President Obama at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner

President Obama speaks at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner

Thank You. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Thank you. Everyone, please have a seat. Have a seat.

Before I get started, can we get the new presidential set up out here? [Laughter] It has worked before. [Laughter] That is more like it.

It is great to be back. What a year, huh? I usually start these dinners with a few self-deprecating jokes. After my stellar 2013, what can I possibly talk about? [Laughter]

I admit it — last year was rough. Sheesh. [Laughter]

At one point, things got so bad, the 47 percent called Mitt Romney to apologize. [Laughter]

Of course, we rolled out Healthcare.gov. That could have gone better. [Laughter]

In 2008, my slogan was “Yes, we can.” In 2013, my slogan was “Control, alt, delete.” [Laughter]

On the plus side, they did turn the launch of Healthcare.gov into one of the year’ s biggest movies. [Laughter] But rather than dwell on the past, I would like to pivot to this dinner.

Let’s welcome our headliner this evening, Joel McHale. [Applause] On “Community,” Joel plays a preening, self-obsessed narcissist, so this dinner must be a real change of pace for you. [Laughter] I want to thank the White House Correspondents Association for hosting us here tonight. I am happy to be here, even though I am a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to to get CNN coverage these days. [Laughter] [applause]

I think they are still searching for their tables. [Laughter] [applause]

MSNBC is here. [Applause] They are a little overwhelmed. They’ve never seen an audience this big before. [Laughter]

Look, everyone is trying to keep up with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape. For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for promoting Obamacare to young people on “Between Two Ferns.” But that’s what young people like to watch. And to be fair, I am not the first person on television between two potted plants. [Laughter] [applause]

Sometimes I do feel disrespected by you reporters. But that’s OK. Seattle Seahawks’ cornerback Richard Sherman is here tonight, and he gave me some great tips on how to handle it. Jake Tapper, don’t you ever talk about me like that! I am the best president in the game! What do you think, Richard, was that good? [Laughter] A little more feeling next time. [Laughter]

While we are talking sports, just last month, a wonderful story. An American won the Boston Marathon for the first time in 30 years. [Applause] Which was inspiring and only fair since a Kenyan has been president for the last six. We have to even things out.

We have some other athletes here tonight, including Olympic snowboarding gold medalist Jamie Anderson is here. We are proud of her. Incredibly talented young lady. Michelle and I watch the Olympics, we cannot believe what these folks do. Death-defying feats. We haven’t seen somebody pull a 180 that fast since Rand Paul disinvitied that disgruntled rancher from this dinner. [laughter]

As a general rule, things don’t end well if the sentence starts, “Let me tell you something I know about the negro.” You don’t really need to hear the rest of it. [Laughter] Just a tip for you. Don’ t start your sentence that way. [Laughter]

Speaking of Rand Paul, — [laughter] Colorado legalized marijuana this year. An interesting social experiment. I do hope it does not lead to a bunch of paranoid people who think the federal government is out to get them and listening to their phone calls. [Laughter] That would be a problem. [Laughter]

And speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a table here tonight. But they used a shadowy right-wing organization as a front. Hello, Fox News. [Laughter] [applause] I’m just kidding. Let’s face it, Fox, you’ l miss me when I’ m gone. [Laughter] It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya. [Laughter] [applause]

A lot of us really are concerned about the way that money is influencing our politics. I remember when a super pack with me was buying Marlboro 100s instead of regulars. [Laughter] Of course, now that it is 2014, Washington is obsessed on the midterms. Folks are saying that with my sagging poll numbers, my fellow democrats don’t really want me campaigning with them. I don’t think that is true, although I did notice the other day that Sasha needed a speaker at career day and she invited Bill Clinton. [Laughter] I was a little hurt by that.

