I remember the last time my ex said I love you. It was Tuesday at Chili's to that new guy. I hid one booth over. Wonder where we go tonight.
—
Matt McElaney (@MattMcElaney) July 19, 2014Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift.
—
shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) January 02, 2014****
[at Home Depot]
Good day sir how much for this large spoon-ended hammer?
"Sir that is a shovel."
Name your price.
—
Hitmonjake (@jake_likes_naps) May 03, 2014Cats always land on their feet & bread always lands butter down, but spread butter on the cat's back & everyone wonders why you're naked.
—
Terry F (@daemonic3) March 27, 2013****
"Apollo 13 this is Houson what is your status?"
*sigh*
"Houston I'm still single, I'm gonna die alone surrounded by cats. Floating cats."
—
Hitmonjake (@jake_likes_naps) July 19, 2014Welcome to Premature Ejaculation Club
A lot of you came early,
I'm not surprised
—
Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) January 21, 2014****
[Hostage situation]
Um I don't want to be "that hostage", but I just want to let you know I have a gluten allergy.
—
(@Tommytoughstuff) July 15, 2014PILOT: this plane is going down!
ME: kinda like your mom.
PILOT: oh snap lol
ME: lol
PILOT: lol
ME: lol
PILOT: no seriously we're gonna die.
—
Kyle Duncan Graham (@kDuncanG) July 19, 2014****
I'll bet people with face tattoos got their face painted at a carnival as a kid and were like "I NEVER WANT THIS FEELING TO STOP".
—
Mike Primavera (@primawesome) October 27, 2013Cop: Are you high?
Me: If I was high could I do this?
*rips off arm and throws it like a boomerang*
—
Br&on the C&w (@Brampersandon_) July 02, 2014****
here's a cigarette, son
tomorrow you walk into the school
and you smoke it
hopefully people will forget that you shit your pants today
—
Smash Mouth Fan (@HumanPog) August 30, 2013Let's ask the Ouija board a question. Is my wife's meatloaf good? *pointer moves to NO* You see, Debra? No I did not move it myself
—
patrick (@tastefactory) July 14, 2014
The Obama Diary 
Waaait for me!
Nerdy, you stop right there and wait for an old la ….oops!…friend
Even with a malfunctioning ‘puter, you’re STILL first???? 😯
Congrats VeeeeeeCeeeeee – and thank you Nerdy for the laughs!!!!
TY 😀 Now if I could just get on twitter, Chips Chica, I’d be okay for now!
Still no Twitter progress??
No, and I’ve tried changing my password several times. It just keeps refusing me . It send me an email contact but my responses are always rejected!!!!
I sure to god hope it acknowledges me when I sign in on the laptop – if my account is still there.
Maybe you should pretend to be me and send a few comments from my account….or TO my account.
That’s bizarre VC, but I saw someone else (not that I can remember who) saying they had the same problem recently.
Can anyone here help??
Teeheehee – Are you sure it wasn’t me?
Also, could/would you send me a message there hinting that I’m on vacation? I’m probably losing my small group of followers as they don’t see any response/action. Not to mention I’ve seen some good visuals/tweets since Monday and have been real ticked that I couldn’t add my 1c worth. Sigh!
How do you mean VC, a DM or a tweet?
A tweet, please, addressed to the old me. Hey, maybe a PBO baby tweet with a fun message. Maybe it might get retweeted, who knows? 😀
[Even as I typed the above a half of me was thinking – ‘VC, you are really weird!” 🙂
🙂
THIS is ‘poifect’! I truly ❤ ❤ ❤ you, CC! A gazillion THANKS! 🙂 🙂 🙂
❤ ❤ ❤ VC ❤ ❤ ❤
^5 /right hand/
^5 / left hand /
^5 /my right hand to your left hand/
Can you tell I’m feeling giddy? 😀 😀
[ps: This is why I don’t drink. I have a tendency for sometimes being inexplicably wired so I determined early not to add alcohol to that. 😉 😉 After all, who could predict the outcome?]
❤ 😀 ❤
Yes, I was shamelessly begging! 😀 Did you see *my* tweet on twitter?
