End The Day With Laughter

No, I'm not impressed your kid knows so much about dinosaurs, because he doesn't have a job.

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Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) August 28, 2014

[optimus prime chasing his gf to the front door] but i can change

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k e e t (@KeetPotato) August 29, 2014

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If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they'd shoot her out of the sky with a drone.

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Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) August 13, 2014

*chasing raccoon* "go! get! no one likes you! my wife is right *clutches tiny sweater I made for him and fights tears* you'd be a gross pet"

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Brent (@murrman5) August 31, 2014

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excuse me mr. taxi driver, are you a lawyer now? cause you just passed the bar. turn the fuxk around

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chet (@chetprtr) August 30, 2014

[wife sees derek jeter crying and slamming bedroom door] "what's wrong with derek jeter?" she's still upset we named her after derek jeter

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Brent (@murrman5) September 01, 2014

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I've been robbing my neighbor's cheese for years. "Why do they only take my cheese?", he cries. ”I don't know Gary”, I comfort. ”Its crazy."

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Gretchen (@TheHatIsGood) March 22, 2014

"DADDY DADDY there's a monster under the bed!" *jumps up* WHICH BED? "mine" OH THANK GOD. You're on your own kid. Here's a knife. Good luck.

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GoaT FacE ThrillA (@EndhooS) August 05, 2014

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Welcome to Sick Burns 101. Up top. Down low. Too slow. Have a seat, let's talk about what I did there.

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philippe iujvidin (@philyuck) June 14, 2014

*comes home from work early* *finds wife in bed with Mr. Peanut* Oh god. What are you, fucking nuts? *silence* *monocle falls to the floor*

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Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) August 29, 2014

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Welcome to ghosts anonymous. Nice to see such a spirited turnout. *all of the ghosts boo in unison*

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Christopher Sherk (@TheIronSherk) August 28, 2014

[at the zoo] Llama spits in my face I spit in llamas face Llama slaps me I grab llamas hair Scuffle ensues Llamas gf shouts "leave it Gary!"

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paul (@FrenulumBreve) July 22, 2014

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None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.

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Raspberry Jam (@Jenny4ashley) July 19, 2013

Always remember that in times of trouble I am right there by your side, throwing the trouble at you.

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God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 01, 2014

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CASHIER: Paper or plastic? ME: Ah, riddles as currency, eh? Ok I'll play CASHIER: Sir it's-- ME: Silence sorcerer! I'm thinking

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Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) June 08, 2014

robber 1: dude, u got us a horse-drawn carriage for our getaway car? robber 2: tbh, i was hoping we could just spend the day together.

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chuuch (@ch000ch) August 30, 2014

“Cynicism Is A Bad Choice. Hope Is A Better Choice. Hope Gives Us Courage”

President Barack Obama delivers remarks at Laborfest 2014 at Maier Festival Park in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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Text of the President’s remarks here

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"I didn’t run for President to double down on top-down economics...I bet on America's workers." —Obama #OpportunityForAll #HappyLaborDay

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) September 01, 2014

"America is stronger because of the decisions we made to rescue our economy & rebuild it on a new foundation." —Obama http://t.co/eDT3cK9dUN

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) September 01, 2014

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"I’m asking you to believe in you, because even when our politics just ain’t right, there’s a whole lot that’s right with America.” —Obama

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) September 01, 2014

"America is the autoworker who thought she’d never make another car again, and now she can’t make them fast enough." —Obama #MadeInAmerica

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White House Live (@WHLive) September 01, 2014

"There are families with health insurance who didn’t have it before. There are students in college who couldn’t afford it before." —Obama

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White House Live (@WHLive) September 01, 2014

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"Today is a day that belongs to you—the working men & women who make America the greatest country on Earth." —President Obama #HappyLaborDay

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) September 01, 2014

"The 40-hour workweek, overtime pay, a minimum wage, weekends like this one—all that didn’t happen by accident." —Obama #RaiseTheWage

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White House Live (@WHLive) September 01, 2014

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@petesouza: Pres Obama aboard Marine One today w Valerie Jarrett, Anita Breckenridge and Jennifer Friedman

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U.S. Representative Gwen Moore (D-WI) cheers as President Barack Obama delivers remarks

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President Obama hugs Chris Harris, Vice President of United Steel Workers Local 2-209, after being introduced at Laborfest 2014

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A labor chart on Labor Day: Since economy hit bottom in Feb 2010, U.S. has gained 9.2 million jobs. http://t.co/7sVinV1miP

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Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) September 01, 2014

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Pete Souza: President Obama at the Milwaukee Laborfest today

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President Barack Obama walks past a saluting Marine on the South Lawn as he returns to the White House

A Tweet Or Two

Don’t start a headline about a business leader “Mother of” unless the third word is “Dragons." newstatesman.com/media-mole/201… http://t.co/HvbFDxBB7U

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Katie Mack (@AstroKatie) September 01, 2014

Nauseating to hear people whose strategy for 12 years is "American ground troops in Iraq" accuse others of having no strategy.