Both sides are doing whatever it takes to win. The ruthless game. Republicans — this is a true story. Republicans actually brought in a group consultant to teach their candidates how to speak to women. This is true. I don’t know if it’ll work for women, but I understand America’s teenage boys are signing up to run for the Senate in droves. [Laughter] [applause]

Anyway, while you guys focus on the horse race, I’m going to do what I do. I will be focused on everyday Americans. Just yesterday I read a heartbreaking letter. I get letters from folks around the country every day. I get 10 that I read. This one got me. A Virginia man who’s been stuck in the same part-time job for years. No respect from his boss. There was no chance to get ahead. I really wish Eric Cantor would stop writing me. You can just pick up the phone, Eric. [Laughter] [applause]

I am feeling sorry, believe it and not, for the Speaker of the House. These days, the House Republicans give John Boehner a harder time than they give me. Which means orange really is the new black. [Laughter] [applause]

But I have not given up the idea of working with Congress. In fact, two weeks ago, Senator Ted Cruz and I, we got a bill done together and I have to say the signing ceremony was something special. We got a picture of it I think. [Laughter]

Look, I know. Washington seems more dysfunctional than ever. Gridlock has gotten so bad in this town, you have to wonder what did we do to piss off Chris Christie so bad? [Laughter]

One issue, for example, we haven’t been able to agree on is unemployment insurance. Republicans continue to refuse to extend it. You know what, I am beginning to think they have a point. If you don’t want to get paid while not working, you should have to run for Congress just like everybody else. [Laughter] [applause]

There is one thing that keeps Republicans busy. They have tried more than 50 times to repeal Obamacare. Despite that, 8 million people signed up for healthcare in the first open enrollment. [Applause] Which does lead one to ask, how well does Obamacare have to work before you don’t want to repeal it? What if everyone’s cholesterol drops to 120? What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a Clippers’ game? Not the old Donald Sterling Clippers, the new Oprah Clippers. What if it gave Mitch McConnell a pulse? What is it going to take?

Anyway, this year I have promised to use more executive actions to get things done without Congress. My critics call this the imperial presidency. Truth is I just show up every day at my office and do my job. We have a picture of this, I think? [Laughter] [applause]

You would think they would appreciate a more assertive approach, considering that the new conservative darling is non other than Vladimir Putin. Last year, Pat Buchanan said Putin’s headed straight for the Nobel Peace Prize. He said this. Now I know it sounds crazy but to be fair they give those to just about anybody these days. It could happen. [Laughter] [applause]

But it’s not just Pat, Rudy Giuliani said, “Putin is what you would call a leader. Mike Huckabee and Shawn Hannity keep talking about his bare chest, which is kind of weird. [Laughter] [applause] Look it up. They talk about it a lot. [Laughter]

It is strange to think that I have just two and a half years left in this office. Everywhere I look there are reminders that I only hold this job temporarily. [Laughter] But, it is a long time between now and 2016. And anything can happen. You may have heard the other day that Hillary had to dodge a flying shoe at a press conference. [Laughter]

I love that picture.

Regardless of what happens, I’ve run my last campaign. I’m beginning to think about my legacy. Some of you know that Mayor Rahm Emanuel recently announced that he’s naming a high school after me in Chicago. I was even more flattered to hear that Rick Perry, who is here tonight, is doing the same thing in Texas. Take a look. [Laughter] Thank you, Rick. It means a lot to me.

I intend to enjoy all the free time that I will have. George W. Bush took up painting after he left office. It inspired me to take up own artistic side. I am sure we have a shot of this. Maybe not. The joke does not work without the slide. [Laughter] Oh well. Assume that it was funny. [Laughter] Does this happen to you Joel? It does, OK.

On a serious note, tonight reminds us that we are lucky to live in a country where reporters can give a head of state a hard time on a daily basis. And once a year give him or her the chance at least to return the favor. We also know that not every journalist or photographer or crew member is so fortunate. Even as we celebrate the free press tonight, our thoughts are with those in places around the globe like Ukraine and Afghanistan and Syria and Egypt. People who risk everything. In some cases even give their lives to report the news. And what tonight also reminds us is that the fight for full and fair access goes beyond the chance to ask a question.

As Steve mentioned, decades ago an African-American who wanted to cover his or her president might be barred from journalism school. Burdened by Jim Crow. And once in Washington banned from press conferences. After years of effort, black editors and publishers began meeting with FDR’s press secretary, Steve Irving. They met with the president himself, who declared that a black reporter would get a credential. Even when Harry McAlpin made history as the first African-American to attend a presidential news conference, he was not always welcomed by the other reporters. But he was welcomed by the president, who told him, “I’m glad to see you McAlpin.” I’m very happy to have you here.” Now that sentiment might have worn off once Harry asked him a question or two. And Harry’s battles continued, but he made history.