Honestly, Dudette, I never thought not being able to get on would bother me so much, when you consider that it took me sooooo long to build courage to join in the twitter brigade! I actually felt like my hands were tied when I read some of the twitter comments these past couple of days.
Glad you enjoyed them.
Thanks! 😎
Can’t believe it, VC!
Congrats on your first!!!!!!!
/HUGE grin here/ 😀 Thanks NCLB! I couldn’t believe it either.
As the days go by I’m acquiring a bit more respect for this old clunker – most of all because it got me here, and because it has now delivered me to the front twice. 😀
What? No way! 🙂
{{Dude -ette}} 🙂 🙂
Look at you! Sashaying in the door first. You GO Girl! {{{ vc }}}
And what a sashay it was, TY, D – it perked me up immensely! 😀
Ok, laughing at tweets at the reference desk gets you odd looks.
They’re a flippin’ scream, all of them – but the pilot one has me howling!
“No, really, we’re going to die”.
Deadpan hilarity.
I. Am. In. Tears.
Long before LeBron James announced that he was “coming home” to the Cleveland Cavaliers, journalists and fans had started making the rounds of his Akron, Ohio home to get any whiff of Decision 2.0. The #LeBronWatch that followed made the commotion in his neighborhood only worse, with cops having to direct traffic and the hundreds of people outside his Idlebrook Drive home. But his neighbors aren’t complaining. Especially after the four-time NBA MVP sent them a dozen cupcakes on Tuesday night, apologizing for the chaos.
“We know things have been hectic in the neighborhood these past few weeks and we are sorry for the chaos,” the note reads. “We are so thankful to live in this wonderful community and we are so blessed to have understanding neighbors like you. “As a gesture of our gratitude and appreciation, our family wants to give you something that is meaningful to us, our foundation’s cupcakes. We hope you enjoy the treat!” The note is signed off — Savannah. LeBron. Bronny. Bryce — in the signature family man spirit that James loves to embrace.
“I thought it was really great of him to do that, he’s never done anything like that in the past,” Bath resident David Galehouse told Beacon Journal news partner WEWS. The neighbors are now getting messages from everyone from Good Morning America to ESPN to use the images. “Now I know what being a Twitter celebrity feels like,” one of James’ young neighbor said after his phone started blowing up with messages.
Six of the cupcakes were cherry cola and the other half were chocolate chunk, both flavors exclusively made by Baker Blvd. Decadent Cupcakes & Desserts, who then turn 50 percent of sales to the LeBron James Family Foundation. That money goes to the non-profit group’s programs to help raise graduation rates for struggling families and students. Every piece ($2.25) comes with an “I Promise” wristband, similar to one worn by the basketball star to acknowledge a commitment to community.
Don’t hit me anyone, but there are a couple of these comedians whose humour actually bother me (mainly because they carry a certain undercurrent that is a bit jarring). Just saying.
I’m with you.
Agree.
Ditto.
Ditto
Can someone tell me why we need to increase our involvement in European sanctions when they don’t appear to want to save their own asses? Do we really want to continue peddling our form of democracy(which we’re not good at)? Just asking.
Actually Europeans do more business with Russia than we do, so the impact of their participation on imposing sanctions has more bite than if we go it alone. They’ve been hesitant to go whole tilt, but the tide is turning.
I should say… “at least, there’s hope that the tide is turning.”
It can’t be quick enough. We have BIG concerns here too.
Maybe by posting a @MarkKnoller tweet HF2 will delurk and let us know her thoughts on the media (can’t wait):
Yes POTUS, we do need a real speaker back in the House. Not that cowardly, sorry ass John Boehner. This is proof that a woman can do the same job a man does better then a man. Because history will prove who was truly a speaker and who was speaker in name only.
Why yes of course Arapah…Nothing like a Mark Knoller tweet to jolt me out of my lurking stupor! 🙂
Okay…today was tres busy at work and just got home not too long ago. I just logged on to TOD and saw your comment here, so we are on the same wavelength it seems. Anyway hopefully I will be posting about that media issue soon…LOL
Have you been invited onto MSNBC as a contributor Hopefruit – that would be awesome!
