Best thing about living in NY is you can order anything, anytime, and 30 minutes later it shows up. You see here? This here is an orangutan.
— pin up teacher (@pinupteacher) May 20, 2014
It wasn’t until our 4th candlelight dinner in a row that my wife realized I can’t be trusted to pay the bills
— Brent (@murrman5) August 20, 2014
****
“If you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you’ve ever wanted, one moment, would you capture it?” pic.twitter.com/oL3SwQpze9
— machine gun kevin (@urboikevin) August 20, 2014
*clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOO- pic.twitter.com/hGyG1oHz0t
— T o m (@Tommassh) August 20, 2014
****
“Any juggalos out there? Raise your hand if you’re down with the clown.” pic.twitter.com/m6oe4c8Gb1
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) August 20, 2014
*Singing karaoke* ‘He was a skater boy I said see you later boy’ pic.twitter.com/s6KwhSlRqt
— Elliot (@youdzzz) August 20, 2014
****
“Okay so I’ve been nominated for this ALS Ice Bucket Challenge” pic.twitter.com/lHF5sxkkYJ
— John (@JMNuch23) August 20, 2014
What’s the deal….with airline food. pic.twitter.com/tNuPZD9ZHO
— J. Cook (@J_M_Cook) August 19, 2014
****
“And remember everyone, what happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” pic.twitter.com/4iIOgzsjP7
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) August 20, 2014
*Jesus descends from the heavens* I CHALLENGE SATAN TO DO THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE LOL *Satan rises from hell flipping everyone off*
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) August 19, 2014
****
What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts.
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) August 13, 2014
Sometimes I eat some Smarties and give my friend some Nerds and say “you are what you eat” then rollerblade away backwards
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) December 3, 2013
****
I struggle against the ropes binding me, catching the scent of gas. “You’ll die too,” I say. “9 lives,” my cat whispers, lighting a match.
— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) March 13, 2014
“What’s your bid?” $6,435,765, Drew. “You think this dinette set costs $6.4 million?” *lips right on mic* Yes.
— Ray (Sir E) (@SirEviscerate) August 19, 2014
The Obama Diary 
Still true. Laughter is the best medicine
Nerdy you are both smart and versatile. Thank you
Awww….thank you very much, Vetivera24.
Almost choking on “… then rollerblade away backwards.”!!!!!!!!! Well done, NW.
Congrats vetivera 🙂
Glad you liked it, Bob.
I see this woman everyday in my indian teevee. uugghh.
NW – you are amazing at finding humor in the midst of struggle and sadness. We need the balm of smiles and laughter.
We sure do.
Thanks, Judith.
Nerdy Wonka, you an amazing person! Yes indeed, Judith, it is times like these that we need the healing power of humor.
Thanks, Nath.
Good change of pace NW……..thanks for taking the time to spit out posts so frequently. My fingers get *arthritis* just putting one together 😎
10 days until kickoff……. WAR DAMN EAGLE!!
I may buy my first smartphone……was still using my Sony Walkman Nokia for the last 7 years…. until I lost it 3 days ago 😦
It may not have been the most anticipated cool-gadget launch of the season, but the new smartphones unveiled by Sharp Corp. on Monday got some healthy buzz for their unique screen design. The Aquos Crystal series, developed by Sharp together with SoftBank Corp., boasts a “frameless” display with a screen that goes from edge to edge. The five-inch screen model will be available in Japan on Aug. 29, and will be launched in the U.S. by Sprint later this year
The model can take 999 consecutive photos, has a battery life of up to three days, and comes with a wireless speaker system. But it is the distinctive screen that is the topic of conversation on social media:
Oh, here we are! I almost shut down, definitely closing early tonight. Btw, I live below a guillotine dropper – mofo has the worst ever recliner, it ought to be in the dump. Slams that footrest on the way up, and on the way down, seems like every 10-15 minutes, especially in the evenings. ‘But gives me heart failure every time. 😦 😦 I’m sure there are worse things in this world to live with. Aarrggghh.
HAHAHAHA! You made me choke on my spit….this was hilarious!! Took me a minute..guillotine dropper? Never heard it put that way….I won’t allow those thing in my house. Never.
Rumble rumble rumble, the whole place vibrates when the motor is running, I swear, some days I think I’m going to go nuts! Wasn’t sure the correct word for him, a ‘master’ he surely ain’t! Any chance we can come and live in your recliner-free safe environment?? 😉
“mofo has the worst ever recliner”
Hahahahahahahahahaha…..I almost choked on laughter.
You are awesome, MightyP.
Yes, thank you, NW, to keep company here! But re the upstairs romper stomper, I am in agony sometimes. I’ve heard him let rip with that thing at 3 am sometimes, really scares the shit out of me. . . And my kitty! ❤
I bet you end up buying a full body cover for that glass thingy.