We are so proud of Sherman and his family for being here tonight and the White House Correspondents Association for creating the scholarship in Harry’s name. [Applause] For over 100 years, even as the White House Correspondents Association has told the story of America’s progress, you’ve lived it too. Gradually allowing equal access to women, minorities, gays and Smericans with disabilities. Yes, radio and television and Internet reporters as well. Through it all you’ve helped make sure that even as societies change, our fundamental commitment to the interaction between those who govern and those who ask questions doesn’t change. And as Jay will attest, it’s a legacy that you carry on enthusiastically every single day.

Because this is the 100th anniversary of the Correspondents Association, I actually recorded an additional brief video thanking you for all your hard work. Can we run the video?

What is going on? I was told this would work. Does anybody know how to fix this? Thank you. [Laughter] Do you have it?

Kathleen Sebelius: I got this. I see it all the time. There. That should work.

Congratulations to the White House Correspondents. Here is to 100 more years.

Thank you very much, everybody.. Bless you. [Applause] [laughter] [laughter] [applause]




110 Responses to “President Obama at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner”

  1. 4 amk for obama
    May 4, 2014 at 8:43 am


  2. 6 Paulita
    May 4, 2014 at 8:43 am

    good morning! 😎 I am the odd kraken.

  3. 7 Melanie
    May 4, 2014 at 8:54 am

    The NYTimes Editorial Board disagrees with Maureen Dowd. President Obama and the World…

    • 8 Melanie
      May 4, 2014 at 9:00 am

      FYI there are criticisms of PBO foreign policy in the article for those who are adverse but it doesn’t display the cartoonish hate that MD has been expressing for what seems like the last 7 years.

  4. 9 Allison
    May 4, 2014 at 8:55 am

    Good morning, Chips and TOD Family!! Thanks for the recap. I love the video of VP Joe and Julia!!

  5. May 4, 2014 at 8:57 am

    Just as funny when reading it as it was to see and hear it. 😀 Thanks for the script Chipsticks!

  6. 13 peppylepew
    May 4, 2014 at 9:02 am

    Why Joe Biden not attend the WHCD? I have never seen him there.

  7. 15 hopefruit2
    May 4, 2014 at 9:04 am

    Any questions? Okay – didn’t think so 🙂

  8. 16 mtmarilyn
    May 4, 2014 at 9:09 am

    Happy Sunday TOD. Now I can go back and listen to what I missed last night. Thanks Chips.

  9. 18 hopefruit2
    May 4, 2014 at 9:12 am

    Y’all are baaaaaaaad. What are y’all going to do after 2016? What is CSPAN going to do after 2016? ROTFL…

  10. 19 hopefruit2
    May 4, 2014 at 9:15 am

  11. 21 amk for obama
    May 4, 2014 at 9:20 am

  12. 25 desertflower
    May 4, 2014 at 9:21 am

    Good morning!!! I’m last:) Loved VEEP skit last night! Funny, funny, funny. PBO was awesome…his comedic timing is impeccable…so funny.

    • 26 Paulita
      May 4, 2014 at 9:28 am

      Good morning DF!! Someone asked about cookemom, and I was missing Dudette too.

      • 27 desertflower
        May 4, 2014 at 9:29 am

        Well, I’ve missed cookemom too…but Dudette and I were just partying Friday night:) She’s around!

  13. 28 Nerdy Wonka
    May 4, 2014 at 9:31 am

    What a fantastic and funny event. Vice President Joe Biden’s skit with Julia Louis-Dreyfus was freaking AWESOME. Uncle Joe bumping to rap with his aviators? Epitome of COOL.

    First Lady Michelle Obama taking the ice-cream from them and then being caught eating it? Bravo, Madam!

    President Obama reading Republicans and the media for FILTH? I could watch that 24/7 because he was dropping truth like nobody’s business.