AMERICA’S FUTURE WILL BE DETERMINED IN NOVEMBER 2014.
SEND ME A CONGRESS
====================
– Send me a congress in 2014 that wants to build a road.
– Send me a congress in 2014 that cares about the middle class.
– Send me a congress in 2014 that will help me create jobs and fight global warming.
Then, and ONLY then will we get things done.
— President Barack Obama
Can’t wait.
Way to cheer up a depressed crowd, dude.
The deal is it happened 65 million years ago . So we are good. For now.
“So we are good. For now” Yeh, I read the warm & fuzzy all over that tweet (and the “Can’t Wait”) after it. 😐
It’s only matter. We all come from Light. Unto Light do we return.
Now THIS is how to write a fundraising email. From DSCC:
Please do tell DSCC this, Lib_L, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO GETS ONE OF THESE. If DSCC outreach folks get enough feedback on the kind of fundraising email voters are partial to, they just might refocus and make (21st Century) changes.
Pretty awesome experience…just glad they didn’t fall and get flattened like a pancake: Two kayakers in Argentina got an unexpected surprise when a whale lifted their boat onto his back
I don’t want to do that!
That’s gross!
State-conducted torture, plain and simple.
Heard on the radio that Arizona joins Oklahoma in torturing an inmate during execution. Too gruesome to post a link, but it’s the lead story on @latimes now.
Deplorable.
I know C&W isn’t a popular genre here, but it’s the music I was raised on, and I love the classic C&W (today’s is pretty much worthless). Here’s to all those on death row or who have been executed.
{{Arapaho415}}
Too outrageous for words, what a ****ing world.
I like country western. Well… to be honest, I like almost all genres of music.
Good to hear, nospin.
Some of the classic C&W singers had amazing voices — thinking of Jim Reeves, Patsy Cline (both killed in airplane crashes), but to me no one can beat Merle Haggard in his prime.
Also liked Marty Robbins and Lefty Fritzell.
I’m right there with ya! This song was played endlessly on our record player when my older brother Kevin went overseas in the Vietnam War as part of the Air Force. He married his childhood sweetheart, Treena right before he left.
It doesn’t surprise me in the least. I am an Arizona native, and it amazes me what this state has become.
Glad someone else likes C&W! I don’t follow it much these days, but love some of the well-known singers a whole bunch!
Rt
These photos are heartbreaking……hard not to feel the emotional angst these families are bearing
The Netherlands has many more horribly sad days like the photo in the first tweet—–this was only the first 40 of the 180+ (189?) they lost. Scenes were heart-breaking.
Phew! At least I’m on the current post now. [huff, puff…]
After all the horrific news of the world this past week, here’s a feel-good story about a TODville fav.
And it happened in our President’s home town!
Click on the article to see the good Samaritan’s twitter handle — didn’t know if the good Samaritan would take offense, so I didn’t include it in the tweet:
Karma? What goes around comes around. sometimes, anyway.
So i read that about an award not being offered and found this. yea. I left my wallet in the cab twice and bus once in Chicago and all three times it was returned with everything in it; by the cabbies and the CTA cleaning crew. (And yes, I now travel with it strapped to my wrist. 🙂 )
errr. so I didn’t forget my wallet story but forgot the attachment. https://twitter.com/Trezeduet/status/492043564096835584
LOL.
Woot! for Chi-town.
For LL — my wallet slid under my seat when I returned to LAX on a late flight. Fortunately I had a way to pay to get my car out of the parking lot.
The next day I got a from my local public library to let me know — the airline (I think it was Alaska Air) called the library because my library card was in my wallet. I called the airline and they couriered my wallet to my work location. Yay for public libraries!
Couple of TV announcements:
– Massachussetts Governor Deval Patrick is on All In with Chris Hayes this hour.
– Just saw an ad on MSNBC for a “CNBC” Exclusive Interview with President Obama tomorrow at 5PM ET.
Wow to both points and thanks for your brilliant simple explanation of Kingston=Santorum and Perdue=Romney.
So Establishment beats TP in GA and MS. Not in VA—Canter big loser.