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  (@LOLGOP) September 01, 2014

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50 years ago. Check the headline. Different generation. Same struggle. Thanks @ShaunKing http://t.co/oR2VbbQOsi

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Museum Of UnCut Funk (@SistaToFunky) September 01, 2014

Young brothers in Ferguson found this in their yard when they woke up this morning. http://t.co/osO9pkLHcW

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Shaun King (@ShaunKing) August 31, 2014

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Y'all. #DanielHoltzclaw violently abused multiple black women while on duty as a police officer. Everyone should know this.

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abstinent attitude (@PalmTreesnGz) September 01, 2014

Share widely: This is #DanielHoltzclaw, a cop who stalked, raped & sexually assaulted 8 Black women. http://t.co/PG7b06HKit

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Christopher Carbone (@christocarbone) September 01, 2014

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President Obama at Laborfest 2014

2:55 EDT: The President delivers remarks at Laborfest 2014, Henry Maier Festival Park, Milwaukee

 

Chat Away

@dccc

Rise and Shine

On This Day: President Obama in Sioux City, IA, September 1, 2012 (Photo by Scout Tufankjian)

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Today

12:05 EDT: The President departs the White House

1:05 CDT: Arrives Milwaukee, Wisconsin

1:55 CDT: Delivers remarks at Laborfest 2014

2:50 CDT: Departs Milwaukee

5:50 EDT: Arrives the White House

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(Audio only – live video here)

9:30 EDT: Vice President Biden Speaks at Detroit’s Labor Day Parade Gathering

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Paul Krugman: The Medicare Miracle

So, what do you think about those Medicare numbers? What, you haven’t heard about them? Well, they haven’t been front-page news. But something remarkable has been happening on the health-spending front, and it should (but probably won’t) transform a lot of our political debate.

….. Health spending has slowed sharply, and it’s already well below projections made just a few years ago. The falloff has been especially pronounced in Medicare, which is spending $1,000 less per beneficiary than the Congressional Budget Office projected just four years ago.

…. What’s the moral here? For years, pundits and politicians have insisted that guaranteed health care is an impossible dream, even though every other advanced country has it. Covering the uninsured was supposed to be unaffordable; Medicare as we know it was supposed to be unsustainable. But it turns out that incremental steps to improve incentives and reduce costs can achieve a lot, and covering the uninsured isn’t hard at all.

When it comes to ensuring that Americans have access to health care, the message of the data is simple: Yes, we can.

Full post here

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Because it can never be read enough:

ICYMI: My essay for the NY Daily News on the limits of American power – and a president who understands them: http://t.co/Qu0yXpHYMN

— Michael Cohen (@speechboy71) September 1, 2014

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Washington Post: U.S. airstrikes help Iraqi forces break Islamic State’s siege

Iraqi troops and militias aided by U.S. airstrikes broke through a two-month siege of the town of Amerli on Sunday, opening up a humanitarian corridor to thousands of Shiite Turkmen who had been trapped by Sunni militants and deprived of food, water, and medicine.

“Amerli has been liberated,” said Mahdi Taqi, a local official who spoke by phone from inside the town after the army had entered. “There is so much joy and people are cheering in the streets.”

Sunni militants from the Islamic State group, which seized much of northern Iraq in June, had surrounded Amerli, cutting off access to supplies and electricity.

More here

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President Obama isnt just Ending the Wars REPUBLICANS got us into. He’s keeping us OUT of New Wars theyre trying to create.

— Ina (@InaMaziarcz) August 31, 2014

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Carol Anderson (Washington Post): Ferguson isn’t about black rage against cops. It’s white rage against progress

When we look back on what happened in Ferguson, Mo., during the summer of 2014, it will be easy to think of it as yet one more episode of black rage ignited by yet another police killing of an unarmed African American male. But that has it precisely backward. What we’ve actually seen is the latest outbreak of white rage. Sure, it is cloaked in the niceties of law and order, but it is rage nonetheless.

Protests and looting naturally capture attention. But the real rage smolders in meetings where officials redraw precincts to dilute African American voting strength or seek to slash the government payrolls that have long served as sources of black employment. It goes virtually unnoticed, however, because white rage doesn’t have to take to the streets and face rubber bullets to be heard. Instead, white rage carries an aura of respectability and has access to the courts, police, legislatures and governors, who cast its efforts as noble, though they are actually driven by the most ignoble motivations.

More here

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Mothpiece….. I. Am. Dyyyyyying:

#RWNJs continue their war on spelling, grammar and facts. pic.twitter.com/JmUieOkrZk

— Col. Morris Davis (@ColMorrisDavis) September 1, 2014

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On This Day

Pete Souza: “Prior to the start of their working dinner during the Middle East negotiations, President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel check their watches to see if it is officially sunset. During Ramadan, fasting continues throughout the day until after sunset.” Sept. 1, 2010 (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

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President Obama in Sioux City, IA, September 1, 2012

President Obama in Des Moines, September 1, 2012 (Photo by Scout Tufankjian)

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MoooOOOooorning!

Early Bird Chat

On This Day: President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama, and their daughters, Sasha and Malia, sit for a family portrait in the Green Room of the White House, Sept. 1, 2009

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MoooooOOOOOOooooorning – Happy Monday!