*shakes wife awake*
*whispers*
Karen. Karen! Don't make any sudden moves...he's back again. http://t.co/4Xb5jPfXPL
—
Lazer Cat (@Laser_Cat) August 20, 2014APPLE: Have you ever been kayaking?
2ND APPLE: No.
APPLE: I hear it's really good for your core.
2ND APPLE: I don't want to be in this tweet
—
Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) September 20, 2014****
Son you're grounded
BUT MOM
*dad walks in*
*son whispers in dad's ear*
*dad nods*
Sorry hon he's invoked bros before hos. Grounding revoked.
—
Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) September 17, 2014*travels back in time to middle ages*
Me: and this is penicillin it-
Villagers:SHOW US THAT EMOJI AGAIN I LIKE THE 1 WITH THE SUNGLASSES
—
Sad Tree (@sad_tree) August 24, 2014****
*points to menu*
"is the chicken natural?"
[back in the kitchen a chicken with breasts spilling out of her top is chased by the chef]
yes
—
Brent (@murrman5) September 19, 2014Mom, Dad, I'm going to be a magician. Let me show you a trick-
*dad interrupts*
IS IT THE ONE WHERE YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING LAID DISAPPEAR
—
Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) September 19, 2014****
*gives up seat on bus for an old lady*
*whispers in her ear*
"This isn't over"
—
Jazmasta (@jazmasta) July 02, 2014Uncle Ned was a good man who was taken from us far too soon by emphysema. You might say…
"Dan-"
he went from coughin'-
"DAN, NO!"
to coffin
—
dan mentos (@DanMentos) September 19, 2014****
"You can tell me anything, son. I will always love you."
"I break the pasta before boiling it."
"Farewell, little barbarian."
—
Jason Miller (@longwall26) September 18, 2014"Hello what's your emergency"
OMG IT'S MY DAD HE ISN'T BREATHING
"haha jk this is pizza hut"
NOT cool bro...ok lemee get a large meat lovers
—
dan mentos (@DanMentos) September 20, 2014****
I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
—
eric (@dubstep4dads) September 13, 2014*looks down at my shirt*
you got something against AC/DC?
"no"
then can I continue?
"I suppose"
dearly beloved, we are gathered here today t
—
Brent (@murrman5) September 18, 2014****
Duck internet search history:
Bread
Bread pudding?
what is "breadwinner"
how to become breadwinner
where to win bread
Duck boobs
Free bread
—
Marin Hubka (@marinhubka) July 30, 2014iggy azalea makes music for girls who are doing community service for stealing earrings from claires
—
(@dubstep4dads) August 12, 2014****
man...im so hungry i could-
*i catch eye contact with a horse*
"you could what?"
*shows his gun*
i could.. eat a sandwich
"thought so."
—
cool as h*ck turtle (@dubstep4dads) June 05, 2013Karen?
"Yes?"
*gets down on one knee*
Will you...
*gasp*
...please learn to tie your own fucking laces for gods sake...you're 38.
—
GoaT FacE ThrillA (@EndhooS) June 10, 2014
The Obama Diary 
Thanks nerdy
You’re welcome, Vetivera24.
These were really funny.
Yay! Glad you enjoyed them.
Congrats, vetivera 🙂
‘sell the sea shells at the sea shore ….. idiot.’ 😀 😀 😀 great selection, NW, as noted below.
I particularly find that tweet apropos of the latest, real-time display of galactic stupidity by #NEWSTAINERS, #GOP & those who own them – all made ever more obvious, again, in the past couple of hours by the actions of our President Obama.
I admire, respect, and love our President Obama, in case I haven’t mentioned that today.
Right there with you on that one, Jacqueline!!!!!
Thanks, Sir Bob.
Your statement is correct.
Thanks NW …. and we all know that #Daesh are ending their day just the way they should ….
Oh the questions to ask about that phone call.
I’m surprised Boehner was available by phone. I’ve been to some of those D.C. taverns, and they don’t necessarily acknowledge you’re “there.”
Good one jacqueline! Very funny – thanks for the smile.
Ha. You’re welcome! We gotta laugh at these people, to keep from crying. (I’m also guessing Boehner isn’t in D.C., but was too bored with the thought of him to look it up.)
You did it again, Nerdy Wonka. Excellent Tweets.
Congrats on your Gold, Vetivera.
Those who doubt Pres Obama, always end up with raw eggs on their faces.
Thanks, Nena.
The egg on face crowd never learn.
Never bet against President Obama.
Richard Engel has so much egg plastered all over his face that he’s spinning like a washer on spin cycle. His Twitter TL is chuck full of the US shoulda woulda coulda concern trolling.
So true, hf2!!! I slapped him once though he doesn’t deserve even that much energy 🙂
and just think he still has his head – can’t stand his sorry ass
I am so wide away. Past my bed time over an hour ago. Wow….It looks like I will be suffering from sleep deprivation tomorrow.
Read this again, Nena…maybe you aren’t as awake as you thought:)
Hello DF…..I am tired. I am wide awake. But I know that come tomorrow, my lack of sleep tonight would make me more tired……No doubt about that.