Man that thing better come w/ scratch free replacements and like a 5yr warranty w/ no deductible!!!
Advice to yung’uns – Don’t fall for the looks.
Man I’ve held out for 7 years….I don’t know what to get? All the phones have these ridiculous data plans that don’t afford any usage…Only reason I’m in the market I lost my handy phone that I cherished for being so small and having FM radio w/ maximum storage of 10 MP3’s….may she R.I.P.
I bet I find it the day after I figure out what I want.
Have you tried calling it from your landline? (That’s what the landlines are for). Mebbe it will answer back from your drier.
Battery is dead……I checked call history too….nobody using it……any suggestions on a phone. President Obama signed that law that allows unlocked phones at any carrier…so I can buy international ones now
Plenty to choose from depending on your budget. My thumb rule is 200 to 300 bucks tops since I change them often. Plenty of indian mobiles (made in china of course) which match the higher priced iphones, samsung, htc etc. spec to spec.
I go by same rule… when I bought my last phone it was on the high end at the time $200….gonna have to do some more digging. This Sharp phone is not available until December. Keep your eye out for a good “bang for the buck” phone available in India, I can get my uncle to send me one if I like it.
the website I use to choose the phones.
http://www.smartprix.com/mobiles/with-dual_sim/2_gb_above-ram/price-below_20000?uq=1
You can fiddle with all the options like price, screen size, bells and whistles etc. on the left side to narrow down your choice.
Thanks….GN
Try it before you buy it!
I agree, and think about what you will be using it for. My last phone had touch screen only, and I hated it for texting. My not so young and not so slim fingers always hit two keys. When it was stolen, I went looking again and ended up with something I had never heard of, a Pantech. It is not a smart phone but has everything including GPS. Most important, it has a touch screen AND a slider keypad with good size keys rather than the tiny ones. I’ve loved it compared to what I had previously.
My husband dropped a similar phone at Costco. (but his was held together with duct tape). Someone actually turned it in to lost and found. When he went to pick it up, they said, “You want this back? Seriously?”
Denzel Washington. Robert. McCall. “The Equalizer”. What you’re hearing from those of us of a certain age is a massive “squee”.
No where near massive enough. This >>> SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 😀
What complete horseshit!!! I wouldn’t blink twice if this was the NYPOST, but seems Mort Zuckerman is still mad he got busted claiming he helped write President Obama’s speeches:
http://gawker.com/5586105/mort-zuckerman-clarifies-claim-about-helping-write-obama-speech
“Media mogul Mort Zuckerman is “clarifying” his claim that he helped write one of Barack Obama’s speeches, after White House speechwriters said they had never met or spoken to him.”
Talk is cheap. Any cheap shots to sell their rag. Hope no one is buying that crap.
An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, “I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what’s wrong with me.”
“Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor, “Do you drink much?”
“Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaler. Never touch a drop.”
“How about smoking?” asked the doctor.
“Never,” replied the man. “Tobacco is bad and I have strong principles against it.”
“Well, uh,” asked the doctor, “do you have much sex life?”
“Oh, no,” said the man. “Sex is sin. I’m in bed by 10:30 every night . . . always have been.”
The doctor paused, looked at the man hard, and asked, “Well, do you have pains in your head?”
“Yes,” said the man. “I have terrible pains in my head.”
“OK,” said the doctor. “That’s your trouble. Your halo is on too tight.”
well…time to say goodnite to all…been quite a day. See y’all in the morning. Bright and early!
The Vegas tweet is my favorite 🙂
LOL. love that Chris Hayes retweeted this.
Dweeb. Nothing cool about him, eh? Maybe he’s hoping our Chipstar will write a full page cover on what a great journo he wants to bel
I can’t stomach Chris Hayes’ show on MSNBC. But the very little I’ve seen of him in Ferguson – well, he’s actually trying to “get it” and has been just blurting out all kinds of truths. Sounds like he’s growing up a little, before our very eyes. He really needs to work on “the stance,” however.
Indeed, Chips will probably do a “don’t fall for Chris Hayes” post tomorrow, but that’s my feeling about it tonight, so I’ll be “brave” and post this!
Okay I’m back.. Lots on my mind and sorry about earlier behavior.
I was watching a little Lawrence and Clair McCaskill has clearly lost it. I can’t believe that woman and how she just showed that she could care less about the people of Ferguson and the plight that they’ve been going through. Been watching the footage and every hing closely when it comes to Ferguson and I’m angry at how the cops have shown no remorse or care about what is going on. Watching the protests live stream on Twitter and how the cops have flamboyantly have abused their power, acting as if they are Israeli or Egyptian police, all very disturbing. It all should be shocking, but I’ve seen a lot of this from the police and notice how power hungry, negligent the Police Departments have become.
