01
Nov
13

What Do We Want? Laughter

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54 Responses to “What Do We Want? Laughter”


  1. November 1, 2013 at 10:27 pm

    Not laughter, but still worthwhile ….

    Have mentioned before the truly invaluable insights you can find at http://20committee.com/

    Here’s an excerpt from a letter to the NSA I urge all of you to read:

    “Sure, more resources are needed for CI – who ever turns more money and billets down? – but above all there needs to be a culture shift at the Agency. Nobody actually likes counterintelligence, the hardass people who bring bad news and possibly want to investigate your office, but they have to be allowed to do what they do in a spirit of cooperation. After the Snowden disaster it shouldn’t take much effort to convince Agency personnel that the threat from defectors and traitors is all too real. Sometimes the odd, Aspergery IT guy in the next cubicle with bad social skills plus anger at the government actually is out to destroy you.

    And I would caution the CI folks not to go overboard now. Don’t repeat the let’s-polygraph-everybody-silly errors that came after the Martin and Mitchell defections to Moscow, or what happened at CIA when Rick Ames was unmasked as a traitor and Russian spy. The vast majority of Agency personnel are good people – gain their trust and they will practically do your job for you.

    How’s that for a start? I think that’s enough taskers for today. But do get on them. A lot is riding on fixing these problems. NSA really is the best and brightest of America’s secret government. Earn the trust of the American people and never let an Ed Snowden in any Agency building again. That would be a great start and, in the end, everybody wins. The American people deserve no less, so give it to them.

    SIncerely,

    John “Dash” Schindler”
    http://20committee.com/2013/10/30/whats-wrong-with-nsa/

  2. 7 Allison
    November 1, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    Congrats Bobfr on 1st!!

  3. November 1, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    First!!!! Thank yoooooooou Mrs Torres/Mata/Hazard/Lampard/etc, we all need a laugh after the week we’ve had!

  4. 37 amk for obama
    November 1, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Can we keep the football trash talking out of here?

    Go Gunners!!!

  5. 40 Layla
    November 1, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    Welcome to your Autopsy!
    Your doctor has scheduled you for an autopsy on ___________ at _______ AM/PM. St. Amgems Hospital wants you to be prepared for what should be an eventful time. This guide should answer the most common questions in regard to your procedure. Please call your doctor’s office if you have any further questions. Please remember, autopsies are performed on an “as needed” procedure. If you, or a qualified Medical Examiner chooses to cancel your autopsy, the Pathology department requires 24 hours notice.

    WHAT IS AN AUTOPSY?
    As advanced as medical science is, sometimes we need more thorough procedures to find out why your living status has been impaired. An autopsy can include CAT scans, X-rays, and surgical evaluation.

    WILL IT INVOLVE SURGERY?
    Yes. At times when there is a lack of obvious traumatic impact, surgery is needed. Your doctor may wish to examine your vital organs. This involves removal of the organs for the purpose of study. The contents of your stomach will also be examined, so we urge you not to take anything by mouth for 12 (twelve) hours before cessation of your existence or the procedure.

    WILL IT HURT?
    We certainly hope not. If at any time you’re feeling uncomfortable, please feel free to alert the pathologist.

    WHAT SHOULD I BRING?
    We recommend a very large, empty suitcase. Ideally, your family should sign a “permission for disposal” form. If this has been done, you’ll be provided with an effects bag and all unwanted matter will be disposed of in a device affectionately known as “Chuckie”. It can also be helpful for you to bring anything that might have contributed to your current condition. This can include any drugs containers from medications you might have ingested.

    WHEN CAN I RETURN TO WORK?
    Not for a while. We suggest you worry about this after your autopsy.

    WILL I HAVE A SCAR?
    We take vanity in consideration. You may have a large “Y” shaped incision on your torso. There may also be some scalp incisions that can be covered by a competent professional.

    WILL YOU LAUGH AT MY WEENIE?
    Yes. Pathology is a profession fraught with stress and alcoholism. Your doctor may already have placed you in the Weenie Relocation Program (WRP) which means your weenie might end up in any number of body cavities, at the whim of your doctor. Should you not want us to laugh at your weenie, we suggest you dispose of it beforehand.

    We at St. Amgems want your autopsy to be a positive experience and promise to treat your earthly remains with dignity and respect (aside from the weenie dealie). Please refer to our brochures “Cadaver’s Bill of rights” and “So You’re Dead. What Next?” for more information.

    Remember, here at St. Amgems, our day starts when yours ends!

    • 41 amk for obama
      November 1, 2013 at 10:58 pm

      A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Bernie Schwartz had the longest pe*** he had ever seen!

      “I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” said the mortician, “But I can’t send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge pe*** like this. It has to be saved for posterity.”

      And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man’s schlong. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife.

      “I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he said, and opened his briefcase.

      “Oh my god!” she screamed, “Bernie Schwartz is dead!”

  6. 43 utaustinliberal
    November 1, 2013 at 10:58 pm

  7. 44 utaustinliberal
    November 1, 2013 at 10:59 pm

  8. 45 amk for obama
    November 1, 2013 at 11:01 pm

  9. 46 amk for obama
    November 1, 2013 at 11:02 pm

  10. 49 Layla
    November 1, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    Subject: Computer Hard and Software:
    Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system>activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

    I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
    Thanks,
    A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
    ______________________________________

    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.
    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.
    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support

  11. November 2, 2013 at 1:04 am

    Hi Chips! I’m a lurker still looking for a way to join you guys. Please know I’m a thoroughly loyal PBO fan and would love nothing more than to be part of the group! In the meantime, I’d like to point out a nice PBO reference I found. On Grantland.com, theres a recent piece by the sportswriter Bill Simmons titled ‘This is Our Papi’, currently the 6th post down. It starts out as a profile of Bill Russell, and the 9th full paragraph down is a lovely recounting of Russell’s admiration for our president and reveals that PBO was instrumental in getting Russell’s statue erected in Boston. Hope you can use it!

  12. November 2, 2013 at 1:42 am

    Rest well TODville!!!

    #FORWARD Together

  13. 53 Jeff
    November 2, 2013 at 2:28 am

    It’s so odd how the media is involved with so much fact checking that sounds more like false checking.


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