I hope….my explanation is a tad clearer. 😉
No worries, Nena:) Just teasing you…been in that place before myself
Thank yoooooooou Nerdy, they’re flippin’ hilarious!!!!
“You can tell me anything, son. I will always love you.”
“I break the pasta before boiling it.”
“Farewell, little barbarian.”
I will NEVER break pasta again!
Chips I thought you were already in bed. 🙂
Are you suggesting that I’m always asleep when something HUGE happens?!?!?!
🙂
Yes 🙂
Mentioned before that I went back and read the post on the night that bin Laden was killed — a celebratory occasion, but no Chips to celebrate it with. 😦
So funny to read the comments — Chips, WAKE UP!!!
Didn’t work though.
Hahahahahaha.
*We’re watching yooooooooooou*
#VowingNeverToMushMyPastaEverEverEverAgain
Breaking pasta is a crime. You need those long strands to wind around the fork! 🙂 Oh, and no using a big spoon! Wind the noodles against the plate and around the fork as best you can and then put them in your mouth. If any noodle is hanging out, pretend you are a vacuum. 🙂
Why anyone is surprised is an indictment of their bigotry, stupidity, willful ignorance, ….. or some combination of all ….
#TrustBarack
Yep, Chips!
As noted earlier (and more than once because the point has to be made, incessantly, until it sticks):
#TrustBarack
It is amazing that after almost 6 years the MSM and Republicans have absolutely no idea who they’re dealing with. All you have to do is listen rather than project your own views. Then again, the same could be said for many on the left. They complain that he did not prosecute Bush and Co, didn’t go for single payer healthcare, didn’t take down Wall Street and the big banks. Then again, he never said he would do ANY of those things. They simply projected what they wanted to hear on him. And then have the gall to say he is a con artist. But for TOD, many days I would conclude we are living in a nation of idiots:-) And I hope he bombs the hell out of ISIL. Can’t wait to see the dealings at the UN the next couple of days. He’s got a whole lot of nations on the ropes.
🙂 Yes…all of this!
And MIC Senators like Dianne Feinstein.
She had the gall to say “if there’s one thing I’ve learned about this President is that he is cautious…”
When I heard that, my response was “then you’re not a very good listener.”
Not only is PBO “no drama Obama,” he’s also no surprises Obama.
He is the most consistent politician I’ve ever seen, going back 20 plus years.
#TrustBarackHe’sEarnedIt
Totally agree Arapaho. I remember towards the end of the 2008 campaign an audio tape emerged of an interview with PBO when his first book was published. I don’t remember the exact timing now but it was 20+ years ago. What was amazing to me was his positions then in an impromptu interview were nearly identical to what they were during the campaign. I don’t know of any other politician who has been so consistent in his or her views.
Perfection, Foxfire!!!!!
WTF. I can’t believe what I am seeing Bobfr.
As I noted earlier today, COS, on yet another CNN FAIL ….
They may never find bottom, but they are certainly giving it their best effort!
What does that even mean? Shots were fired by someone on base or shots were fired AT the base?
Have no idea…but here’s another tweet:
No…it was shots fired AT Fort Carson…you can get on the base, but you can’t leave…someone on the outside. Because….freedumb, right?
Chips or NW – If you want to delete this tweet, feel free. Didn’t realize the guy’s a TEABAGGER. Sorry!
http://linkis.com/shar.es/qyfPc
Boy, this is really gonna tear the GOP (aka the MIC party) apart.
And all the overpaid pundits who claim that it’s impossible to “dismantle and destroy” ISIS.
PBO once again shows he’s fearless and resolute, despite what that PUMA ingrate Leon Panetta says to sell his book.
PUMA ingrate Leon Panetta ….I’m going to borrow that one….I was ready to throw shoes at my t.v during 60 minutes yesterday. Made the mistake of sticking w/ CBS after the Seahawks/Broncos game…..speaking of which Jordan just officially announced it took part in the strikes via CNNi.
Panetta was awful.
Reminded me of George Tenet when he tried to change “(Iraq) is a slam dunk” history to sell his book.
I gave up my TV, but I listened on the radio — hard to teach old dogs new tricks, LOL — and I was livid at both Panetta and Pelley.
Good Lord. Accidentally flipped to MSNBC, and looks like Rachel’s gone LIVE. Guess she’ll be filling everybody in on the big “war.” Can’t even stand to look at the smirk on her face. *click*
The answer to that rhetorical question is “Yes, the emos always think they know better than this POTUS. But they never actually do.”
Perfect!
My first thought when the news broke around 6:30 pm PDT was that @Maddow would be on her emoprog horse tonight.
No thanks.
Many boomers came of age hating war (which was true in my case). Registering for the draft on boys’ 18th birthday, young men’s fate determined by their date of birth (draft lottery), the sheer senseless waste.
But that was during the cold war era, and we’re now in the Obama Era, which pulls together disparate nations to become allies.
Maddow’s ratings are sure to plunge if she keeps this up.