Here’s hoping that things change around. I’ll go back to lurking and try not to get emotionally entangled like I have a tendency towards.
Good to hear you – like the rest of us – are trying to process all this, Jeff. It’s not easy. Hang in there.
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student’s immediate family.
One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, “Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with.”
///
Teachers are bad asses.
Byeee.
Almost forgot about this horrendous example of police brutality last month….hope there is a follow through
This goes w/ LL’s post ‘we are the media’
Great idea!
Oh, NW, the Pope(s) and the cat. Ya got me dyin’ laughin’ over here.
Just what the doctor ordered! Love ya.
P.S. lamh36 – Chris Hayes’ body language tweet – also a big winner! Love, love, love it.
Thanks, Ms. J’OB. Glad you enjoyed it.
I am not a Black mother, God help them, but I am a mother and grandmother and great grandmother, and I do have a heart. There are two things I can’t get out of my head, about Ferguson. Didn’t see Michael Brown’s body in the street that day, but I saw an image of it. The fact they didn’t even cover him in the hot sun is beyond appalling. I know many townspeople heard what happened and raced there. Did his grandmother have to see him like that, since he was coming to visit her, and she would have been nearby? I did see the images of the police officers this past week without their freakin’ badges and nameplates. That’s like Nazi Germany to me. Or whatever other way there is to describe their lack of seeing the basic humanity of others in their midst … their lack of living up to the principles of law and order, what they are trained and paid to do. Unless they had something to hide, something they didn’t want to be connected to, they wouldn’t be hiding their badges. And that’s despicable.
GN TOD:
These signs should be archived at The Smithsonian. Ferguson is part of our civil rights history, and I’m so hoping something good comes out of it. It’s too early for hope, but I can’t help myself. I’d rather cling to it.
THIS! >> “These signs should be archived at The Smithsonian. Ferguson is part of our civil rights history”
Hi, Dudette – Thanks for bringing us all the info and tweets!
Hiya JOB! I’m honored to be a part of the sharing – “Bearing witness” as Alycee said. So thankful to be able to come home to TOD.
Talk about our “safe haven,” eh?
Yep.
The World is Watching…
Dearly Beloved ~ From Light Thou Art, and Unto Light Thou Shall Return. Do your best each day to anchor the Light where ever you are ~ in your own daily life, even if it seems darkness is descending all around. We meet on a Soul level. The Soul knows only the Light. Be not afraid. Be kind to yourself and to others, even the smallest and most insignificant of forms. Be Blessed. Goodnight.
Beautiful MP, much love!
Not a tear gas canister in sight.
I assume Missouri has 2 senators – everyone is talking about Sen McCaskill – is the other senator doing anything?
The other senator is Roy Blunt, a Republican. Couldn’t watch all the coverage today, but here’s a story about AG Holder’s visit and the possible interaction with Blunt and McCaskill:
http://www.politico.com/story/2014/08/ferguson-eric-holder-claire-mccaskill-roy-blunt-missouri-110126.html
Thanks JoB – Seems your article is following on from Arapaho’s comment. Blunt doesn’t want the feds “taking over” – he doesn’t seem to have said anything to support MikeBrown or his family
Google “Missouri senators” and you’ll see Roy Blunt, the junior Senator.
He’s apparently a RWNJ — you don’t want to know what he’s saying, but the first article was Blunt warning of the dangers of the federal takeover of Missouri if the FBI gets involved with the Michael Brown case.
Doesn’t support any feds – despite he is paid to be one – that sounds normal for a RWNJ. Thanks arapaho
I haven’t been paying attention to the Bob McDonnell corruption case, but this article on @nytimes’ home page now caught my eye.
Back in 2008, I recall the MSM being in a lather about then-Senator Obama “throwing his grandmother under the bus” during his Philadelphia race speech.
Wonder how many of those same “journalists” are hurling similar charges against McDonnell for throwing his wife under the bus?
My guess is very few.
TODville mentioned today that no questions were hurled at PBO after his James Foley statement today. I watched a recorded version of PBO’s statement on C-Span, and there appeared to be very few reporters in the room, none of whom I recognized — they’re all in the Hamptons, Cape Cod or the south of France.
It makes me sick to refer to the WHPC and DC talking heads as “journalists” after what happened to James Foley. Most DC “journalists” have only been overseas when covering PBO’s foreign trips or vacations — they have no idea what it’s like to actually work as a true journalist. I don’t think I can bear the sight of them again.
I know what you mean – they are NOT journalists! Eek.
yep. This is it right here.
https://screen.yahoo.com/live/event/john-legend
THANKS, Dudette!
Amazing photo
NW, I laughed till my sides hurt, then, damn the hurt, laughed plenty more! Thank you, so needed a grand giggle!