Wish I could take credit for that. Read it somewhere (I can’t recall where now), but thought it was the absolute best way to describe them to people who aren’t familiar Georgia politicians. Fits them to a “tea”! 🙂
Thanks for the heads up Dudette. I am guessing they will be discussing the press conference below.
Gov. Deval Speaks On Sheltering Child Migrants – State House News Service
From the article:
“The New Mexico Democrat has taken on something of a leadership role on the issue at the behest of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Today’s floor speech, in which Heinrich also advocated for passage of the DREAM Act, was his second speech on the border crisis in a week. He said a proposal to amend the 2008 William Wilberforce Trafficking Victims Protection Action Act was misguided.”
P.S. Meta can attest to the fact that Heinrich should have gotten the title of “most beautiful DC pol” or whatever nonsense award went to Jeff Flake last year. I’ve tweeted pics of him, which are eye candy for those who appreciate handsome men.
LOLz. Eye candy indeed!!
WTG, Meta.
Thanks for bringing here.
Hope msnbc posts the video as part of The Ed Show so those of us without TV can view later.
Can’t bear to watch emoPutin Hayes, way too jumpy for me.
Good tweet, Chips.
What has struck me is how little the media is covering this stunning event.
Except Ted Cruz who has announced his hold on all State Dept. nominees until his questions are answered. Apparently he is claiming that PBO is taking sides against Israel. I thought POTUS is supposed to protect the American people as his most impotant job.
Thank you President Obama and the FAA for protecting our country first.
It is only the beginning……
The GOP is so predictable. However low you expect them to go they manage to go lower.
I have just finished reading this article linked above and it says almost exactly what you have said, Vicki, but about the situation in Ukraine
http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118823/what-its-walk-through-wreckage-malaysia-airlines-fligh
//…………………
Something was bound to happen. The dangerous propaganda war was spinning out of control, both on the Russian and on the Ukrainian side. And every time something big happened, be it a clash between protesters and police or military maneuvers, I thought it was the end—that it simply just couldn’t get any worse. After the violent crackdown on protesters in Kiev, after the shootings on Maidan. After Russia annexed Crimea, and after the violence flared in Eastern Ukraine. Yet every time it did. Then, it hit home.
On that green stretcher, I got up and walked trough the fields, in between the debris, the wreckage, the bodies and their belongings. I kept telling myself: This is the end. After this it just can’t get any worse. But it will.
To Blake on ” if you don’t feel safe here, I don’t know where you would feel safe”
so why is Bibi blowing up Gaza?
Newt Gingrich, the only one to fall for your B.S. is your wife and your racists Obama haters, you Republicans get together and follow the same old talking points. President Obama is not anti-Israel. What would they say if an American plane were shot down by Hamas rocket, you better believe Newt and the Tea Republicans would be blaming Obama.
Agree with mr deez.
Bloomberg must really live inside a swell bubble.
Some great responses to Gingrich including
Siusaidh Chaimbeul @Zaganashikwe 2h
@newtgingrich Hoping flights are resumed quickly. Please be on the first one available.
I can be extremely cynical but there is a part of me that believes Bibi would love to have a US flight shot down. He figures that would turn everybody against Hamas and the Palestinians, which in his mind are one and the same.
IMO you make a valid point, Japa. I’ve said this before because I believe it – Bibi reminds me forcefully of John McCain. They are both filled with anger/vengeance, and their default mode is violent retaliation. You have only to look at Bibi when he is talking to see that he is almost always seething inside. I don’t believe he cares one bit about Israel’s youth or its real future. If he did he would make a more determined effort to move forward.
VC with all your PC/Laptop issues…..holy smokes, you have managed to earn Gold ⭐ and Silver and a possible tie for Bronze 😉
🍸 to you lady.
To quote something my old friend, DannyO might reply.. ‘TY, Nane, I iz grate’ 😀
Unfortunately, in OK, it took another 2 hours to kill Woods, a convicted murderer.
Where is US Media? Who holds these OK lawmakers accountable. Shame on them.
We thumb our noses on other nations…..Yet….We kill our people with guns at a rate unimaginable to must in the world. We deprive ourselves simple Voting accessibility. We let out Infrastructure to be dilapidated. Our educational system now is in the dumps. We have a dysfunctional political system. We are amongst a few nations still using Capital Punishment as a way in killing people. The list is endless and We still proclaim Exceptionalism?