Agree. Not sure how she keeps her ratings, but unfortunately there are lots of “elitists” out there, just like her. Ugh.
I flipped over right after the MNF game to see who networks would have anchoring.. Chris Hayes was blabbing…switched to CNN Don Lemon & their new former FOX anchor same thing….been watching BBC, AJA, & CNNi for decent objective coverage.
Yep. Nothing “local” and homegrown to watch, for sure!
BTW, I usually enjoy most of the CNNI coverage on most events, but for the time that stupid Rosemary Church suggested “water cannons” be used vice teargas and the like on protesters in Ferguson … totally not knowing or caring about U.S. Civil Rights Movement history. Ugh. Think of it every time I spot her.
Rachel is a riot. She’s gonna sell the global counter-terrorism coalition as a US war if it kills her. She is one vicious bitch and of course she had Greenspan’s catty ho’ andrea mitchell on spewing and spewing
I couldn’t get past the scowl on her face when I had the TV muted and flipped away to another channel … glad I didn’t see her sidekick at arms before going to sleep last night. Eek.
These #NEWSTAINERS are sooooooo vaid!!!
Hint Hint CNN …..
#TrustBarack
vapid not vaid 🙂
Night all.
If reports accurate…..Kuwait makes 6 ……..more detailed Pentagon readouts expected around 2a.m. (targets hit/coalition specific participation)
ROTFLMAO!
Oh zizi, I meant to tell you to that I’ve noticed that since you wrote about the Foley/MSM “collaboration” in making up lies about the administration, I haven’t seen or heard anything more about it from the MSM…
As Jodi Kantor would say: Hmmmm…..
LOL!! awesome
LMAO.
From @JeffersonObama’s twitter feed:
Hysterical!
Okay WeBeDuBois you totally win!!
Going to bed….was watching the Jets/Bears game & ran across this in my TL
😥 😥 😥
Nerdy that tweet about the kid wanting to be a magician and making his chances of getting laid disappear is hilarious!
Some friends once set me up on a blind date with a magician and he actually came to pick me up in a velvet tuxedo. His chances of dating me again disappeared. 🙂
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Curious to know where the F-22s took off from. Range and fuel bingo issues from US Territory.
Closest F-22 base is Tyndall AFB in northern Fl, and Guam.
Just asking?
Cnn just said that only 20 members of ISIS has been killed.
How do they know? Seriously?
They were getting their information from ISIS. Seriously…. I was watching CNN earlier.
They mentioned “unconfirmed.” But they still mentioned the 20, because – you know – it’s not like old-school “confirmed by two sources before mentioning” reporting any more.
Tomahawk missile .
I was watching CNN’s breathless reporting from commentators who knew nothing,zero, zilch, about the bombing events, but nevertheless went on to speculate endlessly about what they thought was happening and what would happen.They even speculated that the U.S. was cooperating with Assad because we might have informed them ahead of time of the strikes, and what a travesty that would be.
They are all breathless, aren’t they? I’m still watching CNN International, too, wondering when that goofball Rosemary Church will say we should have just used “water cannons” on ISIS, like she suggested against the protesters in Ferguson in our country vice teargas, etc.
Yep.
Yep.
If I see one more “What should I ask?” tweet, I’ll [fill in the blank]. Unreal!
“Tonight, the international community has joined our fight against ISIS in Syria. We have called for airstrikes such as those that commenced tonight with a heavy heart and deep concern, as these strikes begin in our own homeland. We insist that utmost care is taken to avoid civilian casualties. Our people have been suffering at the hands of ISIS for over a year. And they endured unparalleled brutality from the Assad regime for three and a half years. Our forces on the ground – the Free Syrian Army – have fought both sources of terror with very little help. We have had some success – in Idlib, in Aleppo, in suburban Damascus. But no army can sustain a fight on two fronts without support.
“Strikes alone cannot defeat extremism for good. We will be implementing an accelerated train and equip program with our partners to ensure the military fight takes place on the ground, and to ensure that there is no need for US or foreign boots on the ground. We will also continue to battle the root cause of the extremism we face – the Assad regime that has actively encouraged extremism and created the conditions for it to flourish. We are calling on all our partners to maintain pressure on the Assad regime. This war cannot be won by military means alone. It requires a comprehensive strategy with political, economic, and social components – a process that may be supported by the international community, but must be led and implemented by Syrians. The long-term solution is moderate, inclusive Syrian governance that prevents the resurgence of extremism. Only the Syrian Opposition Coalition can achieve the goals that will defeat this threat.
“ISIS is a global threat that requires an international solution. To be effective, that solution will have at its heart those who are already fighting on the frontlines – the Syrian Opposition Coalition, the Free Syrian Army, and the people of Syria.””
#TrustBarack
whenever a moderator awakens …..
Mooooooorning!
http://theobamadiary.com/2014/09/23/early-bird-chat-334/
TEST
http://swbluega.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/barack-and-michelle-at-springsteen-billy-joel-concert-20082.jpg?w=597&h=300