Yay! 🙂
Some Geeky Nerdy Humor
An MSNBC law enforcement analyst, James Cavanaugh (think he’s a former FBI agent-in-charge), who’s been on Lawrence’s show this past week or so, is spot on. He calls how the prosecutor is handling the case of Darren Wilson as “slowwalking it.” Claims if there’s probably cause, there should be an immediate arrest warrant out for Wilson, because it’s a crisis situation for the community. I think we’ve all come to that conclusion, too.
watching Lawrence right now, it’s pretty horrible how Ferguson PD has been handling the case.
Yes, it sure is.
There is no need for a grand jury – from what I know of them (& we don’t have such a thing in our justice system,), prosecutors usually use them when they are keen to arrest, but think it might not be viewed well because of conflicting evidence. This is the opposite – the prosecutor does not want to arrest – and there is very little conflicting evidence.
I think there should be an immediate arrest warrant because Wilson shot and killed Mike Brown – and if that had been done – there wouldn’t be a “crisis situation”.
you damn right. I know that man has issues looking at himself in the mirror.
Bottom line ….
#TrustBarack
good night TOD
I #TrustBarack!
Thanks Bob! Goodnight!
Bwahaha!
Liberals are so creative!
I am ROTFL at this Rick Perry creation.
Hey, there, COS! I am, too.
I just about lost it. 😆
If I’m hearing correctly via the livestream, there was no violence in Ferguson tonight. Just heard that Captain Ron Johnson may be holding his presser early, but the folks running this livestream aren’t sure. They just took a break, in any event.
http://new.livestream.com/accounts/9035483/events/3271930
Setting up mics for the presser in front of a porta potty. Where’s Chips when you need a good photo?
Major props to the Rewrite tonight…
Saw that this AM. Lawrence O’Donnell did a fantastic job. Bravo, sir.
Supposedly, Captain Johnson’s press conference w/b in about 10 minutes:
http://new.livestream.com/accounts/9035483/events/3271930
And I was writing about it for my baby son, in a little journal I was keeping for him about his first year (and still have!).
Used to be responsible journalists had to have two CONFIRMED sources, before using their story. Not in the case of the shill for Darren Wilson – the anonymous woman who called into a radio station and gave his “account” of the shooting. But, even with the caveat that she only gave her first name and said she was a friend of his, CNN continues to use her voice with the “story.” All the old journalism rules are out the window, forevermore. And, apparently, all the rules of decency and humanity within the ranks of the Ferguson law enforcement community have been gone for a long, long time.
According to Capt. Johnson at his presser, Gov. Nixon came by the Command Center tonight to talk to the various law enforcement officers. He also said AG Holder thanked him today and acknowledged the “community policing” in Ferguson. Johnson commended the local clergy, for their efforts. There were apparently “only” six arrests tonight, and “no shots fired.” He said “We’re taking small steps every night.” He’s been letting the people know their voices are being heard. Probably from fatigue, he got a little testy with some of the reporter questions at the end.
Speaking of fatigue, time to say goodnight to y’all.
Thank you for the updates JoB – If Capt Johnson had been put in charge – things may have been different. It does appear to me he is simply being used to distance the FPD from the people they are supposed to protect.
Gov Nixon should be talking to the people not the police
It’s about avoidance and optics. Gov. Nixon is avoiding the Ferguson residents because he knows he will be challenged. The optics when he would again show that he does not care about their concerns; only about removing the visuals of the demonstrations and the over-the-top activities of the militarized police.
Yet the media scream for PBO to visit Ferguson – I keep hoping for some truth in US journalism
gm swbluega – wishing you a peaceful Thursday
Good Evening 99ts…hope you had a wonderful day.
Re-posting from previous thread:
Nerdy, firstly you should be recommended for Citizen Journalist of the year. Your indefatigable work is unparalleled. Secondly, this too shall pass. No condition of human oppression and, or, cruel subjugation is, and has ever been, permanent in human history. Last, but not least, we should all acquaint ourselves with Romans 12:19 in the Bible. Other verses such as Psalm 94:1 and Isaiah 35:4 are much more harsh.
Good News….
=======
“Emory University Hospital to announce release of American Ebola patients”
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/first-american-ebola-patient-be-released-emory-uni/ng6YL/
Emory University Hospital will hold a news conference Thursday afternoon to talk about the release of both Ebola patients currently being treated at the hospital. Dr. Kent Brantly is expected to be present at the news conference to make a statement.
The news conference at Emory University Hospital will take place at 11 a.m. Brantly will make a statement at that time but will not take any questions.
Morning!
http://theobamadiary.com/2014/08/21/early-bird-chat-331/
Excellent tweet selections NW. Great job.