Me: "Obamacare is a disaster!"
Jesus: "It's the right thing to do!"
Me: "SO WAS KILLING YOU, YOU HIPPIE!"
Mary: [weeps into gravy bowl]
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 28, 2013Would you all please stop doing stupid shit? Seriously, it's driving Me crazy.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 25, 2013****
Capitalism is controlled by an "invisible hand" that gives most people the invisible finger.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 25, 2013My message for humanity is "Kiss My ass!" And Sunday is the day when you do.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 24, 2013****
Your team's success today depends solely on the intensity with which you pray for their victory.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 24, 2013A huge Thanksgiving storm is coming. Millions of you will be unable to travel to be with their families. You're welcome.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 25, 2013****
Today be sure to thank Me for limiting the number of horrible things I could have afflicted you with this year to only the ones you endured.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 28, 2013Starting the meal. I asked Jesus to say grace. He said, "What, I haven't praised you enough already?" Aaaand it begins.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 28, 2013****
Sometimes I ask Myself, "What would Oprah do?"
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 25, 2013Time to sit back and watch your family's Thanksgiving dinner conversation follow the same progression of every YouTube comment thread.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 28, 2013****
A fun thing to do when anyone sends you a "Happy Thanksgiving!" text today is write back, "Sorry, who is this?"
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 28, 2013Now would be an especially hilarious time to "Like" Mitt Romney on Facebook.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 26, 2013****
Most of marriage is one person announcing they're going to get something from the kitchen and the other person saying, "Get me one too."
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 21, 2013Every workplace Hanukkah display screams, "We legally had to do this."
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 21, 2013****
Oxford Dictionary said "selfie" is the Word of the Year. If you want to look it up, you'll find it before "we're" and after "screwed".
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 20, 2013Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 19, 2013****
A good way to know you'll be paying more than 5 dollars for a coffee is if the guy making it looks like one of the Lumineers.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 19, 2013Most of life is spent thinking, "I would have sex with that person." or "I would not have sex with that person."
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 08, 2013****
Still time to dress your child up as Mommy and Daddy's Broken Dreams.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) October 31, 2013There is nothing more brave than masturbating with less than 3% laptop battery.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) October 19, 2013****
Do they say having a baby is a "magical" experience because it makes all of your money, free time and friends disappear?
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) October 20, 2013Sandra Bullock's acting in Gravity was based on my mom's reactions when my dad misses an exit on the highway.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) October 10, 2013****
The Obama Diary 
hi to all , what a day luv all the posts
Way to go, Okey!
Thanks just sneaked into the door while you where away, however happy thanksgiving. Ut did a fantastic rise and shine what dynamic President we have. happy to be alive in Obama’s Presidency
You did the right thing, Okey. When the door in the TODvillage is open, you have to jump in without hesitation.
I agree with you on Utal’s R & S today – a stellar job!
Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving celebration!
Its been a nice whenever I can spend some time reading all the stuff in TOD that you can’t get anywhere. just amazed how Chips continue to feed us all these goodies for nothing in return Luv my TOD family
Thanks UT for the laughs. It’s the only exercise I’ll be doing tonight 🙂
😆 You’re welcome.
Good evening, TOD. Hope all of you had a happy and blessed day!
‘Turkeyback Mountain’
Photos of a day of service in Atlanta:
Great photos, Alycee. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing those photos, Alycee.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. I H pe your feeling better.
That’s supposed to be hope. Too much food.
have mercy. that is actually how i feel.
My favorite Whoopie Goldberg movie, Jumping Jack Flash is on. bbl
Love the President and Michelle so much, and appreciate them. They never talk about themselves…in this message, both of them are concerned for others.
What good people they are!
Hope all of you had a good day…..our day was wonderful. Good food, family, laughter, a walk to the lake to work off the pie, thanks to all of you for being here.
Tomorrow our son and family come…..as I said earlier, my cup runneth over.
Thanks seems almost inadequate to express what I feel…..blessings to all of you, and to our First and Second Families. What models they are for all of us!
Well, the guests are gone, dishes in the dishwasher, what a beautiful day. The food and company was was awesome. I love these special days. Now comes the relaxing and hoping my stomach settles down.
It is so wonderful to be alive in Obama times. We are blessed.
We truly are blessed MTMarilyn. I so love our President.
Good evening TOD. Hope you all had a wonderful day. UT the Rise and Shine this morning stayed with me all day today. Thank you so much.
That just put a huge smile on my face. Thank you very much Jackie for the positive feedback. It is very much appreciated.
Sitting here just being grateful for life…
Another idiot Bush, this time it’s not George.
Oh please!!!!!!!
Who knew God was so funny? Great tweets.
Bobfr, ICYMI:
I had, Jacqueline!! Thank you 🙂
Hope you and your loved ones have had a delightful Thanksgiving.
#FORWARD
That should have been “I hadn’t …”
a tad exhausted … will check in tomorrow …. rest well everyone or ‘welcome to a new day’ depending on time zone given that I saw today that someone noted that TOD has become a “Virtual UN” linking people from all over the world <<< Chips, hope you saw that 🙂
Bob – From my part of the Virtual TOD UN, yes, thanks, had a lovely Thanksgiving, as I hope you did – I even heard from an “honorary” young teenage grandson in Florida – love it when they’re old enough to call themselves and ya know it was their idea!
Get some rest, as I plan to do next. See y’all tomorrow, another fine day to support President Obama!
Just had to post these tweets before departing …
… CBS clearly has zero credibility and zero value to our Democracy ….
We need to demand that this question be answered ….
Yes We Can
now, I’m off to get some rest ….
Yay!! I made it in… I’ve been gone all day and was quickly approaching paniccy (new word?yup) withdrawal- no way to log on to TOD all day! I rarely have time to post comments- too busy I am in soaking up all the goodnes, pure goodness in every post. So to not have access to what I was sure to be an epic day of posts, was just down-right painful! I’ve been getting v. emotional about PBO and FLOTUS lately (well, more than usual, anyway). I just broke down in tears seeing the promo for the Barbara Walter’s Interview tomorrow night. (happy tears!) Of a day of giving thanks, my most heartfelt was for my President and First Lady. Because of TOD I get a full measure of their daily brilliance and compassion. It was about this time last year that I found you, and I haven’t spent a day away since. TTHHHAAANNNKKKSS. Chiiiiiiiiiiiips! What you and LL and UT and Lovely Plains and ZZ and hopefruit and bobfr and dudette and amk and vc…et al…. what you do, and commit to doing daily, is suuuccchhhh important work. And you guys never complain, you’re always kind and so, so generous. Really, you’re my heroes! And y’know, you’re standing in pretty good company- I’ll let you guess!
Good morning any early early birds out there. Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanks+Giving celebration with family and friends.
😆 Moooooorning Mister!
Mooooooorning Early Birds!
http://theobamadiary.com/2013/11/29/early-bird-chat-88/