    Joel McHale was okay. If he had stuck to more jokes that had kernels of truth and reality in them and honed his delivery and timing, he would have been better. His jokes about Chris Christie and Bridgegate were spot on. His 10,000th fat joke? Dumb and not funny. His jokes about the GOP screwing over Black people? Funny. His joke about George Clooney’s (because Clooney recently defended and pushed back against douchebag Steve Wynn for calling President Obama an a**hole) head being so far up President Obama’s colon that he comes out with polyps in his hair? Disgusting. Who needs that image after just having eaten dinner?

    Great compilation, Chips.

    • 29 Paulita
      May 4, 2014 at 9:35 am

      I liked the picture of Joey B. with the shoe 😀

    • May 4, 2014 at 9:42 am

      Great review, Nerdy. Told someone last night that I didn’t get many of his jokes and barely laughed at the ones he told about Republicans. And I LOVE jokes about Republicans. There were people on twitter saying those who didn’t like McHale’s performance just don’t understand “insult” comedy, etc. That’s not true. I’ve seen McHale’s stand up and watch his shows. He just wasn’t that good last night.

    • 31 99ts
      May 4, 2014 at 9:56 am

      I didn’t like McHale at all – but I turned off fairly quickly – maybe he had some better jokes later. I think the President should be the final speaker – that would be so much better.

    • May 4, 2014 at 10:19 am

      “What a fantastic and funny event. Vice President Joe Biden’s skit with Julia Louis-Dreyfus was freaking AWESOME. Uncle Joe bumping to rap with his aviators? Epitome of COOL. ”

      Did you see what they did to the picture of Chuck Todd ?


    • May 4, 2014 at 10:37 am


      I absolutely love the uncut version of JLD’s video with Joe and FLOTUS. Even funnier and spot on!!

      I want a photo of Joe with the running shoe!!

    • 35 vcprezofan2
      May 4, 2014 at 10:57 am

      Nerdy, for me using your very own breakdown of McHale’s effort would not earn him a rating ‘okay’, and in fact, I would use your second sentence as my conclusion before giving him a ‘Try again. Performance should markedly improve when attention is paid to these areas.’
      I might also have added ‘Humour can work better with elements of truth woven in, with some empathy for the target, and with a vivid awareness of the make-up, or current reality (as you said, they just ate) of one’s audience.’ IMO, regardless of his previous experience, based on what I saw of his performance McHale was not ready for this particular limelight.

    • 37 hopefruit2
      May 4, 2014 at 10:19 am

      Indeed forus50. PBO’s jokes are cerebral/nuanced and context-dependent, which is why the actual jokes tend to become funnier upon second and third review and by the end of the week, they seem hilarious! But it’s his delivery and timing which makes him a hit the first time around! 🙂

      • 38 forus50
        May 4, 2014 at 10:30 am

        Yup, yup. And he owns them too. Even though they are written for him, he puts his own stamp on them and you can tell he doesn’t deliver one without first making it his. Which is why I love this at 12:53 above –you know that’s exactly what he thought when he first heard about Hannity and Guiliani talking about Putin’s bare chest.

  14. 39 Nerdy Wonka
    May 4, 2014 at 9:33 am

  15. 42 mtmarilyn
    May 4, 2014 at 9:35 am

    OK this President is the funniest ever! Whoever comes next will never be able to fill these shoes in all areas. This man blows me over. We are truly blessed. Have company here so am off to make breakfast. See you later.

  16. May 4, 2014 at 9:38 am

    “I found this episode of ‘Between to Ferns’ much more funny than the previous one”

    /whine whine whine ….

  17. May 4, 2014 at 9:45 am

    Wait. No screenshot of VEEP drawing a mustache and eye patch on Chuck Todd’s face? That was the greatest.

  18. 58 globalcitizenlinda
    May 4, 2014 at 10:01 am

    morning everybody!

    PBO and FLOTUS at WHCD – awesome as usual ;

    BDF VP’s skit – loved it!

    Joe McHale’s jokes – thought most were okay;

  19. 59 forus50
    May 4, 2014 at 10:09 am

    Yup, MHP is criticizing POTUS on immigration. I.CAN.NOT.STAND.HER.

    • 60 amk for obama
      May 4, 2014 at 10:12 am

      money, money, money.
      it makes people funny.
      2016 couldn’t come soon enough.

