three years ago…

Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) at a rally in a high school gymnasium January 23, 2008 in Dillon, South Carolina

times past….

the pizza guy

2006

huge in tahoe

To: Hillary Clinton <secretary@state.gov> Subject: Re: Chinese state visit FAQs

Hi. No, not a complaint as such – it’s just that my top-secret briefing notes from State have Bush’s scrawl marks all over them. Every time it says “Hu Jintao” he’s crossed it out and written “Huge in Tahoe”. It’s kind of distracting. Can I get a clean copy, please? I don’t want some photographer with a long lens catching me with this in my hand. B

To: George W. Bush <george@georgewbushlibrary.org> Subject: Re: if you get confused, just remember it’s pronounced “huge in Tahoe”

Thanks for that, I’ll bear it in mind. You know he left yesterday, don’t you? BHO.

To: Glenn Beck <glenn@glenn.beck.com> Subject: Re: thank you for finally becoming president, sir

Hey, Glenn, no problem. And thank you for taking a break from being a frothing rightwing nutcase. I guess it’s at times like these that it pays for us all to heed what Lincoln called “the better angels of our nature”. We both have our beliefs, and our separate jobs to do, and we should respect that. So I’ll try to stop thinking of you as an intemperate, paranoid buffoon as long as you’ll stop trying to portray me as the evil leader of a progressive international conspiracy hellbent on enslaving Americans. If you read out this email on the air, btw, I will have you vaporised, and your entire existence erased from human memory. If you don’t think I can do that, just go ahead and test me. Warmly, Barack.

 

From ‘All the President’s Emails’ at The Guardian

red alert

The Guardian: “I saw a piece in the New York Times claiming that the red Alexander McQueen dress Michelle Obama wore to last week’s state dinner for President Hu Jintao of China “sent out a number of signals. Fortunately, they were not mixed.” But what, precisely, were these signals?” Adam, by email

That she likes red? And she likes long dresses? And she’s fond of Alexander McQueen? Really, Adam, fashion isn’t quite as difficult to fathom as you seem to think. Or isn’t it . . . ?

Let us look at this from the perspective of someone who perceives conspiracy in the most seemingly innocent of places. I speak, of course, of Fox News’s highly imitable Glenn Beck. So give me a second while I don Beck’s famous glasses so I can see the world through his eyes.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what a terrifying world this is! Communists and Nazis beset me on all sides! And, oh my God, Michelle Obama’s dress! You know who else liked to wear red? Communists. Kill your grandparents and take your money.

And do you know who also wears long dresses? Fanatical Muslim women who want to bomb your house. And Alexander McQueen! Do you know who he was friends with? Kate Moss. And what was Kate Moss once caught doing? Taking drugs. Oh my God, the signals that dress is sending are that Michelle Obama is a communist fanatical Muslim who likes to freebase! America, save yourself!

🙂