"OH YEAAAH- OH NOOOOOOOOOO"

*his wife is in straddling a Capri Sun in their bed*

— Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) July 8, 2014

****

If a bear attacks you, play dead. Unless you're already dead then play something else like ghost chess.

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) August 16, 2013

*jumps on table and fires gun in the air*

"Everybody down!"

*everyone drops*

"I didn't say..."

*loads another mag*

"Simon says"

— Knipples (@StevieKnip) April 22, 2014

****

https://twitter.com/EJGomez/status/398925524350672898

My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn't act the way he wanted.

— noog (@noog) May 31, 2012

****

[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye]
"Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) June 1, 2014

*Robber runs into Chipotle*
GIMME THE MONEY IN THE REGISTER
"Is this for here or to go?"
Uh. To go
"Do you want guac?"
Sure
"It's extra"

— Nickeldoodle (@nickeldoodle) September 6, 2014

A Tweet Or Two

"When I took office, the deficit was nearly 10% of our economy. Today, it’s under 3%." —President Obama #AmericaLeads pic.twitter.com/OQr6ex9rzi

— White House Archived (@ObamaWhiteHouse) October 9, 2014

Today in #Energy: Net energy imports as share of consumption at lowest level in 29 years http://t.co/MF5RmE3X9a pic.twitter.com/0VLuozF625

— EIA (@EIAgov) October 10, 2014

****

"Why I'm betting on you to help shape the American economy." —President Obama to young Americans on @Medium: https://t.co/adyHhClSlO

— White House Archived (@ObamaWhiteHouse) October 9, 2014

“Why I’m Betting on You to Help Shape the New American Economy” —President Barack Obama addresses young Americans. https://t.co/hk3eHGi2DI

— Medium (@Medium) October 9, 2014

****

LISTEN: Michelle Howard shares insights about her path in the Navy #AfAmEdChat http://t.co/R4Q4mA4cO3 via @nprnews pic.twitter.com/7E6hQrlCXs

— WH Black Initiative (@AfAmEducation) October 10, 2014

https://twitter.com/CHlLDHOODRUINER/status/520457819548422145

****

https://twitter.com/AdamSerwer/status/520609567626256385

https://twitter.com/AdamSerwer/status/520620713443868672

****

First Lady Michelle Obama at Bruce Braley rally

Live now (4:45 EDT)

(The rally is now over)

President Obama Speaks at Frank G Bonelli Regional Park

3:40 EDT: President Obama Speaks at Frank G. Bonelli Regional Park

TOD Toon Time

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

That’s all folks. Have a good weekend.

***

Rise and Shine

On This Day: President Barack Obama visits a wounded warrior for a Purple Heart presentation at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., Oct. 10, 2011 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

Today (all times PT)

10:40: The President attends a DNC fundraiser, private residence, Los Angeles

12:40: Delivers remarks at Frank G Bonelli Regional Park, San Dimas, California

2:20: Departs Los Angeles

3:30: Arrives San Francisco

7:05: Delivers remarks at a DNC fundraiser, San Francisco

* The First Lady will speak at rallies for US Senate candidate Gary Peters and gubernatorial hopeful Mark Schauer in Detroit, and later in Des Moines, at a rally for US Senate Candidate Bruce Braley, who is seeking to fill Tom Harkin’s seat.

****

****

On This Day

 

President Obama talks to Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in the Oval Office, on Saturday, Oct. 10, 2009 (Photo by Pete Souza)

****

Pete Souza: “Nicky DeParle, son of Deputy Chief of Staff Nancy-Ann DeParle, was in the White House to visit his mother one afternoon on a school holiday. The President took a break between meetings to have a power bar with Nicky and check on how he was doing.” Oct. 10, 2011

****

MoooOOOooorning again everyone!

Early Bird Chat

Randomness: Michelle and Craig

****

MoooOOOooorning – Happy Friday!