    • 61 99ts
      May 4, 2014 at 10:17 am

      I cannot work out what they expect him to do – when all congress wants to do is repeal the ACA and Benghazi!!
      Why on earth won’t the media criticize the GOP in congress – are they so scared of no longer getting any “unnamed sources said”

      • 62 vcprezofan2
        May 4, 2014 at 11:11 am

        ‘Why on earth won’t the media criticize the GOP in congress’

        When I am in a mood to be riled, THIS bothers me the most! I could resurrect a modicum of respect for MSM if only they would truly criticize BOTH sides.

    • 63 anniebella
      May 4, 2014 at 10:43 am

      forus50, I must admit sometimes I like her, then there are times I can’t stand her either. That’s why 80% of the time I don’t bother watching her.

  20. 64 amk for obama
    May 4, 2014 at 10:21 am

    bj has the uncut version of uncle joe and julia joy ride.

  21. 66 hopefruit2
    May 4, 2014 at 10:24 am

    He can relax now knowing that 8M more people have affordable health insurance coverage through Obamacare. #ACASignUps

  22. 67 Nena20409
    May 4, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Good, Good Morning TODers 😉

    You all were on FIRE last night. I looked up this site before I went off to bed. Wow!

    Loved the WHCD with POTUS and the comedian.

    Later Folks.

    Audrey Hepburn has she lived would have been 85 yrs today.

    Happy Sunday Sunshine.

  23. 68 vcprezofan2
    May 4, 2014 at 10:27 am

    ~~ ❓ ~~

    Too tired, and somewhat angry*, to talk just yet, but am now ‘in the house’.

    *anger doesn’t relate to village life; have a teenage guest who has been pushing my patience button something fierce this past week. Ah well, just acknowledging that in writing has already improved my mood. 🙂

    • 69 hopefruit2
      May 4, 2014 at 10:32 am

      (((((vc)))) Hang in there VC…Teenagers can be infuriating at times…and unlike 2-yr olds, they’re too big to be cute and cuddly. Sigh…

      • 70 vcprezofan2
        May 4, 2014 at 10:40 am

        And ‘too big’ to be redirected, gently or otherwise, because she has all the answers! 🙄 My friends used to tell me I was spoiled by the one I raised completely because we never had the kind of issues they had with their teens. I’m getting more than a taste of what they were talking about, and it’s frustrating. It’s so much harder to reason with a teenager with whom you do not share values! Sigh, indeed, Hopef. Thanks for the hugs.

    • 71 amk for obama
      May 4, 2014 at 10:34 am

      I see I have failed in my mission. bythistimeyoushouldhavemasteredit.

    • 73 99ts
      May 4, 2014 at 10:38 am

      They eventually grow out of it vc – there ain’t no other way to fix it. My delightful wonderful 12 year old turned toxic for the next 7 years.

  24. 75 hopefruit2
    May 4, 2014 at 10:37 am

    HF2’s Eazy Breezy Sunday Wake-up Breakfast

    1. Cuppa hot coffee
    2. Cream and/or sugar (optional)
    3. Drink coffee

    Done! 🙂 🙂

    Now you can proceed to your “Full hot-blooded American Breakfast” or whatever else your calling….

  25. 76 anniebella
    May 4, 2014 at 10:39 am

    I’m looking at the two VP video, the real VP and the tv VP and I’m laughing already. It was one funny video, I mean come on who’s to believe the key to the Oval office is left under some small potted plant. And FLOTUS coming in there catching them eating out of the bucket of ice cream, the 45 tattoo, and seeing Rep. Pelosi there getting one, even that sorry speaker Boehner saying he had better things to do and sitting there watching a panda video. It was one funny video. I loved VP Biden in that yellow car, he was cool.

    • 77 anniebella
      May 4, 2014 at 10:53 am

      Everything I have read said that our FLOTUS was at the top of the best dressed list last night. And the guy who follow POTUS last night, had some good moments, and some I didn’t care for. But it is tough following POTUS, not because he is President but because he is good.

  26. May 4, 2014 at 10:40 am

    CHIPS!! We need a screenshot of our JOE with his running shoe!!