We can’t morally ask other nations to behave when we systematically deny Palestinians a Vote at the UN.
During the last days of apartheid in SA there must have come a time when people started to see that the end of the nightmare was imminent.
I am thinking that the FAA ban plus Lufthansa and other european carriers bans might be the first crack in the invincibility of Israel. Time will tell.
The Jealousy in Dogs is well known. Now they have Graphics to tell Us? Too much time on someone’s hand?
Just watched Governor Patrick interview by Chris Hayes. Gov Patrick is a GOOD man! We need him serving at the national level. Really we do.
I am totally with you on this Dudette. I can see why he and PBO are very good friends. I still remember his speech at the Democratic National Convention, when he told the Dems not to let the thugs bully this President out of office. I don’t normally watch Hayes but I will watch Gov. Patrick tonight.
He’s magnificent. Remember his speech at the 2012 DNC where he urged Dems to GROW A SPINE?!!!!
O’Malley/Patrick ticket; could be a beautiful thing.
Oh yeah. THIS x a lot!!!!!!!!!!!
An old man was tired from riding his bike, and decided to hitch hike. A guy in his red Corvette pulled up to give him a lift. When the old man brought out his bike that he had leaned up against a tree, the driver said, “I have no room for your bike in my car, but I’d like to help you in someway seeing you standing here in the hot sun.” After a few seconds of thought, the driver said, “I know what we can do. I have a rope behind my seat. I’ll tie one end of it to the rear end of my car and the other end to the front your bike. You ride your bike, and I’ll give you this whistle. If I go too fast for you, just blow your whistle and I’ll slow down.” The old guy agreed to it. So off he went down the highway with the old man and his bike in tow. A little ways down the rode, a young lady in a bright yellow corvette pulls up next to them. She gives the guy in the red Vette the High Sign, meaning “you want a drag?” Off they go down the highway, 100 plus MPH, the old man blowing his whistle like crazy. They zipped by a Highway Patrol cop sitting under a tree. The cop knew he couldn’t catch them, so he called ahead to his fellow cop down the rode to intercept. “Car number 2, this is car number 1.” “Go head number 1, what’cha got for me?” I got a red and yellow Vettes come down your way doing hundred plus, can you intercept?” “Ten-four, Is there anything else?” “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe this, but there is an old guy riding a bicycle blowing his whistle trying to pass.”
Hey Meta. The opposition are trying really hard to make something out of his fundraisers but he is totally ignoring them. 🙂
Inorite? They hate it when he rakes in all that CASH. LOLz.
Dr. Maddow is interviewing the witnesses to the Arizona execution, and it sounds horrific, America has to be better than this.
BREAKING NEWS: Preservation of evidence has just been ordered by the Arizona Judge. Order has been issued to draw blood because the Judge wants to know what happened.
Rachel did much work on researching the execution in Oklahoma – this one sounds worse.
THIS!!! 99ts
Rachel’s basically doing execution porn — person after person describing in excruciating detail what they witnessed at today’s execution/torture.
Then I switched to BBC World News and they’re showing the convoy of hearses in Netherlands as the Malaysian Airlines victims come home.
I’m overwhelmed with horror and sadness.
Bless you , my friend.
Hold on to your faith. It will sustain you.
You are always there to encourage us with music. I offer you “Some Day We Will All Be Free.” By Donnie Hathaway and “Love in Need of Love” By Stevie Wonder.
I pray that it helps even for a minute.
Peace.
I find these torturous executions have been done primarily to African American men. This is cruel and unusual punishment and needs to stop. These Governors need to be sued by the families whose loved ones are killed in this experimental way. They are using drugs that have not been proven.
Need this badly.
Yes, badly. LOVE this.
Thank you…….
New post:
http://theobamadiary.com/2014/07/23/being-biden-volume-12-16/
All these governors refusing medicaid expansion should be tried for crimes against the citizens of the state. They are outright killing poor rural people.
Blago got 14 years!——for ???——talking big? It was a political sham, a miscarriage of justice.