  27. 83 hopefruit2
    May 4, 2014 at 10:44 am

  28. 85 amk for obama
    May 4, 2014 at 11:01 am

  29. 86 hopefruit2
    May 4, 2014 at 11:05 am

    Please read adept2u’s TL and see him preach and call out the emoprogs!!!

  30. 87 globalcitizenlinda
    May 4, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Another screenshot that needs to be captured for future use is mr Orangeman watching the Pandacam while telling Julia that he is very busy at the Capitol

    • May 4, 2014 at 11:14 am

      I was amazed he agreed to do it, Linda!

      • 89 vcprezofan2
        May 4, 2014 at 11:22 am

        Chips, I genuinely have come to believe that Boehner is way out of his (intellectual) depth. He’d probably agree to do anything that gets him some spotlight.

        • May 4, 2014 at 11:25 am

          Ah, you’re probably right VC – but I was still amazed that he agreed to do it!

          • 91 vcprezofan2
            May 4, 2014 at 11:32 am

            Was he paid, do you think? Boehner strikes me as the type who’d also do anything for a payment of some sort.

            • May 4, 2014 at 11:34 am

              I doubt it VC! It just struck me as odd that he would take part in the video when he knows how his base feel about cooperating with the Obama Admin on anything, even something fun like this! If only he’d cooperate on, you know, jobs and stuff.

              • 93 vcprezofan2
                May 4, 2014 at 11:44 am

                I’m going to be foolishly optimistic then and speculate that having a chance to, and participating in, this fun video is a sign he’s ready to cooperate.

                OTH, Chica, don’t forget that technically Boehner wasn’t cooperating with the O-Admin per se here. He was cooperating with the WHP (it was part of *their* entertainment, no?)

      • 94 globalcitizenlinda
        May 4, 2014 at 1:14 pm

        I couldn’t believe that Orangeman agreed to do this – I just went => “No He Didn’t!”;

        lots of creative minds (including yours and others here on TOD) could do a lot of real damage with those few seconds of Panda watching footage – instead of doing The People’s business;

        Orangeman must indeed be very proud of his do nothing image and his do nothing congress!

        If you combine this image and that of him appearing to be gulping down lots of alcohol, in broad day light, on a working day (St. Patrick’s or not), while all others around him are very mindful of the cameras, then that about sums it up about his work ethic and priorities

  31. May 4, 2014 at 11:16 am

    Great night for PBO and FLOTUS. Joel McHay was edgy and biting. Didn’t like him repeating what Nugent said even if it was a put down. I thought that was the most disgusting comment ever by any human against a sitting president. McHay wasn’t as funny but in reality, who could be?

  32. 96 donna dem 4 obama
    May 4, 2014 at 11:20 am

    Good Sunday Morning TOD~

    With all due respect to Dr. Jill Biden, I’m just gonna go on ahead and say it. VP Joe was some kind of sexy last night in that sports car wearing those aviators.We are so fortunate to have the best duo evah as President and Vice President.

    The Obama Presidency for the Win!!!

  33. 99 donna dem 4 obama
    May 4, 2014 at 11:26 am

  34. 100 amk for obama
    May 4, 2014 at 11:26 am

    uncle joe’s expression when he got caught by MO was a riot.

  35. 101 JER
    May 4, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Good Morning Chips and TOD.

  36. 104 amk for obama
    May 4, 2014 at 11:30 am

    Juventus wins Serie A title for the third successive year.

  37. 106 Ladyhawke
    May 4, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Eric Boehlert ‏@EricBoehlert May 3

    Tip to press: when reporting on new House Benghazi select committee, mention Senate Benghazi select committee ALREADY RELEASED ITS FINDINGS

  38. 107 Ladyhawke
    May 4, 2014 at 11:44 am

    Fox Benghazi Myths Dispelled By New Bipartisan Review



    On January 15, 2014, the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence released a bipartisan review of its findings in an investigation of the September 11, 2012, attacks on an American diplomatic facility in Benghazi, Libya. Much of the report dispels myths perpetuated by Fox News over the last sixteen months.



  39. 108 amk for obama
    May 4, 2014 at 11:45 am

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